Have you flown lately? You don't remember, do you? You were too drunk. That's not just a troubling sign of your creeping alcoholism; it's also a business plan for the entire airline industry!

The Way We Live Now: sucking up to the populace. But only out of necessity. We don't make it a habit to smile in the face of people without money unless they have something else we want. (Votes).

A new survey of kids who got bachelor's degrees in journalism last year reveals that their average salary has stayed the same for the past three years: $0. Ha, no, it's $30k. For the 56% able to find jobs. [UGA]

The Way We Live Now: giving it away, giving it away, giving it away now, in the words of Warren Buffett's favorite songsmiths. Billionaires are giving it back! Minus the cost of goats, art sales, and hedge fund taxes.

By the way, Haitian presidential candidate Wyclef Jean owes the IRS $2.1 million. Doh!

Barnes & Noble is putting itself up for sale! Remember when everyone thought B&N would become the Wal-Mart of book selling, an indomitable corporate force controlling the literary world? Boy how wrong that was, huh?

The Way We Live Now: burning the ruling class's cherished symbols to the ground and salting the earth behind us. Why not? If we're gonna die from high salt diets, we might as well die while destroying a golf course.

Barney Frank wants to legalize online gambling. Europe's already reaping the gambling tax revenues. California's debating legalized gambling, and so is Massachusetts. Table games are back in the Poconos, and they're popular as ever. Gambling! A financial utopia?

The Way We Live Now: without the kitchen sink. We sold it off, along with the rest of the house. Had to. Can't afford a home. Can't afford a decent train. And even god can't get us a vacation.

The good news: prices are going down! The bad news: this will destroy the American economy (again). Unless...

The Way We Live Now: slowing down. Taking it easy. Why get so hung up on "economic growth?" Why not sit back on the yacht, counting our vast fortune obtained through professional sports or financial shenanigans? Doesn't that sound better?

Newsweek—though financially ruined—had quite a few suitors for her attention. But her father, Donald Graham, won't let her just run off with any old fast fella with cash and flash. He's finding her a nice, old, upstanding buyer.

The Way We Live Now: gettin' high. It's Thursday. You ain't got no job. You ain't got no subsidies. You ain't got no deflation policy. You ain't got no rising home prices. You don't pay taxes. What you gotta do?

American Apparel's stock nosedived this morning after its accounting firm, Deloitte & Touche, announced that it would no longer work with Dov Charney's fashion cult because the company's financial controls may not be reliable.

The Way We Live Now: with a long tail. Scrape together enough pennies from enough wretched poor people and before you know it, you're riding high! The poor were already poor. A little poorer won't hurt. Everyone wins!

The Way We Live Now: paying later. Down the road our situation will more favorably facilitate the repayment of loans taken on credit that we cannot currently afford. We have faith! Faith is American! We won't be broke—later!

Quite a story in the NYT today about the trial of David Brooks, CEO of a body-armor company who ripped off the US military for millions. Okay, maybe his $100,000 belt buckle was excessive. But the prostitutes? Totally legit.

The Way We Live Now: taxing and spending, or perhaps doing the opposite. We're almost certain that some combination of tax increases or cuts and concomitant spending increases or cuts will help our paralyzed economy. We're not stupid.

The Way We Live Now: charging towards every incentive, negative or not. Survival is the bottom line. Drug sales? Yes! Stealing from neighbors? Yes! Good credit? Bah! Life is but a doll's carcass, full of dust.

How come law degrees are becoming more worthless every day? Because new law school grads can't find jobs. Why can't they find jobs? Because bitter old coot lawyers are clinging onto their offices for dear life. A vicious legal circle!