You guys are all psyched for the 2012 elections, right? Let's check in with the prospective candidates: the unlikable has-been adulterer and the idiot pathological liar from up north.

The idiot-liar, Ms. Governor Sarah Palin, was supposed to headline the joint NRSC/NRCC Republican fundraiser, this June. But because she is hiding in Alaska still, where no one can hear her say stupid lies every time she opens her mouth besides polar bears and penguins, it turned out that that was a "miscommunication" between "her political team" (the party hacks) and "the governor's office" (her husband and people she went to high school with and one of those polar bears).

So they replaced her with the next best thing: Newt Gingrich! Everyone loves Newt, because most people have forgotten how much they hate him.

Isn't this sad, actually? Their hopefuls are a guy who quit congress in disgrace ten years ago and the loser VP candidate from their last losing ticket. Was Jack Kemp busy that weekend?