• For once, watching cartoons is not limited to stoners. BAM hosts a festival of animation from around the world, starting tonight. [flavorpill]
• "Scribblers on the Roof" features Jewish writers hanging out on the top floor of a synagogue. Is that cool enough for you, Salon? [Paper]
• You could see a free outdoor movie and die, or you could spend 11 bucks for some much-needed AC. We recommend the latter. [TONY]

So this photo may show Ian Spiegelman trying to maul Doug Dechert, but who's the chick on the left? And what the hell is she on?

Friday:
• Worlds collide at the Central Park Summerstage, where Stephen Petronio's Company dances to Rufus Wainwright in Imitation of Christ costumes. Seriously. [flavorpill]
• Celebrate Bastile Day with excess amounts of food and wine, just like the Frogs do. [WUNYC]

You may be dying from the heat, but the real hotness is dripping from the emaciated bodies of the hipsters, who dutifully brave the rising temperatures and don their leotards so that they might entertain you with Blue States Lose. You know the drill: we weed through the stupid photos on The Cobrasnake, Last Night’s Party, Misshapes, and Ambrel so you don't have to. After the jump, Joey Arak shows you his tan lines.

What is it about Chelsea these days? The New York Post reports that Crobar, recently the tragic victim of a Rohypnol hoaxmail, hosted a decidedly non-hoax double shooting last night. Few details, but as of the NYP dateline, the two female victims were in stable condition, and the gunman was still at large.

• If you enjoy Moby, marine resources, and/or gift bags, buy a ticket for tonight's waterfront benefit honoring the "Stewards of the Estuary." Did we mention the gift bags? [CMRC]
• Yo La Tengo drums up an indie soundtrack for the "eight magical short films by surrealist aquanaut Jean Painleve." There's a metaphor in there somewhere about fishbowls and free concerts in Prospect Park. [flavorpill]
• Free with an anti-establishment twist: Easy Rider, featuring Dennis Hopper before he really lost his shit, screens courtesy of Movie With a View. [WUNYC]

Stephen Sakai, the former bouncer accused of enforcing a gunfire-based door policy at currently for-sale Opus 22 in Chelsea, may have a slight history of accelerating others' mortality. The New York Times reports forthcoming indictments against Sakai for three previous murders in Brooklyn, revolving around Sakai's bouncing at Opus 22 and Sweet Cherry, a waterfront strip dive in Sunset Park. The now-closed Sweet Cherry is described as "a dark place that maddened neighbors, prosecutors and city officials for years." Of the three Brooklyn victims, one was a bouncer-runner at Sweet Cherry, another a customer of the same club, and the third was another bouncer at Opus 22. Various bizarre statements from Sakai about the Brooklyn deaths (now disavowed) include his admitting to shooting the bouncer-runner "in the cheek or the leg or maybe someplace else." For more spacey criminal confusion, see Sakai's account after the jump of what happened at Opus 22, when he allegedly opened fire into a crowd outside the club, killing one and wounding three.

Man of the hour Thomas Onorato still won't let Visionaire's Scott Meriam into Motherfucker.

• All the carnage of The Godfather with none of the carby cannolis: Excellent Cadavers, a documentary about Sicilian mafia antics in the 60s and 70s, plays at Film Forum. [flavorpill]
• The good people from "I Want To Dance Better at Parties" host a gathering at which there is free beer. They want you to dance better at the party, too. Level V, 675 Hudson St, 9:30 PM. Free beer in the Meatpacking District, that's right.
• The band Nakatomi Plaza does indeed take its name from Die Hard. If you're the kind of person who wants to pay money for such musical irony, head down to Sin-e tonight. [Prefix]

• Jolie Holland hopes her first name will trick you into showing up at the Canal Room, where she will be singing folksy songs. [flavorpill]
• Because Beethoven really does make babies smarter, the New York Philharmonic troops to Prospect Park for the fertile-wombed Grups. [NY Phil]
• This week's important wartime allgeory is brought to you by French buttons. Seriously. [Paper]

