Though Natalie Portman earned an Oscar nomination for refusing to part with her pasties as a stripper in the film Closer, she's been on a genuinely NSFW tear as of late. First, she stunt doubled for a lithe greyhound and went nude for the Wes Anderson short Hotel Chevalier (pictured), then she dated the frequently penis-nosed troubadour Devendra Banhart, whose liner notes revealed a radical new theory that clothes simply get in the way of a man's natural, patchouli-infused musk. Now, Doubt director John Patrick Shanley reveals that Portman wanted the role in his film that eventually went to Amy Adams, but there was one sexless impediment:

Naomi Watts carrying coffee in the East Village ... Kelly Ripa walking with her kids Lola and Joaquin on the Upper West Side ... Natalie Portman on the set of her film in Central Park ... Katie Holmes kissing Suri outside their apartment ... Uma Thurman participating in Juror Appreciation Day at the New York Supreme Court ... Tyra Banks walking outside ... Stephen Colbert and Twilight actress Kristen Stewart standing outside the Letterman show ... Sarah Jessica Parker walking son James to school in the West Village ... Leighton Meester filming scenes for Gossip Girl outside the Palace Hotel ... Keri Russell walking by herself ... and Salma Hayek sitting on a suitcase on the set of 30 Rock.

Glenn Close walking her dogs in Central Park ... James Gandolfini making faces at photographers outside the Milk after-party at the Bowery Hotel ... Madonna walking on the sidewalk last night ... Natalie Portman carrying her dog and a cup of coffee ... Brooke Shields, Kim Raver, and Lindsay Price filming scenes for Lipstick Jungle on the Upper East Side ... Twilight star Robert Pattinson arriving at JFK ... Katie Holmes leaving her apartment on East 13th and later shopping at Dean & DeLuca with Suri ... and Beyonce unveiling her Seventeen cover at the Hearst building.

Keira Knightley walking in SoHo with her mom ... Natalie Portman filming scenes for her new movie at the Wollman Rink in Central Park ... Carla Bruni and Nicolas Sarkozy walking out of a downtown restaurant ... Penn Badgley carrying takeout from Cafe Habana on Prince Street ... Brooke Shields hailing a cab in the West Village ... Naomi Watts pushing her son's stroller in NoHo ... Robin Williams carrying a Juicy Couture bag in the West Village ... Ed Westwick walking on Chrystie Street ... Emma Thompson posing for photographers outside the Letterman show ... Kid Rock leaving the Trump International Hotel ... and Anna Wintour getting out of a car.

[The actress films a movie in New York yesterday; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Kelly Ripa jogging in Central Park ... John Mayer pulling up to the Bowery Hotel in his Porsche Cayenne ... Natalie Portman sitting down on the set of her new film ... Leighton Meester on the set of a new ad campaign for Reebok ... Philip Seymour Hoffman walking home after having brunch in SoHo ... Russell Brand leaving the Four Seasons hotel on East 57th Street ... Salma Hayek and daugher Valentina standing on the set of 30 Rock ... Debra Messing walking down Madison Avenue ... Katie Holmes leaving her apartment in the East Village ... Jessica Alba filming scenes for her new movie in the Bronx ... and Justin Timberlake arriving at Dos Caminos for the SNL afterparty, which Jennifer Aniston attended, too.

John Mayer shopping at Paragon Sports on Broadway and later leaving Gold Bar in SoHo with Jennifer Aniston (left) ... Jeff Daniels riding around town on a tiny bike ... Miley Cyrus arriving at the Sirius studios in Midtown for an appearance on Howard Stern's show ... Matthew Broderick walking son James to school in the West Village ... Regis Philbin and Don Rickles arriving at ABC's studios ... Famke Janssen crossing the street with her dog ... Leighton Meester hanging out on the Gossip Girl set ... Katie Holmes talking on her cell phone ... and Natalie Portman leaving her trailer on the set of her new film.

Kate Bosworth checking in for a flight at JFK with boyfriend James Rousseau ... Natalie Portman eating soup on the set of her new movie ... Hugh Jackman leaving the studios of GMA ... Sarah Jessica Parker walking with son James in the West Village ... Frank Gifford leaving ABC studios ... Kate Winslet shopping at YSL ... Alicia Keys standing outside the Letterman show ... Katie Holmes leaving her East Village apartment ... Seth Green, Enrique Iglesias, and David Archuleta posing for pics outside MTV studios in Times Square ... and Fergie sitting in the backseat of a cab.

Rachel Weisz walking by herself downtown ... Liev Schreiber carrying his son Alexander on Lafayette Street ... Natalie Portman on the set of her new film ... Jeff Goldblum leaving ABC studios after an appearance on Regis & Kelly ... Salma Hayek carrying her daughter Valentina ... Ed Westwick walking to the Gossip Girl set in Harlem ... Jamie Oliver, Bill Cosby, Taylor Swift, and Ted Turner posing for photos outside the Letterman show ... Taylor Momsen walking with friends in Greenwich Village ... and Danny DeVito leaving Da Silvano with his kids.

Glamour magazine's annual "Women of the Year" awards took place last night at Carnegie Hall. Honorees like Hillary Clinton, Nicole Kidman, and Tyra Banks were joined by the likes of Debra Messing, Fergie, Natalie Portman, Tinsley Mortimer, America Ferrera, Jane Krakowski, Salman Rushdie, Condoleezza Rice, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Taylor Swift. Click through for a few photos of the event.

