Conan O'Brien is considered one of the big losers of Jay Leno's decision to stay on at NBC, because Jay will eat up his audience, steal his guests, and keep him out of the spotlight. How did Conan handle the issue last night? With a simple bit involving newspapers that is way funnier than anything Jay Leno's slackjawed writing staff has ever come up with. Click to watch Conan's moral victory.

So, the new Jay Leno variety hour. Are you dying to learn more about it or what? Ha, network statistics show that you are! Advertisers are also very enthusiastic about the move of the not-quite-funny entertainer into prime time. Perhaps the enthusiasm stems from the fact that Leno now has a mandate that his show not suck quite so much as it currently does. Is this guy trying in vain to rip off the Daily Show, or bring back vaudeville?:

David Letterman's rivalry with Jay Leno goes back more than 15 years, to when Leno outmaneuvered Letterman to host the Tonight Show, a job Letterman deeply coveted. Now Leno has ceded the Tonight Show timeslot to Conan O'Brien (rather than fight him from ABC), and accepted to a proffer from network suits to move to 10 pm to make a (still amorphous) show 1/10th the cost of a primetime drama and less likely to be TiVoed. And Letterman isn't about to miss the chance to get in a few digs about how this makes Leno a capitulating loser. (Video after the jump.)

You have to hand it to Jimmy Fallon: He dispensed with the inevitable topic of being called a "douchebag" on the internet (by this guy apparently) very quickly, in the second "webisode" for his forthcoming Late Night. You can totally see the joke coming, but at least he's trying this time! And he's tripled the runtime to four and a half minutes. Which is plenty. Seriously, it's fine. Really. Enough. (Video after the jump.)

The collective shrug over a possible SAG strike gathered a few more shoulders today, with representatives for Hollywood's influential Party Planning Mafia acknowledging that no labor impasse (or recession, for that matter) will prevent it from restoring the Golden Globes afterparties to their long-dormant luster. To wit: Press conferences are out, and "plasma screen-outfitted water walls" are in! And that's just for starters.

· Jay Leno explained a bit more about his new primetime show's format: "It won't be necessarily comedy, Kevin Eubanks fake-laughing, comedy, more Kevin Eubanks fake-laughing, first guest, Kevin, second guest, Kevin, music." He went on to explain that he plans on mixing up the parts in the broadcast where he cuts to his band-leader's infectious fake laughter. [THR]
· Sony announced from Tokyo that it would make $1.1 billion in cuts and lay off 16,000 members of its workforce, but miraculously, none of them will affect Sony's movie, gaming and music divisions. [Variety]
· Jennifer Anison and Gerard Butler will star in a romantic comedy for Columbia, about a bounty hunter who has to retrieve his ex-wife for skipping bail. A rep for Aniston said the actress is "just amazed Angelina would have said those things in the press. Who does she think she is? Does it get any less cool?" [Variety]
· SAG's Monday night powwow was just the shot in the arm Alan Rosenberg's self-esteem needed. It was like strike-support Viagra! Any disgruntled thespian takers? He can go all night! [Variety]
· The Sex Drive team of Sean Anders and John Morris are in final negotiations to write and direct Hot Tub Time Machine, the most ribald comedy to use Red Bull as a major plot point since Yes Man. [THR]

Chalk up another victory for the creative class: ABC's obstacle-course competition hit Wipeout will return for two episodes on Super Bowl Sunday, directly challenging both NBC's halftime show featuring Bruce Springsteen and a special postgame edition of The Office. It's the biggest such counterprogramming battle in five years, and as with everything else pertaining to the network these days, the Peacock might be in trouble.

So SAG's fucked. Wait—did we say "fucked?" There we go again—needless doomsday prophesying where Obaman cool-headedness is clearly required. What we meant to say is: "SAG's probably fucked." Yesterday brought a confluence of Pop Culture Doomsday events that not even a walrus blowing like Bird could have foretold:

♦ What recession? Condé Nast is launching a new magazine in the UK. [WWD]
♦ More on the fallout from the Tribune Co. bankruptcy. [NYT]
♦ Yesterday the New York Times revealed plans to mortgage its office building; now it says it's in talks with lenders about upcoming debt payments. [AP]
♦ Jann Wenner has hired a new chief digital officer. [AdAge]
♦ Is the advertising world sexist? Maybe! [HuffPo]
♦ Jay Leno may earn $40-50 million a year for his new gig on NBC. [MP]
♦ NBC still has some Super Bowl ads available, if you're interested. [AdAge]

Jay Leno is moving to 10 p.m., every god damn night of the week! That sure is something. You never realize how many people love Jay Leno until something like this happens (or until you find yourself in a comedy club in Winston-Salem, talking to the owner, Roy). NBC is obviously happy about it—and so is Jay, or he would have taken his middling act elsewhere—but, as in everything in showbiz, some people got screwed in this deal. After the jump, the biggest winners and losers of the Return of the Chin:

Expectations were low for Jimmy Fallon's first "Webisode," and the former Saturday Night Live giggler sure met them! Fallon was sporting a stained t-shirt; he couldn't stop throwing up his hands or touching his head like a spastic spider monkey; the 1:36 runtime was far short of the 5 minute target; over that brief period there were no fewer than eight edited cuts of Fallon on the same sound stage — and a preview of the end of the clip, since it was such a long time away.

