Last week, Stanford freshman Brock Turner was convicted of sexually assaulting an unconscious woman. How unfair—to him.

Remember the attractive teen who got arrested last November for allegedly dealing prescription drugs? (Fuck what you heard: her mugshot was cute.) Well, "mugshot dime" Alysa Bathrick was picked up for a second time last week.

A man was arrested at a Hudson, Fla., Kmart Monday while wearing a shirt that said "WHO NEEDS DRUGS? No, seriously, I have drugs." Pasco County deputies allege that—surprise!—he had drugs.

If the explosion of attention around "hot mugshot guy" Jeremy Meeks earlier this year proved anything, it's that America is thirsty for sexy alleged criminals. It was only a matter of time before someone was anointed "cute mugshot girl," and 18-year-old Alysa Bathrick is your lucky winner.

On Tuesday, police in Laurel County, Kentucky released this booking photo of a woman and her stylish "I Heart Crystal Meth" T-shirt on social media. Unfortunately, no points will be awarded for guessing tweaker Amy Poehler's charge, which, as you may have figured out, was a crime of passion.

A 20-year-old man was arrested by Lee County, Fla., deputies Tuesday on possession of less than 20 grams of marijuana—a typical occurrence and a useless waste of police time that would normally not be newsworthy, except for the t-shirt he was wearing when he was booked.

In any other of the 49 states, a football fan might express his admiration for the game with a bumper sticker, a custom jersey or—at the very most—a festively painted beer belly. But in Florida, the home of nude beach blow job jet ski fights, nothing less than a psycho full head tattoo will do, like the one seen here on St. Petersburg's Victor Thompson.

Yikes–looks like prison is taking quite a toll on reformed-wig addict Phil Spector. The latest batch of head shots to come out of the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation find the notoriously vain producer rapidly-balding and increasingly Gollum-like.

So you've just been arrested, and you're wondering what you should wear when you're booked into jail. Worry not, as there's one surefire way to nail it with style and grace: just wear any old shirt, but print the mugshot from a previous arrest on the front. You'll knock 'em out.

Is it illegal to be this sexy? When police say this man was arrested on felony weapons charges, are they talking about those piercing blue eyes?

Nothing says "I just got arrested for endangering my child" like jazz hands.

Authorities in Portland, Oregon, now have a sketch of the man they say has exposed himself to women and children on the streets for the past month. And something is wrong, terribly wrong, with his face.

You should never judge a book by its cover, unless its cover looks like David Adam Pate, 24, of Lancaster, S.C. Pate was charged with the murder of Ricky James, 33, on Friday after police determined he led James into the woods in mid-October, murdered him, and then covered his body with brush. Children playing in the area found James' body last weekend.

Monday was not the best day of David Marshall's life. By six p.m., the 38-year-old from Jonesboro, Arkansas was so obliterated that he'd passed out in an apartment-complex parking lot and the neighbors had to call the cops. This was not a good reason to smile. So what was?

Everybody knows the rules of binge drinking and bro-habitating: When you pass out anywhere beside your bed after a night of beer bongs and body shots and yelling at sports, you are fair game for a variety of pranks. You may wake up surrounded by stupidly placed bananas, or with cigarettes up your nose, or bearing a crude map of pee-pees all over your forehead. This is just the way it is.

At age 26, Lindsay Lohan has been taken into police custody a grand total of six times. Assuming this pattern holds for the rest of her life (and that she lives as long as the average American woman), she will have been admitted to jail roughly 19 times by the time she dies at age 81 (in jail).

Emerito Pujol, looking sad as all get-out in his mug shot, flashed a badge and walked right through the entrance to Epcot, one of the parks at a Disney World. He said he was an undercover officer and was looking for someone. When pressed, his story changed slightly: now he was "guarding someone important." Finally, a security guard checked his badge and noticed it read "American Federation of Police" and "Honorary Member." (The AFP is a nonprofit, not a law enforcement agency.)

Here is how people are profitting from your online mugshot and using it to ruin your life.

Weird, right? He looks so normal-eyed and harmless! But 65-year-old trucker Robert Ben Rhoades, currently serving a life sentence for the murder of a 14-year-old Illinois girl, is believed to have killed "an average of three women a month by the early 1990s."

Here's your bleak and/or infuriating tale of mortally dangerous desperation of the day: Tulsa police arrested a woman for attempting to make meth inside a Walmart store yesterday. Elizabeth Elisha Halfmoon was in the store for six hours. When police finally noticed her, she was "mixing sulfuric acid with starter fluid in a bottle."