Oh my—Bill O'Reilly is angry. Angry at Newsweek specifically, for perpetrating what he sees as a "growing problem in America...media corruption." What did Newsweek do? They allowed a liberal columnist to criticize Fox News and Sarah Palin!

Have you seen Mediaite's "Power Grid," that ridiculous thing ranking people in media, and maybe silently wondered, "What sort of blighted souls give a damn about any of this?" Well, one magazine is distributing PR statements touting their editor's ranking!

Did you hear about how Alaska's greatest source of shame and humiliation announced that she was going to strike down anyone who takes her name in vain with great vengeance and furious anger, just like God? Oh yes she did!

Fake Steve Jobs is back. Dan Lyons, author of the piercingly funny satire blog, insists his return may be temporary. But he wouldn't be having this much fun with Jobs' illness if he still worried about the Apple CEO's death.

Newsweek's Maziar Bahari, who has covered Iran for the magazine for a decade, was taken into custody by Iranian officials during an early morning raid of his home. His captors also seized his computer and several videotapes.

• David Letterman's ratings have gone up thanks to his very public spat with Sarah Palin. So don't be the least bit surprised if it continues. [NYT]
• Ann Moore signed a new contract with Time Inc. that will keep her around through 2012; John Squires, meanwhile, has a new gig at the company. [NYP]
• Newsweek is cutting out an issue this summer. You can guess why. [WSJ]
• Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia's latest project? That would be something called "Martha University," which sounds horrifying, frankly. [PC]
• Michael Gross's new book isn't available at the New York Public Library and chances are Annette de la Renta had something to do with it. [NYO]
• Negotiations continue between the Boston Globe and union reps. "People briefed on the talks say a deal is close." Don't hold your breath. [NYT]

• It's an ugly day at MySpace. The News Corp.-owned social network is slashing nearly 30 percent of its staff, or 400 people, due to a decline in sales. [BN, PC]
• Protesters in Iran have been using Twitter to keep up with developments on the ground. Now the State Department is stepping in and asking the company to put off a planned upgrade so service isn't disrupted. [Reuters]
• MTV entertainment president Brian Graden is departing the network. [NYP]
• It's official: NBC is dumping Live at Five and replacing it with an hour-long "daily information, lifestyle and entertainment show." [NYO]
• Interview dropped editorial director Glenn O'Brien last week. Now the magazine's parent company, Brant Publications, is suing him for allegedly breaking the terms of his confidentiality agreement. [WWD]

Newsweek interviewed MSNBC morning host Joe Scarborough last week, and prominently mentioned when Scarborough defended the murderer of an abortion doctor. That didn't go over well in Scarborough country, so Newsweek editor— and frequent Scarborough guest—Jon Meacham changed it.

In your shiny Monday media column: Spy magazine lives, David Carr survives, Dan Abrams hires, Dana Milbank thrives, and Fleur Cowles dies:

This week, Stephen Colbert is bringing laughter and joy to a devastated quagmire of misery and destruction: Newsweek. Oh, and Iraq.

• Stephen Colbert will be Newsweek's guest editor next week. [NYO]
• Conan O'Brien's second Tonight Show dropped 30 percent from Monday's record-setting premiere, although that was probably to be expected. [THR]
• For the third straight month, MSNBC bested CNN in the cable news ratings. Fox News remained in first place, as usual. [Daily Finance]
• More bad news for CNN: Campbell Brown returned from maternity leave this week and immediately returned to fourth-place in the ratings. [THR]
• A new Harvard Business Review study reveals that 10 percent of Twitter users account for more than 90 percent of Twitter messages sent. [AdAge]
• Jon & Kate Plus 8 is still generating obscene ratings, sadly. [AP]

Newsweek has enlisted Stephen Colbert as a guest editor in a desperate attempt for "buzz." It's totally working! Because we have obtained, via a publicist, via Newsweek's marketing team, a direct (outrageous!) quote from Colbert about his upcoming fake editorialism:

In a move that sort of reeks of desperation more than it does slick PR, Newsweek's Jon Meacham announced that Stephen Colbert will be the magazine's guest editor for the issue hitting newsstands on June 8.

She is very powerful, and so she will probably destroy Newsweek for reporting this, but: Oprah's popular show, when it is not about giving you free things, is about promoting stupid and often dangerous quackery and pseudoscience.

In your practically-weekend Friday media column: Playboy could be yours, Michael Kinsley wants to fight newsweeklies, a new type of journalism that will fail, and the police department will run your local paper OR ELSE:

• Monthly mags continue to suffer: Ad pages have dropped by 23 percent on average, although the situation is particularly dire at Condé Nast. [NYP]
• Maureen Dowd landed in a bit of hot water after it was revealed she'd "borrowed" from blogger Josh Marshall for her op-ed column yesterday. She's since offered a (dubious) explanation and apology. [E&P, HP, Politico]
• Television networks start selling ads for the fall season today as part of upfront week, although the economy is putting a damper on things. [NYT]
• Despite few successes and many failures, NBC golden boy Ben Silverman still has a job. For how much longer, though, is anybody's guess. [NYT]
• Angels & Demons was No. 1 at the box office with a $48 million haul. [WSJ]
• If you can't find Newsweek on newsstands, that may be because the magazine has totally redesigned itself. [Newsweek, WaPo, HuffPo]

In February, the New York Times reported that Newsweek would soon be unveiling a design specifically intended to "appeal to its best-educated, most avid consumers of news." That new design is being unveiled today.

For the love of God can the Obama White House please assign someone to keep a 24-hour watch on vice-president Joe Biden to insure that he doesn't get out without his muzzle on ever again?!

In your cloudy Monday media column: Rumors of woman-centric layoffs at Men's Journal, Warren Buffett gives up on newspapers, Newsweek goes through "the change," job moves galore, and more!:

Oh look, a new study perfect for supporting any old opinion! Pew researchers found that half of American adults switch religion at least once—Catholics, out of conviction, and Protestants, out of laziness. Theory!