Rise up—it's Tanning Salon Tax Day! All across America, men and women are being persecuted for their choice of skin tone by that commie Barack Obama. Hands off our tan lines, and pass the Banana Boat© spf 0!

It's easy to make fun of New Jersey, the state affectionately known as the "Armpit of America." You can't make left turns, the whole place smells like a diaper, and that show? Yeah. But some proud residents are fighting back.

Finally giving validation to decades worth of Jersey jokes, a new Quinnipiac University poll (all they do up there is poll, all day long) says that 75% of Jerseyites are "dissatisfied" with the state of things in their, uh, state.

One of MTV's favorite guidettes, Sammi Giancola, won't face charges for punching a girl in a Miami club. Prosecutors said they don't go after perps once they have left the county. Finally, someone is safe after fleeing to New Jersey.

Great, now our nation is under attack by memes. Carlos Almonte, the wannabe New Jersey Jihadist arrested last week on his way to Somalia, was previously Internet famous for his funny sign.

Teresa Giudice, the Real Housewife of New Jersey who is $11 million in debt, is selling the enormous novelty house that's been featured like a funny sidekick on her show these past two seasons. For $3.99m, it can be yours.

Last night's "My Super Sweet 9-Year-Old Birthday" edition of The Real Housewives of New Jersey showed us how real Jersey girls are made. Some parents wouldn't even consider a Power Wheels, and this girl gets an ATV.

As of July 1st 'medical marijuana' (sarcastic inverted commas ours) will be legal in New Jersey. Some Jerseyites are leaving their dull careers, taking classes in pot selling and girding themselves for the rush.

Super Bowl XLVIII will be at the new, open-air Meadowlands Stadium in New Jersey. Way to ruin it for everyone, NFL. Now the big game will be about frostbite instead of leeching off an expense account in a warm climate.

Yes, women like to talk a lot, especially on the phone. But Real Housewives of New Jersey's Teresa took being a "chatty cathie" to new levels when she spent her time in labor on her cell phone.

Thanks to MTV's guido drama Jersey Shore, business in the town of Seaside Heights, NJ is gearing up for a record-breaking summer. All that talk about how bad the show is for the shore's image? Fuggedaboutit.

Ever seen Garden State? Remember that scene where they're at the mansion and they go swimming in the pool and Zach Braff says some cheesy stuff? That mansion is for sale! We spoke to the Italian countess who owns it.

There are few things funnier than bureaucratic mix-ups that result in vulgar things appearing on official documents. Today brings two hilarious DMV mistakes which resulted in "biotch" and "eat ass" on a license plate and a driver's license, respectively!

According to reports, the owner of the establishment closed up shop a few weeks ago and that's when he started feuding with the man who owns the building. Still no word on which party might have set the gas cans to explode. One thing's for certain, though: This isn't doing anything to improve New Jersey's Sopranos-style reputation.

New York, you are about to get a very rich neighbor. Here is a $16.5 million mega-mansion in Montclair, NJ with sweeping views of the Manhattan skyline, a tunnel, theater, pool, hot tub, and its very own website.

This week Jersey nightlife magazine Steppin' Out features Michelle Bombshell in a Sicilian widow costume that came from a plastic bag at a Halloween store. This isn't even its best work. A walk down memory lane with America's trashiest publication.

Jersey Shore has always been guilty of being a guilty pleasure, but now the producers of the MTV show are being sued for supposedly running a "criminal enterprise," because they're "profiting" off of castmembers' fights.

With all the reality television in the state, the people that used to be punchlines are now stars! Jersey Shore, Jeserylicious, Jersey Couture, Real Housewives of NJ—we can't even keep track of which we're supposed to hate anymore.

New Jersey governor Chris Christie didn't release his tax return yesterday. He says he filed for an extension, but he didn't release the extension form. What is he hiding? (Probably a delicious foot-long hoagie.) [Via, Pic: AP]

Bruce Springsteen is so Jersey, he met his alleged mistress at a gym, where he would stand behind her on the treadmill and watch her "nicest ass" churn, according to court papers from the woman's divorce.