Not sure what you did this lovely Labor Day weekend—saw your family, or headed off to the beach, or maybe just wandered the temporarily-empty city—but I can bet that you were not having as nearly as much wonderfully disgusting fun as our tipster. He managed to catch glimpses of the terrifying Alex McCord, from Bravo's Real Housewives of New York City reality horror, and her dopey (and apparently well-endowed) husband Simon in the nude while on, of course, the topical tropical island of St. Barth's. With, ew, their children. (To be fair, Alex is often naked, but this sighting was in the flesh!) Read the effusive report after the jump.

The anonymous, sex-positive American Apparel ad spoofer's latest conquest: the windows and front door of an upcoming Soho American Apparel store. Verily, our wayward artist has decided to strike Dov Charney right where he lives. Is this further evidence that the spoofer might be in cahoots with the company-the manifestation of the CEO's inner desire for ads unfettered by his dreary clothing? It's time to reveal yourself, poster-person. Click through to see the, um, seductive (?) re-imagining of the store's entrance:

Even teenage boys are suffering the effects of the global recession: "Going topless on beaches in French beach communities like St. Tropez has suddenly fallen out of fashion due to a number of factors, an expert says. During an economic downturn, women are less inclined to let it all hang out and more likely to cover up." [UPI, via Dealbreaker]

How's this for an unlikely couple? Former CSI star-turned-drug-runner Gary Dourdan and the singer responsible for the most annoying song of the decade, James Blunt, have apparently pooled together whatever cash they have left in their respective bank accounts and gone on holiday together. While on an Ibizan vacation of sin, the heroin/ecstasy enthusiast and the notorious player teamed up to stage a far racier version of Miley Cyrus’ homemade porny photo spreads, as they posed alongside at least three topless prostitutes female friends who were overjoyed to fake anal sex and engage in a little lesbian chic foreplay for the paparazzi. The NSFW photos, including a particularly fun shot of the blondest, nude-iest girl for hire who appears to be delighted to have her head shoved towards the third wheel's crotch, after the jump:

A-list stars are extremely selective about how they're portrayed in pictures. They routinely have specific language in their contracts for movies and photo shoots dictating just how much flesh can be shown, and in what way. But magazines have figured out a way around this: get one of the world's most prominent photographers to do the shoot, and hey, the stars let it all hang out! New York got Lindsay Lohan to strip for Bert Stern, the photographer who once shot Marilyn Monroe in the same poses. And Vanity Fair used Annie Leibovitz's cachet to goad the young Miley Cyrus into a creepy come-hither pose. And now, sadly, supermodel and man-curse Gisele Bundchen has fallen victim to the same trend. Oh no!

Tom Ford is using nudity in his advertising! Hard to believe, I know. Mr. Ford may be one of the world's most influential designers, but his latest ads have largely completed the evolution from provocative to simply boring. Which is a difficult stunt to pull off, considering the subject matter. But these three spots, starring Brazilian Alex Schultz, are so in-your-face that they lose the sense of allure which should, ideally, accompany any fashion ad—penis-showing or otherwise. Also hard to pull off when using naked people: making your target audience think about clothes. See the disconnect there? We're ready for the cultural needle to swing back towards fully clothed models, thank you. After the jump, the three ads—which are all, predictably, NSFW.

We all know that HBO producer Cynthia Mort is probably actress Jodie Foster's new girlfriend. But we forgot that she was such a defender of naked man-buttocks! She told the Observer last fall, in an article about male nudity in TV and film, that male on-screen nakedness was the new frontier in television she fully intended to conquer:

The outline on the model at left is not a bathing suit; that would be a tan line. The woman is completely naked. The ad for Cabana Cachaça was accepted not only at Playboy but also at Details, Men's Vogue, Esquire and GQ. Yes, this says something about eroding publication standards and the financial desperation of magazines amid the current advertising downturn. But more critically, it says that Cabana Cachaça is probably some really, really crappy liquor. Larger shot of the ad, marginally NSFW, after the jump.

Though celebrities dropping trou for the glossies has proven both controversial in Miley Cyrus' case, and "artsy" in Lindsay Lohan's, both of these spreads were intelligently shot behind closed doors. But when GQ decided to photograph Entourage's Emmanuelle Chirqui fully exposing her curves in the bright light of day, controversy didn't come by way of conservative media pundits. It arrived in the form of the LAPD's official nudity-watch squad, who interrupted the shoot to get a closer look make sure all was okay on set. As Chirqui recalls, one pervy fed stepped in as art director and instructed the crew "Could you make sure that her areolas aren't showing?" See what all the fuss was about for yourself after the jump:

As we've been noting throughout Gwyneth Paltrow's incredibly successful campaign to rack up attention during her Iron Man press tour, her wardrobe has been just this side of trampy. In the last few weeks, transparent dresses (but they're designer!), S&M shoes (eccentric!), and clavicle accented jumpsuits have all been pulled out of the twice-retired actress' bag of tricks. But now that we've seen just what lies inside the June issue of British GQ, we think this sexy train has reached its final destination. Yes, Gwyneth has dropped trou, but listening to her tell it, it's just not that big of a deal, okay?