• Bullitt features a car-chasing Steve McQueen trolling the streets of San Francisco. Even better, it's free. Enjoy the stifling heat in Bryant Park. [flavorpill]
• Nothing says "folksinger" like two middle initials: Robert A. A. Lowe performs at Brooklyn Fireproof tonight. [Paper]
• With all the rich people in the Hamptons, Cynthia Rowley readjusts her prices for the common man. The plebs shall triumph! [WUNYC]

Friday:
• With a name like the Cosmos, we're shocked to learn that New York's professional soccer team during the 70's didn't last. Watch the documentary Once in a Lifetime and see how a place like Studio 54 can make an excellent clubhouse. [flavorpill]
• Shearwater brings the xylophone (also, some other instruments) to an ecstatic audience at the Mercury Lounge. [Prefix]

Emotionally, we're still celebrating America's birthday — and we value nothing more than our nation's independence, and our constitutional freedom to look at fucked-up hipsters on The Cobrasnake, Last Night’s Party, Misshapes, and Ambrel so you don't have to. Yep, it's time for some Blue States Lose. After the jump, Joey Arak models his leotard collection.

• Before there was PhotoBooth, there was Andy Warhol. The Whitney exhibits a collection of his screen-tests-turned-portraits ,curated by Callie Angel. [flavorpill]
• If your interest in soccer actually extends beyond David Beckham's abs, BAM screens Goal Dreams, a documentary following the Palestinian national team as they try to qualify for the World Cup. [Paper]
䄲 Broken Social Scene in Prospect Park? No, that won't be an insufferably hip crowd. Not at all. [Prefix]

• Terry Dame and her Electric Junkyard Gamelan cater to your whims tonight at The Stone, playing such time-honored instruments as truck springs. Bring an old shovel and join in the fun. [flavorpill]
• Continuing with the music-made-with-random-objects theme, The Rakes play at Bowery Ballroom. [Upcoming]
• Tina Turner tribute show River Deep features an all female-cast and lots of private dancing. Also, maybe Oprah, cause y'all, Oprah just loooves Tina Turner. [Paper]

Page Six reported yesterday of an interesting fracas at Chelsea club Stereo: Entertainment Tonight correspondent and MTV VJ Vanessa Minnillo was pleasantly dancing with her posse of cleavage-happy gals when model Tyson Beckford started dancing with her, no doubt showing off his professional-level freak skills. Gossip blogger Mario Lavandeira, ever-ready to fetch drinks and defend the honor of various C-listers, saw Beckford's unwanted advances and intervened, putting a "cool" on Beckford's "steam." The two almost came to blows. Over Vanessa Minnillo. Oh, the woes of holiday gossip.

While North Korea polishes their pretty missles, find comfort in the safety of nightlife: whenever there's a holiday that gets a day off of work, there's a Motherfucker the night prior. This time around, the event was held Monday night at the surprisingly uber-club Eugene, providing hipsters and trannies with three levels to roam off (or on)-leash. Wherever there's a happy freakshow, there's Gawker photographer Nikola Tamindzic. After the jump, he captures the usual suspects: Amanda Lepore, Michael T., the Futureheads and some NSFW action.

• Before it was a TV show or a game you played in elementary school, M*A*S*H was a movie. Catch a free screening tonight at Bryant Park. [flavorpill]
• Swedish singer-songwriter Jose Gonzales confuses your understanding of ethnic indicators tonight at Bowery Ballroom. [Prefix]
• Find a barbecue, jackass.

Amanda Scheer Demme, the nightlife Cerberus who once stood ferocious guard at the Trop's velvet-roped gate, has been quietly plotting her return since being cast from her celebrity-clusterfuck Hades. According to Page Six, Demme plans on taking the party to private homes, where she'll take on role of overly permissive mom to her extended family of spoiled celebubrats:

Friday:
• It's not a holiday weekend for everyone, and the UCB Theatre is there to help: head over to "The Concert for LaVert," a "fundraiser" for an "ailing youth" featuring a "unique blend of music, people skills and biblical know-how." Uh huh. [God's Pottery]
• Sweet Jesus, Joseph, and Anna: The Devil Wears Prada is finally here. [TONY]