Judge Pat Murdoch (pictured)—Albuquerque, New Mexico's top criminal judge—was arrested yesterday and charged with raping a prostitute, which is frowned upon in judicial circles. But this isn't just your boring, run-of-the-mill judicial hooker rape case!

Everyone knows that injecting little kids with botox is bad, but what about injecting little kids with heroin? Yes, that is also a parenting "no-no," as alleged heroin dad Jose Paul Velasquez Jr. can tell you, possibly from jail.

A second allegedly pimping professor has emerged in the case against David Flory, the physics professor arrested for running "virtual house of prostitution" Southwest Companions. Flory operated the escort database as a "hobby," and says he didn't profit from it.

A small plane crashed yesterday in New Mexico's Lake Heron, and there are no reports of survivors. However, shortly after the crash, police told the Santa Fe New Mexican that "several packages began surfacing," referring to packages of cocaine. Police have cordoned off the area and will dutifully report every last gram of cocaine that is retrieved from the lake.

A lady in New Mexico received a yogurt sample from her local grocer. She recognized the flavor: semen. She spat the yogurt out and called the cops. Forensic evidence later revealed sperm cells in the lady's yogurt.

[New Mexico has been unseasonably cold lately, which sucks, but it appears to make the sledding that much more awesome. Image via AP]

A Mexican restaurant cashier foiled an attempted cash register robbery last week by throwing a box of empanadas at the thief! (No, not because he stopped to eat them.) He dropped the register, and ran away, "covering his head."

New Mexico Lt. Gov. Diane Denish made a funny during a televised debate. Denish, who is running for governor, wanted to accuse opponent Susana Martinez of wasteful spending on government bonuses. Instead, she said Martinez "gave big, fat boners."

Police in New Mexico raided a middle school and searched its on-campus greenhouse for marijuana. They even brought out their helicopter! What did they find? A bunch of tomato plants.

Austin Purifoy, the 19-year-old who mistakenly pooped in a Civic he thought was his girlfriend's, is joining the Army. But we will remember him fondly, for his immortal words upon being discovered by the car's real owner in the backseat:

A Goodwill store in Albuquerque, New Mexico received a bizarre donation in its collection box last week: a pistol, a grenade, some ammo and some weed. The store was evacuated until the bomb squad arrived and gave the all clear.

A gunman opened fire on an office in Albuquerque, killing two before turning the gun on himself.

A New Mexico man was picked up on the side of a highway last week with his back, ass, and prosthetic leg engulfed in flames. He apparently lost a drinking game after only being able to down six beers.

Actor Val Kilmer told a New Mexico county commission he was sorry for saying that 80 per cent "of the people in my county are drunk." His plans to open a bed and breakfast were given the go-ahead. [AP]

The people in the New Mexico town where Val Kilmer lives hate him. They're holding up permits for turning his home into a bed & breakfast because he called them a bunch of killer drunks. Now the ACLU is involved!

The Bernalillo County Sheriff's Department in New Mexico has has formed a "party patrol" to deal with underage drinking. Here is what the "party patrol" consists of: 16 specially-assigned deputies, and a goddamn helicopter.

The hits keep coming for Arizona. New Mexico and California hate the Grand Canyon State. And yesterday the LA City Council voted to ban the majority of official travel to Arizona and a hold on contracts with companies there. [LAT]

This couple waited two months for a power pole to be installed on their land, and decided to celebrate its erection with skydivers, a parade, a feast, and a shaman blessing. Not since Festivus has a pole been so venerated.

Here is noted Bat-man Val Kilmer, looking absolutely ridiculous, hanging out at the New Mexico House of Representatives today, for unknown reasons. [NewMexicoIndependent]

Gallup, New Mexico mayor Harry Mendoza saw Gallup newspaper publisher Bob Zollinger in a parking lot and what happened? Yes, they got in a fistfight. "Mendoza told police that Zollinger started poking him in the chest hitting his pacemaker."