Today our very own urban culturalist Brian Moylan laid out some ground rules for summertime New York tourists. They were harsh, but fair. But one poor commenter about to visit the city got scared and needs more advice. Help them!

New York, you are about to get a very rich neighbor. Here is a $16.5 million mega-mansion in Montclair, NJ with sweeping views of the Manhattan skyline, a tunnel, theater, pool, hot tub, and its very own website.

"I can think of only once in the last eight and a third years where we held for more than a minute or two. I never find any service interruptions," says Bloomberg. Then again, he does ride the 6 train.

We've all wanted to rob a free-standing ATM. It's just a fact. Well, a group of folks in NYC have actually gone and done it, going on an ATM-robbing spree. Costs two dollars every time, but it's worth it. [pic]

Celebrity robbery is a status symbol, but actress Amanda Peet isn't famous enough to fall victim to it, according to a juror who acquitted her accused robber yesterday: "We didn't really consider her a Nicole Kidman or anything like that."

Linguists say Queens' dialect has disappeared, seamlessly absorbed into the roiling pit of grotesque guttural utterances of New York at large. Fran Drescher begs to differ. No, seriously, that "melodious and mellifluous" quote is from her. [NYDN, Image: Getty]

A Nepalese immigrant who grew up in poverty and worked for decades as the butler to a prominent Upper West Side family has been willed an $8.4m estate by his late boss, actress Ruth Ford. Ford's daughter was, erm, disinherited.

Restaurateurs of New York, beware: Do not open a late-night spot anywhere near Georgette Fleischer. The downtown scold, a Barnard professor, has just successfully had hotspot La Esquina closed down because of code violations. And this isn't her first victory.

[Oprah feeds the multitude in New York after the 'Live Your Best Life Walk' in New York, which celebrated the 10th anniversary of O, the Oprah Magazine; Pic via Getty]

The same Staten Island ferry that crashed in 2003 has crashed again. 60 people injured.

In the gulf of disbelief following thirty-year-old suburbanite Faisal Shahzad's attempt to blow up Times Square, a series of superficial personal artifacts emerge: Handwriting analysis, photos of refrigerated leftovers, his resume. Can we divine a real person from this stuff?

An indie filmmaker was shooting a robbery scene in a convenience store; passersby got scared and called the cops, who busted in and almost shot the fake robber. Same thing happened during the filming of 300 Days of Summer. [Gothamist]

A kink emerges in the tidy "hero vendor" storyline of yesterday's Times Square bomb incident. Three different people are being reported as the eagle-eyed vendor who notified police about the smoking SUV and saved thousands of tourists from being exploded.

Reuters and MSNBC report that a "failed explosive device" has prompted an evacuation of Times Square. Earlier tonight, a man fled from an SUV that was smoking and making popping sounds. Inside, FDNY found "explosives, gasoline, propane and burned wires."

Police have shut down Times Square due to a suspicious package.

AriZona Iced Tea wants you to know they're not from Arizona. So don't boycott them!

The Upper West Side co-op owned by Sting and his wife Trudie Styler has gone into contract. No word if it went for its original asking price, $19 million. Whoever bought it will have some sexy ghosts to deal with.

The remains of 25-year-old Laura Garza, who was last seen alive at NY's Marquee nightclub in December 2008, were found in Pennsylvania near the home of main suspect Michael Mele, who is in jail for sex offenses. [NYP, pic]

An as-yet unnamed documentary about disgraced ex-governor Eliot Spitzer debuted at the Tribeca Film Festival this weekend. It features titillating new details about Spitzer's liaisons with hookers—and may also give him the wiggle room to stage a comeback.

Here's a phrase we haven't seen in a while: "gangs of wilding teens." They're terrorizing New York's subway system and turning Central Park's Strawberry Fields into a battlefield. They're too young to know Strawberry Fields is about peace! [NYPost]