• It's all over for Dan Rather and his long-running legal campaign against CBS. A state appeals court dismissed the ex-anchor's lawsuit today. [Reuters, NYP]
• At least four parties are still in the bidding for BusinessWeek. But Bloomberg LP remains the most likely acquirer of the struggling magazine. [BW, Reuters]
• An "unbelievably conscientious" Sarah Palin has finishing her memoir in less than four months. You can not buy the book beginning on November 17. [WP]
• Michelle Obama will appear as guest on Sesame Street's season debut. [NYT]
• TLC announced today it's dropping Jon Gosselin from Jon & Kate Plus 8. This news calls out for name change, obvs, so it'll be Kate Plus 8 from now on. [THR]

Funnyman Jay Leno "cracked" (call me, Jay) some "jokes" last night about Conan O'Brien's head injury. Maybe Conan knocked himself out just so he wouldn't have to watch Jay Leno, on NBC television! That's as funny as the actual jokes.

We've gotten most of the new series premieres out of the way, and a funny thing happened—most of them are doing pretty well. What does all this mean?

Conan's no barbarian. The late night host hit his keppe on Friday when taping a stunt for The Tonight Show with Teri Hatcher. He got a concussion and went to the hospital. What?

• More on the financial difficulty facing Harvey and Bob Weinstein: The studio has blown through $1.2 billion to date and now needs to come up with another $50 million. Or magically produce a string of hits at the box office. [WSJ, LAT]
• Despite rumors to the contrary, Condé Nast may shut down several of its magazines as part of its latest—and steepest—round of budget cuts. [WWD]
• Ebony magazine is struggling and now hunting for a buyer. [Newsweek]
• NBC is "under assault from all sides," opines Jon Friedman. [Marketwatch]
• A series of cast changes are planned for the various Law & Orders. [THR]
• Is the new TV season really buzzy, or it just the Twitter effect? [NYT]
• Warner Music will be putting its music videos back on YouTube. [AdAge]
• Holly Madison of E!'s Girls Next Door is getting her own reality show. And socialite Tinsley Mortimer's CW show is moving ahead. [NYDN, THR]
• Jerry Seinfeld's new reality show is casting neurotic couples in Brooklyn. [DI]
• Jenna Bush's new Today show gig is pretty cushy, apparently. [Page2Live]

Look, Rush Limbaugh ran over a carboard cutout of Al Gore, in an electric car, and then he backed up and did it again! COMEDY! AT TEN O'CLOCK! HAVE YOU EVER IN YOUR LIFE SEEN SUCH A THING??

Well, Jim and Pam, possibly the blandest characters in sitcom history, have set a date. The episode where The Office characters tie the knot is October 8. Does that mean we have to hear about it until then?

And neither has his audience! Last night he featured two tired bits from '90s punchline Pee Wee Herman. What's next, dancing Itos? Even the new talent he's found is spectacularly unfunny. Oh, and he just discovered gentrification in Harlem!

Though there were signs that it wasn't going to last after the first year, we stuck around, willing to work hard to keep the love alive. However, after three long years, it's finally over. We're not tuning in anymore.

• Rumor has it Condé Nast isn't going to shutter several of its money-losing magazines like Details and Teen Vogue, after all. But the budget review that's taken place in recent weeks seems to have "scared fiscal responsibility into some of the highest-rolling titles at the glitzy empire." This means Graydon Carter won't be making it to London or Milan Fashion Week, sadly. [NYP]
• Irving Kristol, the godfather of neo-conservatism, is dead at 89. [AP]
• Oprah has picked the next big best-seller. The latest pick for her book club is a set of short stories by Uwem Akpa called Say You're One of Them. [NYDN]
• After a 72-year run, Guiding Light's final episode aired today. [Reuters]
• CNBC has canceled Dennis Kneale's 8pm show on the network. [NYO]
• The Emmy Awards take place this Sunday. Who's going to win? If you watched last year's telecast, you may already have the answers. [WP]

• Glenn Beck is Time magazine's cover boy this week, sadly. [Time, HuffPo]
• Spike Lee and Robert De Niro are teaming up with Showtime "to develop a drama series about Manhattan's Alphabet City." [THR]
• Twitter is now worth $1 billion, believe it or not. [TechCrunch]
• Nikki Finke hears that Variety is planning to start charging for access to its website and The Hollywood Reporter is dropping its daily print edition. [DHD]
• Jenna Bush made her debut on the Today show this morning. [BS]
• An update how Jay Leno's new show is faring three days in. [NYT]
• An update on the protracted legal battle between CBS and ex-anchor Dan Rather, a feud that only "seems to get pettier by the day." [TDB]
• Fox 5's Ernie Anastos managed to both embarrass himself and coin a delightful new catchphrase on the news last night. [Gawker, NYP, B&C]

• As expected, ratings for Jay Leno's new show are falling fast. [THR]
• Bloomberg LP appears to now be in the lead to buy BusinessWeek. [NYP]
• Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol sold 1 million copies its first day. [NYT]
• Don't try to talk to Vogue publisher Tom Florio about what changes are in store for the mag now that those McKinsey consultants have finished their review. (He's not talking about it.) Meantime, McKinsey's final report will be handed over to Condé Nast's management next week. [NYO, WWD]
• Fox News boss Roger Ailes collected $24 million in compensation last year, which is $2 million more than his boss, Rupert Murdoch, took home. [BW]
• Jay-Z has his 11th No. 1 album. That puts him ahead of Elvis Presley as the solo artist with the most chart-toppers. But he's still behind the Beatles. [LAT]

Kanye West wasn't the only person who squirmed thanks to the primetime premiere of The Jay Leno Show. 17.7 million people tuned in for the unfunniest hour since on network TV since Bush's last State of the Union.

Everyone is paying attention to NBC's bold prime time experiment, which kicks off tonight. Many are waiting for Leno to fail so let's throw some digital spitballs at him.

• The bad news for Condé Nast now that McKinsey has finished up its summer-long review: Editors and publishers at the company may be asked to trim their budgets by as much as 25 percent. The good news, according to one Condé insider: "This doesn't mean Anna Wintour is going to start taking the bus," nor is the company going to get all cheap "like Hachette." [Crain's]
• Jay Leno's new show debuts tonight on NBC. Will it be a success? A massive failure? Only time will tell, but the stakes "couldn't be higher." [LAT]
• Oprah's ratings are down. And Barack Obama is to blame, apparently. [AP]
• Ratings are down for Project Runway, too. Barack is not to blame. [WWD]
• According to a poll of newspaper publishers, 51 percent think they can successfully get their readers to pay for content online. Optimistic! [PC]
• As if newspapers and magazines don't have enough to worry about these days, a new survey finds that the percentage of people who think journalists are increasingly "inaccurate and biased" is on the rise. [AP]

• Today's awkward cable moments: CNN reported this morning that the Coast Guard opened fire on a boat on the Potomoc. (Not true.) And the geniuses at MSNBC thought it would be a really neat idea to once again commemorate 9/11 by re-airing its coverage from the fateful morning. Thanks, guys.
• Fran Drescher is in discussions to host a Fox News show. No joke. [USN]
• President Obama sits down with Steve Kroft on Sunday's 60 Minutes. [CBS]
• A long list of media figures turned out for Dominick Dunne's memorial service yesterday at Church of Saint Vincent Ferrer on the UES. [NYT, WWD]
• Anna Wintour is "bigger than ever," at least according to Tina Brown. [TDB]
• Obits: Larry Gelbart, the man who developed the TV series MASH and co-wrote Tootsie, is dead at 81. And Frank Batten Sr., the man responsible for bringing the Weather Channel into the world, is dead at 82.
• As if Twitter wasn't inundated with enough self-promotion as it is, the company now says it plans to start accepting advertising. [Reuters]

• Tyra Banks is launching a web-based magazine. Tyra: Beauty Inside & Out will feature an "audio 'manifesto' that asks readers to dream big, ignore the haters, celebrate uniqueness and seek the beauty in everything." [WWD]
• James Patterson has signed a 17-book deal with his publisher, Hachette. And all 17 of them will arrive in bookstores before the end of 2012. [AP]
• All the competition online appears to be taking a toll on the Zagat guide series. Sales are down and the company has been laying off staff. [NYP]
• It was a mixed bag for Hollywood studios hoping for a big summer box office. Revenue was up 2 percent, but attendance fell 2 percent, too. [NYT]
• The Final Destination and Inglourious Bastards came in at No. 1 and 2 at the box office this weekend, beating out a handful of newcomers. [LAT]
• Following in the footsteps of the Wall Street Journal and New York Times, USA Today is the latest newspaper to launch an online "wine club." [E&P]

Ad agencies and network executives have long decried the the digital age's assault on commercials and, thus, revenue. And now they're forced to adapt, a move that brings writers into the fold and gives product placement an even bigger spotlight.

• NBC plans to deliver its programming to gas stations. So if you don't tune into Jay Leno voluntarily, you may be forced to do so while you pump gas. [MC]
• Mad Men has been renewed for a fourth season, not surprisingly. [NYT]
• Freedom Communications, the company that publishes the Orange County Register, among other newspapers, has filed for bankruptcy protection [E&P]
• Magazines are having trouble selling copies on newsstands, so now they're going to focus on getting you to sign up for subscriptions. [NYT]
• Don't be surprised when you see Tony Bourdain whip out his Chase Visa card to pay for meals on his Travel Channel show. It's now part of his job. [AdAge]
• The show goes on for Plum TV, the "resort and luxury lifestyle TV network." The company just raised another $5 million from investors. [PC]
• Rachel Maddow says she had swine flu! But she went to the doctor, got "the special swine flu drugs," and is all better now, thankfully. [HP]

• Get ready for the Spider-Man ride at Disney World: Walt Disney has agreed to pay $4 billion in cash and stock to acquire Marvel Entertainment. [NYT, WSJ]
• Because she was clearly the very best person for the job, Jenna Bush has signed on with the Today show. The daughter of the former president will be contributing stories "about once a month on issues like education." [THR]
• The Final Destination was No. 1 at the box office this weekend with a $28.3 million take; Inglourious Basterds came in No. 2 with $20 million. [THR]
• Newsstand magazine sales continue to fall. Single-copy sales fell 12 percent during the first half of the 2009 compared to the same period in 2008. [AP]
• NBC's new slogan for its fall marketing campaign? "More colorful." [Variety]