A grand jury handed down a 15-count indictment today for Dharun Ravi, the former Rutgers student accused of livestreaming 18-year-old roommate Tyler Clementi's gay liaisons on the internet. The event preceded Clementi's suicide.

Panasonic's North American headquarters are currently located in Secaucus, New Jersey. Today, the company plans to sign a lease to move its headquarters ten miles down the road to Newark, New Jersey. Why? Because the state of New Jersey paid them more than $100 million (in the form of tax breaks) to do so.

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is signing a proclamation today naming famous sobbing four-year-old Jesse Koczon Honorary Governor of New Jersey. "Honorary"? He wants the real job, Sandwiches! At least let him decapitate a few dozen unionized teachers.

After reported attempts to abduct female students at Rider University and The College of New Jersey, Tony Kadyhrob—who looks like Christopher Walken but is just a guy from Lawrence, NJ—has taken his creepy sideshow to Princeton. He's an upwardly mobile wannabe kidnapper?

Quiz time! Is the gentleman pictured on the left actor Christopher Walken sporting a new mustache? Or is it one Tony A. Kadyhrob, accused of harrassing and attempting to abduct college students at a variety of New Jersey colleges?

Former Rep. John Adler of New Jersey, a one-term Democratic congressman who lost his seat last November, has died. Adler, who was 51, had undergone emergency heart surgery last month for staph bacterial endocarditis.

Bruce Springsteen looks pretty good for 61, doesn't he? Not that it stops him from doing classic old-dude stuff, like writing letters to the editor of his local paper—which he did this week. The Boss' letter was not, however, about how the lady at Wal-Mart said "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" (though give him 15 years)—it was a letter of commendation for the Asbury Park Press' front-page story on poverty and budget cuts:

Is it possible to assign a dollar value to a specific person? Duh, yes, Rutgers University just did it: Jersey Shore's Snooki is worth $32,000 and Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison is worth $30,000.

Three-year-old Jesse is crying because he's sick of being told he's too small to be the governor of New Jersey. I mean, he's already got the proper education under his belt...or so he claims. His first order of duty seems to be raising property taxes.

Poor three-year-old Jesse here can't stop sobbing in the car ride home, because people keep telling him that he's too small to be governor of New Jersey. By current New Jersey gubernatorial size standards, he is absolutely too small. But can't somebody make an exception? This passionate kid is volunteering to be governor of New Jersey, one of the worst jobs in America. Maybe he can temporarily fill in the next time Sandwiches runs off to Disney World. [via Buzzfeed]

Marilyn Leisz can't close her eyes even when she sleeps, and she was in a New Jersey court yesterday suing her plastic surgeon Paul Parker, because she claims this is the result of a cosmetic eye surgery gone bad.

The blanket of fine white powder covering Englewood, New Jersey, wasn't anthrax, it was fallout from a flour silo at a wholesale bakery that blew its top. The last time we scored some white powder from New Jersey it was some grade-A shit, so we have high hopes that this is the finest flour in the land.

A group of teens who were attending a Fort Lee, NJ house party over the weekend were put in a police van by officers busting the fabulous fete and then just... forgotten about. The kids were only let out, after a miserable twelve hours, because a passerby heard them screaming and banging on the windows.

Some guy from New Jersey is auctioning off a New York phone number with a "coveted" 212 area code on eBay with a Buy It Now price of $1 million. Who on earth is terrible enough to pay that? No one, hopefully. But "Carmen" is giving it a shot! He explained how people's insecurities will make him rich to the Daily News:

Michael Mustica, a 22-year-old tire salesman from New Jersey, kicked off his Atlantic City vacation in style last October by drinking two and a half cans of alcoholic energy drink Four Loko and falling asleep. Little did he know that when he woke up, things would never be the same!

Right now, tweens in New Jersey who send "suggestive photos" to their "bffs" can be prosecuted as sex offenders. And even though this makes perfect sense, and is a productive way for the state to teach adolescents that the expression of sexuality is a deeply harmful thing, pervert lawmakers are attempting to stop it with a new bill. Yes, New Jersey may soon be the Amsterdam of sexting:

So, it turns out that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is kind of a humungous liar, as The New York Times catalogs extensively in a front-page article in Thursday's paper. Not that anyone cares!

We already know that super-popular Republican New Jersey Governor Chris Christie could totally beat Barack Obama in an election for President of the United States. But could he also beat Obama in a race for President of Sexiness? A recent town hall suggests this. From the AP:

Hoboken, New Jersey gets notoriously rowdy during its annual St. Patrick's Day parade, and last weekend was no different. The city basically became a giant frat party: There was excessive drinking, puking, fighting, 34 arrests, and reports of sexual assaults. From the Times:

It's been a little while since we last checked in on the good Governor Sandwiches of New Jersey, Chris Christie, but he's suddenly become the most popular Republican in the country! And all it took was a few choreographed YouTubes of him screaming at teachers' unions, with his sleeves rolled up (crucially). So why won't he run for president already? Republican operatives, who hate all of the other candidates, demand it.