Overemphatic stage wink
Melted-bead craft project
Lisa Frank needlepoint
Sentient glitter cloud
Over-iced Funfetti cupcake
Living Pinterest board
Probable Yelp reviewer
Novelty ukulele tune
Possessed Anthropologie mannequin
Animated Hipstamatic photograph
Crocheted Etsy woman
Living dog sweater
Bambi's rabbit friend
Hipster labradoodle
Satchel of fairy dust

Parents made "Arianna" the 66th most popular name last year, vs. 100th in 2001. They're either getting more religious — "Arianna" means "holy" — or thinking of Arianna Huffington because they spend too much time online. Not a tough call.

According to the Daily Mail, "Britain's most feckless father" is a 34-year-old unemployed man who has already produced 15 babies to 13 different ladies, and has two more babies on the way. His name: Jamie Cumming. Commence Beavis and Butthead-style chuckling.

We all hear stories about kids who are given ridiculous names—usually kids that are born to celebrities—but when you're looking to name your child, don't turn to a "baby name blog." They're full of horrible ideas too, like this one.

Shiny-haired political heiress Lauren Bush has made it official: She'll take fiance David Lauren's last name, and go by "Lauren Bush Lauren" after her wedding. Two Laurens with a Bush in the middle. Easiest society punchline since Ima Hogg. [P6]

Look, I'm don't want to disparage John Denver, but does the man really need a mountain named after him? That's one college professor's plan. J.P. McDaniel gathered some 2,300 signatures to rename the eastern peak of Mt. Sopris after the folksy John Denver, but now it turns out that might violate the Wilderness Act of 1964. More from the Grand Junction Daily Sentinel:

Campus Crusade for Christ, the worldwide college-based "Christian evangelism and discipleship organization," considered 1,600 possible new names for itself before settling on "Cru." The name change was reportedly "met with enthusiasm and excitement" among staffers. "Go to Willis Avenue and tell Jamaican Jay, I'll gladly pay him Tuesday for a bag of boom today," they exclaimed.

Before it was "Twitter" or even "twttr," America's favorite microblogging service had two other, absolutely terrible names. Crackhead names.

Casey Anthony will soon get out of jail. What is she doing to get ready? An anonymously sourced report in the Chicago Sun-Times says she's working on aliases and disguises:

Natalie Portman's one-month-old Millepied-sired baby boy is named Aleph (or Alef), People, Us, and Israeli gossips report:

Henceforth, P. Diddy will be known as "Swag," according to CNN. Well, for one week only. Of all of Diddy's many name changes, this is the dumbest.

An Israeli couple has named their newborn daughter "Like." It's unclear if Facebook was the direct inspiration for their choice, given that the father doesn't really use Facebook. But, still, pretty cruel!

Yesterday Mariah Carey hinted that the names of her twins, with child bride Nick Cannon, will both start with the letter M. Now she's actually announced their full names and one of them is very funny!

LinkedIn, the professional social networking site that exists only so that it can email me every two days, has taken a page from OK Cupid's book and mined its user base for meme-worthy data! First up: "The top CEO names."

It is rare that our imagination syncs up with science, so we are particularly psyched to learn of new research suggesting that sperm whales, when they click at each other, "announce themselves with discrete personal identifier[s]." Yes! That's right: Sperm whales have names.

One of the great failures of modern political journalism is its inability to account for the children of former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin—specially, why they are named things like "Trig" and "Willow"? But where journalism has failed, science may have succeeded:

Fort Wayne, Indiana is a town divided today. The city decided to put the naming of its new government center to a public vote; voters chose to name the building for one of the town's former mayors, who served four terms from the 1930s through the 1950s.

Bucking the long-held Hollywood tradition of celebrities giving their kids insane names, butterscotch stallion Owen Wilson and his girlfriend have dubbed their new son Robert Ford Wilson. That's it. Yes, a slight outlaw association, but nothing weirder. Rather amazing!

Uh-oh! Are you named something weird, like "Trig" or "Bristol"? You might go to Hell! Or at least, get in trouble with the Pope. He told some people that Catholics should have Christian names, and Italians flipped out.

The Veterinary Pet Insurance Company tabulated the most popular animal name for 2010: Bella. Yes, because of that vampire movie the kids won't shut up about. But what's really fun are the insane names given to some dogs and cats.