Or, to ask it another way, when did Republicans get so bad at the race-baiting game they invented? Newt Gingrich has retracted his accusation that Sonia Sotomayor is a "racist." The old GOP would've never gotten into this mess.

You guys are all psyched for the 2012 elections, right? Let's check in with the prospective candidates: the unlikable has-been adulterer and the idiot pathological liar from up north.

There's only one explanation for everything in the world right now: TIME LOOP. By the by, Newt Gingrich is running for president everyone!

Did you know that shameful loser ex-congressman Newt Gingrich is the future of the GOP? It's true! We read it in a Matt Bai piece, so surely Newt will be as successful as Mark Warner.

You know what's "funny" about John Edwards getting busted (pretty damn convincingly) by the National Enquirer while meeting his mistress and love child in a Los Angeles hotel? Edwards' cover story was that he was in LA to meet with the city's mayor, Antonio Villaraigosa — and Villaraigosa, like John Edwards, cheated on his wife right after a primary election! And also, wouldn't you know it, Villaraigosa's wife Corina was battling thyroid cancer at the time, sort of like how Elizabeth Edwards is now battling breast cancer. Isn't that... awful? Yes, yes it is. But also it's part of a long trend among certain American political candidates to ditch their sick wives. In fact, you might remember this disturbing behavior from such examples as: the current presumptive Republican nominee for president!

Newt Gingrich, the disgraced former Speaker of the House, had a sit-down with IBM where he learned all about the horrors of the 3-D Internet, including Second Life, the annoying virtual world for undersexed adults, and Webkinz, the online-and-offline toy pet game for children. He calls Second Life a "sophisticated extranet," it represents "the next wave of collaboration using a 3-D Internet virtual world." He finds it compelling that "people actually spend real money to buy real estate in this online reality." So do we, in the sense that a train wreck is "compelling."