Chris Christie, America's fattest governor, has been not running for president for the past 49 years. At a 1 p.m. press conference today, he is expected to rock the political landscape with an announcement that, going forward, he will persist in that long-standing strategy and maintain his status as a not-running-for-president person.
It seems there was a surprise visit during a recent taping of Real Housewives of New Jersey. New cast member Melissa Gorga had a run-in with her old boss from Lookers, a strip club. Yooops!
It was 41 years ago that convicted murderer George Wright helped hijack a plane bound for Miami, took it to Algeria and vanished. Authorities announced today they've found him hiding out in a Portuguese resort town under the name Jose Luis Jorge Dos Santos.
Which Republican politician's turn is it next to be summoned into the presidential race and then immediately dismissed and hated by the party base over a pragmatic policy stance or two? Perhaps the good Governor Sandwiches of New Jersey, Chris Christie, who still has no interest in running for president but may be kidnapped in the middle of the night by a few whiny hedge fund managers and reprogrammed (forced at gunpoint) into "taking the plunge."
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie (who will be played by the talking trash heap from Fraggle Rock in his biopic) found out he is allowed to veto a $420,000 tax credit the New Jersey Economic Development Authority gave Jersey Shore to film in the state. He might do exercise that right. What a stupid idea.
A New Jersey woman sued her employer after being told to remove her deceased daughter's ballet slippers and photo from her cubicle and to also pretend like the girl "did not exist." Whoah, harsh! But perfectly legal, said the court presiding over her case.
Wha—? Maybe—? No, I have no idea, I'm not going to bother trying to evaluate. This surreal video apparently shows a pair of National Guard trucks driving down the street in Manville, NJ, fully submerged in water. At the end of the video, camo-uniformed guardsmen climb out the windows and onto the vehicles' roofs. As the increasingly annoying cameraman wonders, "How is that possible?"
While some television reporters bravely ate toxic sea bile and stayed strong in the midst of surprise penis invasions while reporting from the front-lines of the Irene War, others were frightened by the very thought of hurricane-tainted waters. Watch as this reporter, embedded in Asbury Park, N.J. and decked out in what appears to be a full-body weatherproof suit, runs from the puniest of ocean waves. Whoah! Let's get out of here!
This morning the "eye wall" of Hurricane Irene reached land just east of Cape Lookout in North Carolina—sweeping away dunes, flooding beaches, destroying a pier in kinda-nearby Atlantic Beach, and causing power outages. The old girl's not as strong as we thought she'd be, though! The latest, with updates below.
The clock is ticking as residents along the East Coast prepare to suffer the wrath of Hurricane Irene. Will it actually be as bad as everyone is saying? As you can see from these photos, lots of people are taking the "better safe than sorry" approach. So fire up your "Come on Irene" jokes (if you're the sort of person who would make one of those), board up all the windows, and prepare to loot your nearest grocery store. Irene is upon us!
There are states of emergency all up-and-down the East Coast.
The "Stop Shootin Music Toy Gun Exchange" today in crime-riddled Newark, New Jersey—which allowed kids to turn in toy guns in exchange for a nonviolent toy or book—went off without a hitch, except for the gunfire that erupted a few blocks away while the event was going on, thanks to a man "accidentally shooting and injuring himself."
Former New Jersey Assemblyman Pat Delany abruptly quit his job last month, citing "personal issues with my family that require my full and immediate attention." Only now are we learning that that personal issue was his wife sending a "racially tinged" email to Olympic hero and current New Jersey state Senate candidate Carl Lewis. It could've been something worse, we guess? Maybe not.
"Xanadu" was the original name of a plan dreamed up by Satan to blight the earth, in the form of an outrageously large, atrociously garish, criminally expensive, and blatantly unwanted shopping mall in New Jersey, Satan's earthly dominion. It costs nearly $4 billion! It's been in the process of being built for eight years! And it's still not finished, because nobody wants it! So... why don't you pay for it?
Thanks to the New York State Legislature, gay marriages are all the rage right now, but someone might want to tell the owner of Here Comes the Bride, a bridal shop in Somers Point, on the Jersey Shore (the actual shore, not the show). She just refused to sell a lesbian a wedding dress.
Hundreds of pages of documents relating to the suicide of Rutgers student Tyler Clementi were released today, and, well, if you thought the story of a gay college freshman jumping off the George Washington bridge after his roommate set up a spy cam in their dorm room couldn't get any more unbelievably sad and tragic... think again.
The latest to join the ever-growing ranks of elected officials who have resigned after sending naked pictures of themselves over the internet is New Jersey freeholder Louis Magazzu. Really, buddy, there was absolutely no reason for you to quit.
