Everybody likes to troll Harvard, even the New York Times.

A big surprise today, a shock, a dark horse galloping from nowhere to win the championship: the New York Times declares that "The Super-Short Workout" is the "fitness trend" of 2014. A trend that they invented!

The opinion department of the New York Times is very frightened by recent techno-geopolitical developments, and it wants you to be frightened too. The (alleged) North Korean aggression against Sony Pictures, an editorial explains today, is a wake-up call to a slumbering and inadequately technology-defended nation:

Today the New York Times published an incredible, and incredibly detailed, account of unrestrained favor-trading within the Obama administration. In a nut: The president’s cabinet, including the State Department under Hillary Clinton, suspended travel bans placed on certain Ecuadorian nationals who committed fraud (and worse) after those nationals’ family members pledged five- and six-figures sums to Democratic organizations.

How do you get a quote from Sony Pictures chair Amy Pascal for a column you want to write about her? It helps if you're good friends with her husband—and it helps even more if you show him your column in advance to assure Pascal that the coverage is positive.

Mark Leibovich, a national correspondent for the New York Times Magazine, is one of the few prominent "mainstream" political reporters who does not make you despair for journalism. He's zesty! And he's here now to answer your question on Washington, politics, power, and his new book.

The New York Times' Steven Greenhouse has spent nearly two decades as a reporter covering labor in America. This week, he announced he's taking a buyout. He talked to us about the labor beat, unions, and the future of the American worker.

Credulous—adj.—"willing to believe or trust too readily, especially without proper or adequate evidence; gullible."

Today in the opinion section of the world's most influential newspaper, Frank Bruni writes about his family's Thanksgiving food, and Thomas Friedman writes about "news drumsticks to chew on," including the fact that Stevie Wonder recently won an award. Please try harder.

The New York Times checked up today on the financial situation of the Reverend Al Sharpton, New York and America's most public private citizen. The setup is about how Sharpton has gone from outsider to insider, track suits to tailored suits, "from the streets to the suites," in his words, etc. Then we learn—well, "learn" isn't exactly the right word, given how well-documented all of Sharpton's aspects have been through the years.

Solange Knowles—the songwriter, silent film star, and sister of Beyoncé—got married to her fiancé, Alan Ferguson, this weekend. The entire wedding party wore white, Solange and Alan rode around on antique bikes, and Jay Z was there.

Well-moisturized Republican David Brooks fancies himself a bit of a social scientist. Not really in the sense of like, doing science. More in the sense of "knowing some guys."

The New York Times editorial board made a bold statement today regarding the paper's treatment by the Chinese government, which does not care about the New York Times.

Last week, America's paper of record published an article on Alex From Target, a cherubic teen superstore employee who briefly became the most notorious human on Twitter before his inspirational rise to fame was co-opted by society's least upstanding citizens. The Times' story was perfunctory except for one curious part that revealed a lack of pop culture knowledge that will make any true '90s kid spit Sunny D onto his Gameboy.

There must be plenty of people who think about politics who have reactions to Tuesday's election results. Rather than bringing in any of them, though, the New York Times opinion section decided to run a piece today by the fraud and shill Frank Luntz.

Stephanie Clifford, a New York Times reporter who is 36 years old, has just received a seven-figure book deal for her first novel. It's already been optioned for a movie as well.

"We've just had a nonsense midterm election," basic bitch Thomas Friedman writes today. "Never has more money been spent to think so little about a future so in flux. What would we have discussed if we'd had a serious election?" Well? What???

The New York Times real estate section is always a window into the deranged material conditions under which we live. But this weekend's edition presented a particularly neat, quasi-intentional summing up of conditions in the city's current Gilded Age.

Chin-stroking idea muppet Thomas Friedman has written and published a nationally-distributed newspaper column again today. Has he told you his door handle story? I think you will find it very instructive.

I bet thinking up two new column topics every single week is pretty hard, after a while.