"I clearly miscalculated how popular it would be to show Calvin urinating on a Ford logo," Bill Watterson is rumored to have told his publisher. Indeed. But what of the mythical history of this meme? Finally, someone has a few answers.

Three months after Gun Appreciation Day resulted in several accidental shootings, another gun-advocating event has been marred by gun violence. On Saturday, it was reported that a man died from gun shot wounds suffered at NASCAR's NRA 500 race at Texas Motor Speedway. Late Sunday afternoon, medical investigators ruled the shooting a "self-inflicted injury," saying the man shot himself in his head.

Shannon Carr's late husband, Jason Carr, loved watching NASCAR and the Indianapolis Colts from his favorite couch. So when Jason died two years ago in a car accident, his wife decided a fitting tribute would be a $9,600 couch-shaped tombstone engraved with color logos of the Colts and NASCAR. A lovely, touching gesture, right? Maybe, but certainly not according to those in charge of the Catholic cemetery where Jason is now buried.

Hey, non-white Americans: Are You Ready for Some Nascar™? You will be exclaiming ¡si! as soon as Nascar gets this big new multimillion-dollar ad campaign underway. The folks at Nascar have big plans to "attract a multicultural fan base (specifically among Hispanics)."

A few weeks ago, Mitt Romney stuffed his foot in his mouth after proving to the common folk at a NASCAR race that he was a fan of the sport because he has "some great friends who are NASCAR team owners." This week, he somehow crammed the other foot in there by repeating almost literally the exact same thing about the NFL.

The remarkable thing about Mitt Romney's foot-in-mouth moments is that Mitt Romney's foot-in-mouth moments almost always have to do with Mitt Romney admitting that he is dreadfully, dreadfully wealthy. Romney, for example, is "not concerned about the very poor." His wife Ann, for example, drives "a couple of Cadillacs."

First Lady Michelle Obama was a NASCAR Grand Marshal at today's Ford 400 (so was her sidekick, Second Lady Jill Biden), so she naturally received a warm welcome from patriotic NASCAR fans. Kidding! She got booed.

President Obama, like he does with all top sports teams or athletes, has invited last year's NASCAR champion Jimmie Johnson and the 11 other drivers who competed for the championship to a White House reception next week. Usually this is an invitation that you accept, always, unless you're deathly ill in bed with athlete's butt or whatever it is people catch these days. And yet only seven of the 12 will be attending. Hmm.

If you get a fax these days, you know nothing good will come from it. Oh, a fax came for me? Please send it right through the shredder then light it on fire and throw the ashes into a volcano. Because who sends faxes anymore? Racist NASCAR fans, that's who!

Reigning, five-time NASCAR Champion Jimmie Johnson lives his life a quarter mile at a time. Watch as he and Jimmy Fallon put the pedal to the metal in this big-wheel drift race. One Jim gets absolutely smoked, but which one?

CBS had NASCAR CMO Steve Phelps go undercover for a day! Natch, he was made to look like an idiot, because that's what Undercover Boss is all about: making company officers look like idiots. Watch him change a tire inside.

You've already seen the preview clip of South Park's NASCAR-filled season premiere. Now, find out everything that happened during the episode where Cartman made it his mission to become "poor and stupid" enough to race with the best of 'em.

There aren't many NASCAR enthusiasts staffing ESPN's Connecticut headquarters. Thursday, SportsNation had one of the few record his NASCAR thoughts as an "expert opinion," but it was all a ruse to embarrass him in front of NASCAR superstar Tony Stewart.

This clip from yesterday's SportsNation re-affirms all of our "NASCAR Fan" stereotypes, as if it were a cut scene from Talladega Nights. Seriously, if this guy's name isn't "Bubba" or "Cooter," then I'm Robert E. Lee.

Shaq is back to take on the greatest athletes in the world, whether it be in an athletic competition or not. This week Shaq Diesel decided to test himself on a Nascar track against the legendary Dale Earnhardt Jr.

Want to see a jerk-off NASCAR fan with a racist t-shirt? Here you go.

Lots of people flipped out over the Wall Street Journal's decision to run a photo of Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan playing softball. Were they trying to imply she's a lesbian? Every extracurricular activity comes with a stereotype.

Are Jennifer and Brad going to reconcile? Will Nancy Grace eat Jon Gosselin's face? Can Levi Johnston get in shape for Playgirl? And why do women find Jeremy Piven attractive? Welcome, inquisitive reader, to your Wednesday morning gossip roundup!

There are just as many who don't understand belting divas as people who can't watch cars continuously turning left. So why do people still flock to these two events? The crashes and booing, of course.

Hilariously, predictably, Ann Coulter fell for the "Obama's War on Nascar" April Fool's Day story.