Congratulations are in order for ABC, the network deemed marginally less lily-white than its borderline-albino broadcast rivals in a television diversity report just released by Multi-Ethnic Media Coalition. Behind the leadership of televisionary Steve McPherson—an executive unafraid to crack some skulls when his shows begin to lag behind their diversity benchmarks—and hits like Ugly Betty, ABC easily triumphed over competition that was either satisfied to maintain the Caucasian status quo or backslide further into the alabaster void:

In a move that would further reinforce perfectly storming NBC co-chairman Ben Silverman's programming philosophy that it's much easier to clone a proven hit than waste a lot of time generating untested "new ideas," TVGuide.com reports that the network is planning a spin-off of The Office, a show the Peacock has already supersized to within an inch of its life with the hourlong episodes that kicked off the first few weeks of this season:

Perhaps hoping to avert an ugly incident in which obsolescent Tonight Show host Jay Leno makes a last-ditch effort to save his job by chaining himself to his desk while wrecking balls emblazoned with a cheerful peacock logo demolish his beloved Burbank studio, NBC Universal boss Jeff Zucker reasserted yesterday that the show will be handed over to Conan O'Brien as planned, recent intimations that Leno isn't quite ready for early retirement notwithstanding:

NBC Universal Integrated Media president Beth Comstock explains to the attendees of the 2007 American Magazine Conference in lovely Boca Raton that modern media consumers are all either fat losers embarrassing themselves before the nation in the comfort of their living rooms or underaged MySpace camwhores.

NBC Universal CEO Jeff Zucker again denied rumors of a possible sale of the company by parent General Electric. Zucker noted that GE chief Jeff Immelt "has said numerous times that NBCU is not for sale." Sort of like NBC's new fall season on iTunes. [Reuters]

You'll recall NBC's noisy departure from Apple's iTunes store in August. First we heard the problem was that NBC had asked Apple to raise per-episode prices to $2.99. Then, we heard Apple advocated cutting prices to 99 cents a show, arguing that volume would make up for lost profits. Now, NBC Universal CEO Jeff Zucker reveals he misplayed the negotiations even more than we could have imagined. He asked for a piece of Apple's iPod hardware sales.

"Apple has destroyed the music business... If we don't take control on the video side, they'll do the same [there]." NBC Universal Chief Jeff Zucker. Sure. If by "destroyed," you mean "saved from complete irrelevance." [JupiterResearch]

· NBC Universal boss Jeff Zucker whines that his company wasn't making much money from iTunes downloads of its TV shows, and that the control-freaky Apple wouldn't allow him to "experiment" with raising the prices for one of its series. Also, the greedy Apple is apparently to blame for denying them revenue they would then immediately share with their beloved partners in content creation, their writers: "Apple sold millions of dollars worth of hardware off the back of our content and made a lot of money. They did not want to share in what they were making off the hardware or allow us to adjust pricing." [Variety]
· The feds are sending a nanny to tomorrow's contract negotiation session to make sure that WGA and AMPTP play nice in the final moments before a possible strike. [THR]

Ellen DeGeneres promises to liven up the Deal or No Deal proceedings when she makes a guest appearance on the hit NBC game show. But unlike past guests, like Donald "The Banker" Trump and Celine "Open Da Case!" Dion, the canine-regifter will join the show's Pyramid of Hot Briefcasemodels. TVGuide.com reports:

Despite some all-night conference calls prior to launch, online-video site Hulu did not collapse prior to opening its doors for business. But keep refreshing. Despite pleasant early reviews of the sites service — people are variously describing its service as "really slick" and "very nice" — NBC and News Corp.'s joint venture is in trouble. Why?

Dwight, the detestable lackey of NBC's The Office, has ventured into Second Life. "Second Life is not a game," he testily declares. Exactly. A game would be, y'know, fun. We hope Chris Anderson of Wired watched this episode.

Somebody bring Steve "sexy-calves" Chen back from Hong Kong. Things are getting ugly. And by things, I mean YouTube, which is previewing a redesign of its site that features drop-down menus and a new "look" (ugly) and "feel" (greased enamel?). NBC and News Corp.'s online-video joint venture Hulu may be months late and its launch team probably just got off another all-night conference call, but the site isn't out of the game yet. Not if the YouTube redesign team keeps screwing up Hulu's competition.

