Mic, the well-funded website for woke millennials, has produced a corny video about voting called “69 the vote.” Now, we issue a tearful goodbye to 69, the only pure thing that was left in this hateful world. This is why we can’t have nice things.

Nice.

This has been Nice.

ISIS this week claimed responsibility for an attack that authorities now say was perpetrated by a man the terrorist group would ordinarily want to violently murder, not champion.

The mayor of Nice’s office has identified the driver in Thursday’s attack as Mohamed Lahouaiej Bouhlel, a 31-year-old Frenchman of Tunisian descent, NBC News reports. His identity card was found in the truck.

Congratulations to the Philippine Air Force on their 69th anniversary.

It’s the classic multi-millionaire’s dilemma: You’ve found the perfect South-of-the-Highway Hamptons home—but what do you name the shell company you’re buying it through?

Super Tuesday was very good to Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, who both won in seven states, demonstrating a broad base of support across the country.

Is it just me, or did the internet seem extra hoaxy this week? It's not just me: Wayne Knight is not dead, this woman was not rescued from a desert island by Google Maps, and the world's most exclusive restaurant isn't really. Let's get right to it.

The hero American crew members of the Maersk Alabama taught those teenage Somali Pirates a few things about America, and its values: we value freedom of commerce. And we value being able to kill you: