New York Is under a tornado watch until 8 PM tonight. [Wizard of Oz joke]

The demo iPads at Apple stores are like something out of The Andromeda Strain. The Daily News swabbed a couple and found staphylococcus aureus, "the most common cause of staph infections", as well as yeast and a rash-causing bacteria. [Gothamist]

To prepare for her role in Iron Man 2, Gwyenth Paltrow ate nothing but kale. To prepare for violent Jihad, two New Jersey men played paintball and lifted weights, before attempting to travel to Somalia.

Diana Taylor, Bloomberg's girlfriend and Citigroup board member, was approached by Republicans to run against Kirsten Gillibrand for senator: "If she wants it, she has a political future." She'll most likely wait until Mike is done as mayor. [NYT, Getty]

State police yesterday found 22-year-old Thomas Wopat-Moreau injured in a swamp less than 500 feet from the Taconic State Parkway—where he had been since early Sunday after swerving off the road—by tracing his cell phone. [NYDN, pic]

Gird your loins, lads and ladies of New York. Prince of England and King of Sex Harry Windsor is headed back to our city this summer for a Veuve Clicquot polo match on Governor's Island. It's open to the public!

Fleet Week in New York is not all hunky sailors. As part of a series of military aircraft demonstrations, a Navy Osprey plane landed in a Staten Island park, sending debris falling onto spectators. Video inside.

Marina Abramovic's weeks-long performance art piece ends today. It raised important questions about the nature of art. They will probably never be answered. What's certain, though, is that an audience member made themselves vomit, and another stripped nude today.

[The new Luna Park opened this weekend on Coney Island. It is getting positive reviews. Go there and eat some cotton candy, take a few rides on the Wonder Wheel. (Pic via Getty)]

The weather is nice and hot and we can all almost taste the sweet freedom of Memorial Day. Summer is here, and that's awesome, but there are just some parts of the season that suck.

Andrew Cuomo has accepted the Democratic nomination for governor of New York. Surprise.

The New York Attorney General today will announce that he is running for governor with Rochester Mayor Robert Duffy at his side. There will be some sniffing around for past scandals, but who cares about lieutenant governors anyway? [NYDN, pic]

Today we looked at the Trend-iness of Brooklyn, inciting lots of neighborhood debate among you commenters. Much of it was Brooklyn-related, but one commenter made a lovely case for my borough of choice, Manhattan.

Super Bowl XLVIII will be at the new, open-air Meadowlands Stadium in New Jersey. Way to ruin it for everyone, NFL. Now the big game will be about frostbite instead of leeching off an expense account in a warm climate.

Now that she's embroiled in a bribery scandal, Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, is considering a move to New York. We think that's a lovely idea. Here is everything you need to know about New York's newest potential expat.

Conan O'Brien's just-sold $30 million Upper West Side mansion has 8 1/2 bathrooms.

A guard at an upstate New York juvenile detention center says that a dance there last December turned into an orgy involving a prostitute and a 15-year-old girl, who allegedly gave lap dances and blow jobs to inmates.

The Attorney General released a video today, announcing what everyone has known for a while — that he will seek the governor's office this year. It contained, according to the NYT "New Yorkers of ethnic groups praising Mr. Cuomo." [NYT]

The exiled Tibetan spiritual leader is holding court in New York, where yesterday he said Marxism has "moral ethics" and capitalism is solely about "how to make profits." Event tickets were between $20-$60. He's holding a Twitter Q&A today, too!

A Staten Island teacher won an initial court ruling after she was suspended for allowing students to write down penis-related Yiddishisms in an HIV education class. She is now seeking $1 million in damages from the city. [NYT, pic]