Wednesday marked the first time in four days that Jason Segel didn't publicly recount his bestselling short story Getting Dumped While Naked, but that didn't keep his bare ween off the minds of close observers from Videogum to Vanity Fair. While one went the think-y route in exploring the Segel's phallus phenom, the other was the first to procured a screenshot of the actor's famous wang in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Guess which was which? Or just follow the jump for your prurient full-frontal fix. Remember, NSFW!

Another day, another star parties in London and lets their hair down. Or in Emma Watson's case, flashes her Britney to the paparazzi. Joining the very exclusive peek-a-boo sorority helmed by Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, recently legal Hermione Granger celebrated her 18th birthday by partying across the pond with co-stars in a very demure little black dress, but made the all-too-common mistake of failing to exit her chauffered car in the proper manner. Though it appears the potential bad girl was wearing some kind of thong-ish type thing, her lacey underwear left little to the imagination. And though it's not our place, we do recommend Watson consider heading to the nearest waxer before flashing her nether regions again. A closer look after the jump.

Alex McCord, one of the stars of Bravo's strange and upsetting reality series Real Housewives of New York City, continues to be nude. In a recent interview with In Touch magazine (a publication as prestigious as Parade magazine if someone pooped on Parade magazine), the square-headed fame grubber spoke out about the photos, saying "it was a celebration that a new mom can be in great shape." Um, OK. Fair enough. But riddle me this, Ms. McCord: Why did the photographer you mention, James Demaria, recently email us and describe these photos as a Playboy audition? (A slightly NSFW image follows)

Someone really liked that nude Alex McCord photo: "Hello. Can you tell me if their are more photos of Alex McCord nude and also how did you find them? Thanks."

Ew. Who likes Alex McCord, from Real Housewives of New York City? You know, the one whose head looks like a Thwomp and has the gay husband and makes her kids learn French? Yeah, she's awful. Do you want to see her naked? Of course you do. Apparently she posed nude some time ago, while pursuing an acting career (natch). Here's the Safe For Work version. You can go to the unsafe version from there. Happily, both images involve masks. And bitter regret.

China, the land where the human body is illegal, is threatening to ban a perfectly innocuous ad campaign by Pond's because it stars Tang Wei, the lead actress in Ang Lee's recent flick "Lust, Caution." The Chinese government feels that Tang Wei's sexy nude scenes in the film render her unfit for advertising. Heaven forbid the people of China be influenced in their skin cream purchasing decisions by a fellow citizen who was once naked—China got its population of 1.3 billion strictly through asexual reproduction. More than a week after the initial blacklisting of the actress, the fate of the ad campaign is still unclear [Ad Age]. After the jump, one of the Tang Wei ads, and the trailer for "Lust, Caution." Watch for yourself and be corrupted.

We'll always have New Rose Hotel. And The Last Mistress. And her latest film, Boarding Gate, and pretty much all of her other output with the exception of xXx. Alas, intrepid siren Asia Argento says she is giving up screen nudity lest that reputation precede that of her more, well, natural dramatic gifts:

We could make the typical cutesy gay jokes about this clip of Anderson Cooper watching clips of streakers getting taken down, but we're more bemused by his use of phrases like "tally ho" and "sticky wicket." And his bizarre insistence on calling genitals "bits and pieces." Watch along with Anderson as nude men are violently tackled! [CNN]

Though now ancient and doddering, Hugh Hefner is still the same old lovable lech he always was. The Playboy founder would like, in addition to Lindsay Lohan, the Jim Henson-fashioned Olsen twins (still acting Mary-Kate, who the fuck knows Ashley) to do a nude pictorial for the magazine because, according to an anonymous source, "Hugh thinks the twins are every young man's fantasy." Wait, really? I thought we'd moved on from that bizarre period of 18th birthday countdowns (Hef had originally courted the pair around then) and furtive, shameful New York Minute viewings. It seems that Hef may be a bit out of touch on this one. Am I wrong? [Showbiz Spy] After the jump, video documentation of the two sexpots Hef so pruriently craves.

US Weekly, chroniclers of the great celebrity experiment, have responded to Lindsay Lohan's recent nude pictorial in New York magazine with a little gallery showing some of the more famous examples of celebrities going topless for magazines. Now, now! Hands off your belt buckles, boys. They only show the covers of upstanding magazines. So think Jennifer Aniston being coy on a bed for GQ, not Drew Barrymore tweaking a nipple for Playboy. It's interesting how many repeat players there are. Maybe once you've done it the first time, you'll just keep pullin' 'em out at the sound of a camera flash. (Oh, a warning: there's a Britney Spears pap shot that really should never have existed in the first place, let alone be looked at.) [US] After the jump, one of the more iconic topless celebrity movie scenes. (Surprisingly SFW!)