Noms de Dunes! "Hide the Home Buyers" Is the Hamptons' Favorite Word Game
It’s the classic multi-millionaire’s dilemma: You’ve found the perfect South-of-the-Highway Hamptons home—but what do you name the shell company you’re buying it through?
Sure, you could name it after the street address of the home, as is the case for the vast majority of shell companies that own property in the Hamptons; that’s fine, as far as your standard tax vehicle goes. The $35 million Southampton house on Meadow Lane used in the Showtime show Billions, for example, is technically owned by a Meadow Lane LLC, though investor Michael Loeb resides there with his family.
But there are also thousands of Hamptons residents who have opted to select more meaningful names for their fake companies: From Quogue to Montauk, billions of dollars in homes appear to be owned by inside jokes.
There’s the Butler’s Residence LLC, which owns an East Hampton home assessed at a mere $609,375. On the other end of the island, My Wife Really Likes It, LLC is the proud (and presumably happily married) owner of a $24 million, 20,000 square foot Wainscott home with a pool, clay tennis court, and five acres of green lawn. There’s a home owned by Vandelay Import Export—a Seinfeld fan, presumably—another owned by the Settlement Court LLC, giving an indication of where the down payment came from.
My personal favorite: Meadowcore, LLC, the owner of a $27,369,900 home in the village of Southampton, and also my private nickname for any style of dress that includes Tods loafers.
Some Hamptons owners take the fancy route. Jimmy Fallon’s Sagaponack home is registered to the Windemere Trust, an LLC that shares its offices with Kevin Spacey’s foundation—who, perhaps by coincidence or perhaps by introduction from a shared attorney, is a frequent Late Show guest. Steven Spielberg’s Georgica Pond home was registered to County Wexford, LLC before he sold it for somewhere in the ballpark of $20 million in 2014.
Others like to acknowledge right off the bat that yes, they are using their multimillion-dollar homes for pleasure. Down the road from Fallon’s house, another Sagaponack home, currently assessed at $16,088,200, is owned by “Camp Hedges, LLC”—a company registered to the Park Avenue apartment of former Blackstone CEO Gary Sumers. One home in nearby East Hampton is registered to a company named after a Phish song: Weekapaug Groove LLC. Another is in apparent reference to a Bob Segar classic: Turn the Page, LLC.
And then, believe it or not, there are those who don’t even bother with an LLC: David Koch, Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein, and Jerry Seinfeld among them. Brave.
The Generically Posh
Beautiful Joy, LLC
Starkissed, LLC
Oceanbaby, LLC
Real Estate, LLC
Professors Group, LLC
Kids, LLC
Last House, LLC
BO Family Holdings, LLC
Quelle Vie, LLC
Beautiful Horse, LLC
Waterview, LLC
Rainwater, LLC
Wellwater, LLC
Baywater, LLC
Seawater, LLC
Societe Du Vin, LLC
Cashmina, LLC
Moonbeam House, LLC
Sunbeam House, LLC
Friends Properties, LLC
No Name Road, LLC
Anonymous (But Rich)
Hampton Beach House, LLC
Center Of The Hamptons, LLC
Celebrity Holdings, LLC
Hamptons Residence, LLC
Hampton Cowboys, LLC
This Little Farm, LLC
Sagaponack Potato Farm, LLC
Big Woot, LLC
Beach House Associates, LLC
Southampton Follies, LLC
Center of the Hamptons, LLC
Inside Jokes
Big Johnny, LLC
Headin’ East Bub, LLC
Love Shack, LLC
Seven Dreams, LLC
Bungi Wungi, LLC
I.C. Sundae, LLC
Intellops New York, LLC
Fool Moon, LLC
Camp Jerome, LLC
Dream On, LLC
Euge Properties, LLC
Mooning Over Broadway, LLC
Hunting We Will Go, LLC
Twice the Price, LLC
Stay The Course, LLC
We’ll Miss Dougie, LLC
How About Here, LLC
Wainscott Wombles, LLC
South of the Border, LLC
Yabba Dabba, LLC
Two Yags, LLC
El Squid Roe, LLC
Queen Myway, LLC
WhatAreYouDoing, LLC
Cryptomeria, LLC
Beach Baby 798, LLC
Far and Free, LLC
Feversham, LLC
Suggestion Box, LLC
No Hotel Investors, LLC
Jonez’N For The Beach, LLC
Lance a Lot, LLC
23 Bittersweet Lane, LLC
Rai(NY) Inc.
Out Here, LLC
Pop Culture
Furby Holdings, LLC
Eraserhead, LLC
24 Penny Lane LLC
Out of Egypt, LLC
Turn the Page, LLC
Xanadu II, LLC
Graceland I, LLC
Sherlocks Manor House, LLC
Jezebel 21, LLC
Graceland I, LLC
Fifty Shades of Construction, LLC
Strawberry Fields West, LLC
Animal Lovers
The Moo Group, LLC
7 Fish, LLC
Big Moose Ventures, LLC
Moo Moo, LLC
Woof Woof Ventures, LLC
Dog Beach, Inc
Clam Clan Corp.
Puppy Mongo, LLC
Clam Hole Inc.
James Moo Cow, LLC
Galloping Cow, LLC
The Lonesome Goose, LLC
Inscrutable
Lucky Red, LLC
Big Climbing Tree, LLC
Red Lad, LLC
Item No, LLC
Cinnamon, LLC
Prop. One, LLC
New Tick Tock, LLC
Tick Tock II, LLC
Tick Tock III, LLC
Scrumpyhw, LLC
L NIGGLES PROPERTIES, LLC
Superfoot, LLC
Goals and Benefits, Inc.
Mjmjm Westhamptobeach LLC
Fiddledeedee Corp.
Nanabaloo, LLC
Feversham, LLC
R A T, LLC
Nice
69 Main Street, LLC
69 Middle Lane, LLC
69 MH, LLC
If 6 Were 9 Realty, LLC
69 Wickatuck Drive, LLC
69 Wild Goose Lane, LLC
69 Job’s Lane, LLC
Southcom 69, LLC
69 Foster Avenue, LLC
69 Rogers, LLC