With its beloved mascot swirling 'round the toilet, letting out a meager peacock "yorp" as its exhausted claws scratch helplessly at its porcelain confines, there truly was nothing left to come out of NBC HQ today we thought could possibly shock us. We were, of course, hopelessly wrong, as it is now emerging that Jay Leno—the longtime poster boy for NBC mismanagement for the way he was being forced out of his Tonight Show spot at the top of his ratings game—is being given the 10 p.m. slot on the network. Every night of the week.

So Friday afternoon we threw together a little post trying to make sense of a power shakeup at NBC that saw Katherine Pope and a number of other NBC executives nudged out. In our typical, lightly inflammatory reporting-fashion, we headlined it, "Jeff Zucker Sends Out 'You're Fired Unless Your Name Is Ben Silverman' All-Staff NBC Memo." As of today, however, that headline is more or less accurate.

♦ The Tribune Co. is now hovering dangerously close to bankruptcy. [NYT]
♦ Media companies have let 30,000 people go thus far this year. [AdAge]
♦ Christie Hefner is stepping down as CEO of Playboy. [Bloomberg]
♦ It's now official: David Gregory is the new host of Meet the Press. [NYT]
♦ The New York Times Co. says it plans to borrow $225 million against the value of its new office building to "ease a potential cash flow squeeze." [NYT]
♦ More on the changes to NBC's executive ranks last week. [Variety]
♦ Ad agencies are bracing for a round of deep cost cuts. [NYP]
♦ Wowowow.com, the site featuring writing by the likes of Liz Smith and Lesley Stahl, has raised $1.5 million from Bob Pittman, among others. [NYP]
♦ Four Christmases was No. 1 at the box office this weekend for a second week in a row. [Reuters]

People across the political spectrum had mixed feelings about Tim Russert, the recently deceased former host of Meet The Press. But whether you thought he was the toughest interviewer in DC or a toadying cock-gobbler to power, you had to admit that he probably got his job based on a genuine zeal for reporting, rather than because he was some network exec's ideal of a telegenic newsman. Now that David Gregory has taken over the gig, we'll get to see the network-ideal-telegenic-gasbag type in action. Problem one: his insincere self-deprecation skills:

"'They call her the black widow. Every program she touches turns to death,' growled our source. 'She is on very thin ice.'" That was how Page Six described Universal Media Studio President Katherine Pope (pictured) last month in a suspiciously positioned item foisting blame for the network's disastrous string of recent offerings—shows like Bionic Woman, My Own Worst Enemy, Lipstick Librarians, and freshly squeezed lemon Knight Rider—on her fetchingly exposed shoulders. Nikki Finke accuses Silverman of having leaked the items himself ("that's one of the fringe benefits of his selling his Reveille to Elisabeth Murdoch and yachting with her this summer") in her analysis of today's shakeup that saw not just Pope's exit, but that of NBC Entertainment EVP Teri Weinberg, as well. (Weinberg was the D-girl Silverman brought over from Reveille who was later discovered in the compromising position technically referred to in the business as shtupping your showrunner. Because no one ever fucks anyone they work with in Hollywood—ever.)

Yesterday's 500 layoffs at NBC Universal would have been a bigger story if not for the 850 layoffs at Viacom on the same day. CNBC—which is currently the go-to media outlet for the economic story of a generation—may have talked its way out of trouble (a bit). The Post says CNBC had 55 layouts yesterday, rather than the 80 that were predicted. And they've wisely shut down their most superfluous show:

As you may have already heard, a staggering 850 people were laid off from Viacom today. Torrents of blood washed down the halls of MTV on both coasts, with added security in wading boots posted on every floor for "observation" (translation: making sure downsized employees don't try to swipe a promotional copy of Trivial Pursuit: TRL Edition on their way out of the building).

♦ Anna Wintour has responded to rumors she's leaving Condé Nast: "I have no plans to leave American Vogue now or in the foreseeable future." [NYO]
♦ Chris Matthews could be seriously considering quitting MSNBC to run for Senate. Or he could be using it as a negotiating tactic. [Politico]
♦ The Grammy noms were announced last night, in case you missed it. [AP]
♦ NBC has halted production of Knight Rider. [THR]
♦ More on the changes afoot at Random House. [NYO]
♦ ABC will air Homeland Security USA, a reality show produced in cooperation with the Department of Homeland Security, in January. Really. [NYT]

It's ugly out there today, isn't it? Viacom announced this morning that it plans to eliminate 850 positions, cuts that will take place "broadly" across the conglomerate's portfolio of media properties. NBC Universal followed up with the news it's slashing 1,350 positions. Credit Suisse revealed plans to pink-slip 5,300 people. DuPont said it would cut its payrolls by 2,500 people. And AT&T took the cake today with the announcement that some 12,000 employees will be on their own in the near future. If your boss asks to speak with you for "a moment" in the privacy of the conference room today, don't forget to bring tissues with you. [CNN, Dow Jones, WSJ]