The Inauguration of Barack Obama is on every channel in the world, but there is a problem: nothing will "happen" for another hour or so! So which channel should you watch to kill time until change comes?

Right now on MSNBC, Joe Scarboroough (fine), Mika Brzezinski (eh), Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward (really?) and Kenneth Cole (really??) are babbling over the same footage that CNN and Fox are showing, of nothing happening (Obama went to lunch with the Bushes!).

Pros: Your lesbian boyfriends Keith and Rachel will probably show up, eventually. Update: Here's Keith!
Con: Not in HD? Also, Chris Matthews will probably explode.

Meanwhile! CNN has Anderson Cooper (yay!) and Wolf Blitzer (argh)! And their usual cabinet of 500,000 experts and commentators and pundits. Boring. Oh, here's Campbell Brown. She promises "lots of new technology" showing up later. This means: holograms.

Pros: Your dreamy gay girlfriend Anderson, obv.
Cons: Wolf is talking talking talking talking talking way more than anyone else, because he is a word-creating robot. And they just threatened to fuck with holograms again. Turn it off.

Oh, and Fox. That would be an amusing channel to watch right now, right? Ha ha as soon as we turned it on some lady was warning us that the FBI and Homeland Security sent out a terror threat "of limited specificity and uncertain credibility" from an Islamic group in Northern Africa with plans to terrorize the inaugural. Classic Fox! Terror at the Inaugural! Then we cut back to The San Francisco Chorus, though?? For like a good 30 seconds?? The... San Francisco Chorus? Instead of terror? What is happening to our Fox?

Pros: Now we can laugh.
Cons: Now we can also ignore them.

Wait, NY1 is playing this? But it's in Washington? Wait they are covering people in New York standing around outside watching the inaugural on giant TVs. Ok...?

Pros: Pat Kiernan!
Cons: Too meta to count as inaugural coverage?

Katie Couric is on your CBS. This is calm and boring coverage for old people.

Pros: Katie Couric and Bob Sheiffer are soft-spoken and reasonable.
Cons: CBS is boring.

Let's not bother with The Today Show. Though Tom Brokaw will show up with the grownups in a half-hour.

LOL and ABC has a little news operation too! Adorable! Who the hell anchors this again? Tom Bergeron?

(House marathon on USA btw.)

C-SPAN has nice footage w/ the crazy people who call in to C-Span to say nonsense, so it's actually scarcely distinguishable from Fox right now. And PBS is, as far as we can tell, playing their usual children's programming.

Honestly there are not very many great options right now. So we'll go with NY1. Because of Pat.