[Actress Natalie Portman on the New York set of "Love and Other Impossible Pursuits" today; image via INF]

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel leaving Southern Hospitality on Second Avenue through the back door ... Nicole Kidman getting lunch with a friend in the West Village ... Hilary Duff and boyfriend Mike Comrie arriving at their hotel ... Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts pushing baby Alexander in a stroller ... Natalie Portman taking her dog for a walk in the rain ... Jessica Alba going to dinner at Via dei Mille on West Broadway with daughter Honor and other family members ... Katie Holmes and Suri leaving the Union Square Greenmarket .. Eva Mendes on the set of her new film ... country singer Taylor Swift arriving at her hotel ... Brooke Shields buying toys at FAO Schwarz ... and Keira Knightley and boyfriend Rupert Friend hugging in Central Park.

Natalie Portman walking her dog in the West Village ... A bundled up Scarlett Johansson walking with friends ... Ashanti posing outside the Early Show ... Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts grabbing coffee ... Julianne Moore walking in the East Village ... Ed Westwick leaving a photo shoot for K-Swiss ... Whitney Port standing under an umbrella with a friend ... Jessica Alba on the set of her new film in Brooklyn ... Jessica Szohr trying on clothes at a French Connection store ... country singer Brad Paisley waving outside the Letterman show ... Kate Winslet talking on her phone in the meatpacking district ... and Katie Holmes and Suri walking under an oversized lady bug umbrella.

Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard leaving their polling precinct yesterday in Park Slope ... Natalie Portman working at an Obama phone bank ... Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick and son James leaving the pollsi in the West Village ... Naomi Watts going to the movies at the Angelika Film Center ... Elisabeth Hasselbeck taking an Election Day jog on the Upper West Side ... Keri Russell walking in Brooklyn with son River ... Jessica Alba on the set of her new movie ... Beth Ostrosky walking her three dogs in Midtown ... Katie Holmes and Suri walking to get pizza at Pie by the Pound on Fourth Avenue ... Eva Mendes on the set of her new movie in Chelsea ... and Paris Hilton arriving at JFK airport to catch a flight back to LA.

· Here's a photo taken just minutes ago of Padmé Amidala, aka Natalie Portman, phone-banking on behalf of Obama. It's not too late! You can still join her on her phone-banking crusade to defeat the evil Empire in these last crucial hours! · So we've been entertaining ourselves around Defamer HQ today by sending fake CNN headlines back and forth, some of which we've collected for you here. They're a lot funnier after you haven't eaten for eight hours and just blogged about human wrecking balls. · We can't guarantee this sticker will get you free Krispy Kremes. In fact, we're pretty sure it wont. [via BoingBoing] · A reader sent in this photo of MTV's John Norris, subject heading: "that wig has to go." That's all we know. · OK—we can't stand this anymore. We need to start watching the returns. Hopefully we'll all be bright, shiny, and happy tomorrow morning. Gawker has quite the liveblog discussion group going on—head over there and contribute your two cents. Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night!

Click to viewBoomp3.com West Hollywood conspiracy theorists have been working around the clock to find an answer to the age old question, "Was Natalie Portman picking out a wedgie or merely scratching her back?" Some believe that the positioning of Portman’s hand made it a quick back scratch. However, another theorist felt it was a wedgie, saying, “I was there and I got a wedgie, too. So I do believe a ghost haunts that particular shopping plaza. A ghost who torments and taunts those who need dry cleaning with vicious wedgies.” [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Having already given up any hope of Jessica Alba and Hayden Panitierre's muzzled tryst persuading young people to get out the vote, Leonardo DiCaprio's Appian Way Productions this week corralled an ensemble including Natalie Portman, Ashton Kutcher, Forest Whitaker, Dustin Hoffman, Halle Berry and scads of others to keep up the fight via reverse psychology. "Don't vote," they implore to America's youth, none more so than Jonah Hill, whose exhortations "The economy's in the toilet. Who gives a shit? I don't care — I've got so much money" and "I've never fought a war on drugs; I've never done shit on drugs besides played Halo 2" have stirred nearly 300,000 viewers since yesterday. We pass it along to you (after the jump) as a public service of our own whether you've already heard the message or plan to vote or not, if only because it never gets old hearing Hill share such intimate ideology. Particularly the part about his 19 kids — who knew? [YouTube]

• Madonna and Alex Rodriguez had a big secret dinner at Dos Caminos Third Avenue in New York. They arrived half an hour apart, sat in the back at a quiet, "alcove-like" table and left by separate exits. Then they denied the Mexican food rendezvous to the press, since Rodriguez's soon-to-be-ex-wife has the crazy idea Madonna sneaks around with A-Rod . But Us Weekly and Page Six each has a source who saw the dinner, so it's basically confirmed.

♦ Natalie Portman has landed a buyer for the three-bedroom apartment at 165 Charles Street that she listed at $6.55 million this summer. [NYP]
♦ The situation at the Plaza is getting worse: Esprit exec Jurgen Friedrich has pulled his fifth-floor spread off the market just a day after listing it for $55 million, which means at least six units at the Plaza have now been taken off the market without a buyer in the past two months. [NYP]
♦ Alson Capital analyst Greg Lyss and his wife Jennifer paid $4.63 million for two fifth-floor units at 190 Riverside Drive. [Cityfile]
♦ Financier Martin Zweig has taken his penthouse at the Pierre off the market, nearly four years after first listing it for $70 million. [NYP]
♦ The price of Leona Helmsley's massive, 40-acre Dunnellen Hall estate in Greenwich has been slashed from from $125 million to (just!) $95 million. [NYP, Christie's]

Until their recent breakup, the unlikely pairing of actress Natalie Portman with scruffy, Manson-resembling troubadour Devendra Banhart had people asking, "What exactly does she see in him?" We tried to explain that starlets love themselves some hairy hippies, but still, the naysayers would not be deterred. Now, Banhart may have provided some insight into the matter with the album art for his upcoming side project, Megapuss. Baring all in a very, very NSFW manner, the folk singer shows off what had until recently been the sole property of one Queen Amidala: