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With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, you can either purchase a heart-shaped Whitman's sampler and plop chocolate after chocolate into your face in a bitter party-of-one feeding frenzy, or do what we do: Give yourself over to romance! And what better way to accomplish this than by sending out these Law & Order: Special Victim's Unit-themed cards ($10 for the whole set) to the many objects of your affection. Yes, they might be mildly put off when they tear open the envelope and first catch a glimpse of the stars of the sex crime-specific detective series staring back out at them, but in the end, who could deny Richard Belzer's adorable mug, especially when paired with his playful salutation: "HEY CUTIE!"

UPDATE: A reader informs us that they aren't taking any more orders for the SVU cards; your sweethearts will just have to settle for another year of lovelorn locomotives "choo-choo-choosing" them.