The website for Hulu, NBC and News Corp.'s online-video joint venture, looks pretty. But the reality of getting ready for next week's launch? Very messy. A tipster tells us that a dozen members of the Hulu launch team are stuck on an agonizing "all-night" conference call. Also on the call: Executives from distribution partners including AOL and Yahoo. The topic of discussion? No doubt the fact that the site, days away from launch, isn't quite ready. Poor, unlucky souls. No wonder their old-media colleagues have nicknamed them "Hulusers." And I suppose that makes the videos on the YouTube-notgonnabe website Huluser-generated content.

· Ron Howard and Akiva Goldsman are frantically finalizing the shooting script of Da Vinci Code sequel Angels & Demons before the Oct. 31st deadline, hoping that the mad rush towards production won't jeopardize the duo's ability to produce the kind of easily digestible, crowd-pleasing entertainment that always results from their lucrative collaborations. Meanwhile, star Tom Hanks has been presented with a hair-growing schedule that will barely provide the actor with enough time to reproduce his character's signature demi-mullet. Truly, no one is immune from the pressures of the looming™ strike. [Variety]
· In what is always a good sign for a floundering series, The Bionic Woman gets another new showrunner, not even two months after "creative differences" ended NBC's short-lived love affair with Glen Morgan. [THR]

Word is that NBC and News Corp. will finally launch video site Hulu, its long-overdue response to YouTube, on Monday, October 29, making its self-imposed deadline of the end of October by two days. Never mind that it was originally supposed to launch on September 24, but CEO Jason Kilar begged for more time. Two days early, or 35 days late? On TV, it's all in how you spin it. [TechCrunch]

· Attempting to keep vital a love affair they began back on the set of Gangs of New York, director Martin Scorcese and still-boyish muse Leonardo DiCaprio will reteam once again on Shutter Island, an adaptation of a Dennis Lehane novel about a U.S. Marshal investigating the disappearance of a dangerous crazy lady in the 1950s. [Variety]
· ABC picks up the back nine episodes for this season of Pushing Daisies, bringing their order to a full 22 hours of beautifully shot, expensively produced whimsy. You know, unless the writers fulfill the networks' secret wish to wipe out the rest of the TV season. [THR]
· ABC's Samantha Who? posts another "solid" Nielsen performance on Monday night, while NBC's Heroes set a new series low. Also: Dancing with the Stars wins the night behind Marie Osmond's dramatic fainting spell, leading producers to plan a stunt in which Jennie Garth will suffer an orchestrated, on-camera ankle fracture on next week's show. [Variety]

NewTeeVee confirms Valleywag's report from the weekend that NBC has pulled its YouTube channel. The reason, as we suggested, is the incipient launch of Hulu, NBC's unfortunately named joint venture with News Corp. A YouTube flack, almost a day after we posted our story, emailed this tired statement that she's graciously allowing us to attribute to spokesman Ricardo Reyes, even though we doubt he had anything to do with this limp piece of prose:

NBC Universal has quietly pulled the official channel on YouTube the two companies established last June. Of course, that was a long time ago, in Internet years, and the relationship had run its course. NBC got buzz for a revived Saturday Night Live and The Office, and YouTube, through the sheen of legitimacy NBC gave it, got a $1.65 billion buyout. With NBC set to launch its own video site, the laughably named Hulu, the pulling of the YouTube plug was just a matter of time. Speaking of time: Could this move be a sign that Hulu, scheduled for "private beta" testing this month, is finally ready?

Even though yesterday's Hollywood Radio and TV Society luncheon and panel discussion has to be declared an overall disappointment because NBC perfect storm Ben Silverman and combative ABC president Steve McPherson, appearing together for the first time since McPherson challenged the network rival who took his best buddy's job to "be a man," failed to come to the blows the assembled journalists not-so-secretly hoped for, director/producer Barry Sonnenfeld did earn positive notices ("One of the HRTS' more lively moderators in recent memory!" raves Variety) for his hosting work at the event. THR compiles a greatest hits package of Sonnenfeld's attempts at comic relief: