Here's a delicious template for peace in the Middle East: Coney Island Bialys and Bagels — at 91, the oldest bialy shop in New York City — was on the brink of shutting down after the founder's grandson had called it quits. But the bialys will live on, thanks to two Muslim businessmen harboring a deep fondness for the ways of the shmear.
To see the image of Charlie — the white carriage horse who dropped dead on 54th Street after weeks of choking on taxi exhaust while transporting Midwesterners to various locations around a park they were incapable of maneuvering through the use of their own, atrophied jelly-legs — was to have your heart break. But the Horse and Carriage Association assured everyone it was just a random death. Nothing to see here, folks! Just a dead horse collapsed over a manhole cover covered in a blue tarp: "Our horses are taken care of," they assured us. Well, the necropsy results, performed by the ASPCA, are in — and Charlie was a very sick horse.
On Monday morning, an 80-year-old Long Island man walked out his front door to get his paper—as he'd done hundreds of times before—only to fall, suddenly, into an eight-foot-deep hole, from where he was forced to scream to his daughter for help. Were you looking for a living, breathing metaphor for the newspaper industry? Because there's one in a hole in Oceanside, New York.
Start spreading the news! We're leaving today! We wanna be a part of it: Resorts Worrrld, Resorts Worrrrld! At last, a viable alternative to gainful employment comes to the greater New York City area — in the form of legalized gambling! Drink for free! Stuff your purses with buffet items! Double your life savings on one bet! All your prayers have been answered, just as soon as you pilgrimage to the crown jewel of South Ozone Park: the Resorts World Casino New York City.
The first man in U.S. history to be successfully convicted of organ-trafficking is a 60-year-old man from Brooklyn named Levy Izhak Rosenbaum. Prosecutors say he would farm his kidneys in Israel, paying as little as $10,000 for one. He'd then transport them to the U.S., where he'd sell them for upwards of $120,000 to grumpy bubbies waving crumpled Take-A-Numbers and grumbling, "What? You got nothing fresher?" over a backroom butcher case.
Oh no: violent protesters! An NYPD police association is threatening lawsuits against protesters who assault police officers and is warning of "growing violence," even as Occupy Wall Street has proven its non-violence time and again.
Thirty-eight days since the Occupy Wall Street movement first took over Lower Manhattan's Liberty Plaza, the movement has caught fire and spread to more than 100 cities nationwide and beyond. Polls show that close to 60% of Americans approve of the protests.
Public transportation in New York is about to get even better and demonstrably worse all at the same time. While the TLC is cutting down on cabbies honking their horns, the MTA is ditching the trash cans in subway stops. Man, this is going to get messy.
Congratulations, tourists. Your pathetic need to reignite the long-dead flames of your loveless marriages by forcing a sickly, mistreated horse to haul your fat asses around Central Park has resulted in murder.
The most contentious issue of Occupy Wall Street, besides whether or not there needs to be a fundamental restructuring of America's political and economic systems, is human waste. The Occupiers' Manhattan neighbors want them to stop pooping all over the place.
New York City offers a great many things, but places to sit and places to relieve oneself (which might also encompass a place to sit) are not among them. One of those deficits is about to be remedied, however, as the ambitious new CityBench program seeks to install 1,000 new benches on city streets, with an emphasis on placing them near "bus stops, retail corridors, and in areas with high concentrations of senior citizens."
The month-old Occupy Wall Street protests have already lasted longer than most observers (including us!) had expected. But with freezing cold temperatures and an inevitable media pullback, how much longer will they last?
Occupy Wall Street poster villain and viral video star Anthony Bologna, the NYPD Deputy Inspector who pepper-sprayed a woman because he felt like it, was found in violation of department guidelines (see Code Section 819B: "No officer should act like a power-drunk psychopath within 50 meters of a visual recording device"). His punishment? 10 days of vacation, docked.
To the illustrious and soul-deadening genre of McDonalds Beatings Caught on Tape, we can add this: the one where two irate customers jump the counter so the McDonald's cashier runs in the back and fetches and metal rod and beats the hell out both of them, but the cashier was a man who just spent a decade in prison for manslaughter and the customers were both women so there really aren't any folk heroes here, folks.
Occupy Wall Street's camp out in Zuccotti Park could come to a messy end Friday morning. The city has given protesters a 7 a.m. deadline to clear the park for a "cleaning" that would effectively end the occupation. But occupiers promise to resist.
Something is rotten in the state of New York. Specifically, upstate. People in the Buffalo area keep crashing their cars into buildings, and nobody can explain it.
Just when you think that Manhattan is totally safe for gays, you hear about an awful verbal attack that you just can't believe. And in super gay Hell's Kitchen for that matter. Did the two men who were called "fags" in a CVS this morning do the right thing?
