The folly of wearing 'BROOKLYN' apparel, illustrated.

Well, well. Michelle Obama has some nice arms, and now all the ladies want some nice arms. Women of America: resist this arm fixation. Do you want to end up just as dumb as men?

A tipster sends us this photo of an actual advertisement in Sweden, which, she explains, is a result of the stubborn Swedes' tendency to believe their fancy schools actually teach them proper English. Psht:

MSNBC's Peter Alexander concludes an interview today with the president of the NAACP by noting, "The president honors this country's colored people." Nilla! Shortly afterwards Alexander apologized, which was even more amusing.

Page Six Magazine is folding, but not before they stroke the egos of anyone who could maybe give them a job with this here list of NYC's 50 Hottest Bachelors. Five problematic entries:

A Fox News anchor finds the words "Top Cop" so difficult to read off the teleprompter he finally just gives up and says "ah, whatever." It's not the first time this has happened!

Wow, the intoxication fatigue of the inauguration really wears reporters down to babbling idiots. Witness this wacky error reel from a single episode of Anderson Cooper's show yesterday! Amazing. Red Bull gives you wings, AC.

Could Caroline Kennedy have given us any clearer indication of her lack of qualifications for the Senate than her disastrous exit from the race? Here is the (new!) alleged timeline of her decisionmaking process:

Barack Obama knew his mangled presidential oath would be used against him forever, so he made America's comically inarticulate chief justice and some reporters come to a do-over party.

Chief Justice John Roberts only had to do one thing today, besides look pretty: give the oath of office. And he screwed it up!

A flack for Ketchum named James Andrews had to fly into Memphis yesterday for a client meeting with FedEx, and observed, correctly, that Memphis is a hellhole. This could get him fired.

It's good for a company to have a slogan that stands out. But it's bad for a company to have a slogan that stands out because it was also a concentration camp slogan.

OMG: Celebuzz exclusively reports that faux lesbian Katy Perry has broken up with her faux lesbian-loving boyfriend, Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes. Celebuzz also exclusively reports that Travis took to his blog with these heartfelt words of pain about the breakup:

The media screwed up many, many times in 2008. As in other years! The ten finest episodes, listed for you below. Merry Christmas, from the media:

You know what never gets old? Polish jokes! You know what really never gets old? A Republican Senator telling Polish jokes to a big group including Polish people, for kicks—dumb Polack kicks, ha!

A feisty young blogger named Matt points out that John Edwards has not yet been given a job in the Obama administration. Shocking! As Matt points out, in his link, Edwards totally endorsed Obama last May, four months after he dropped out of the race and a mere week after Tim Russert famously declared the Democratic primary race "over" for Hillary Clinton. Despite the lateness of the endorsement it was universally acknowledged that Edwards wanted a job—then he had a sex scandal and now he will be lucky to get a job blogging about the law for Slate.

The backlash against Somali pirates is already backlashing upon itself—proving that you just cannot fuck with pirates successfully! The Indian Navy thought it was being hardcore when it sunk an alleged pirate "mother ship" off the African coast last week. They must have forgotten that worldwide favor being heaped upon the Somali pirate lifestyle renders them invincible! Just click and watch the video clip above—the pirates are giving sympathetic interviews to CNN already. Casting themselves as freedom fighters, of a sort! More than you can say for the anti-pirate forces. Because the Indian Navy's big attack may not have gotten any pirates at all:

There's nothing easier than hating on dumb young telemarketers and their annoying sales pitches. Though it is possible to summon some sympathy for the unfortunate Bloomberg sales caller who mistakenly thought that Vanity Fair contributing editor Seth Mnookin was a Vanity Fair PR person. Outrageous! Doesn't this anonymous business services salesman read Seth Mnookin's stories? Seth just had a big story in Vanity Fair about Bloomberg, so he was surprised enough to transcribe the entire message he got:

Confidential to Reuters and all others quoting "Bertha Suttner," alleged spokeswoman for the fake New York Times prankster group: Bertha Suttner was an Austrian pacifist and the first woman to win the Nobel Peace Prize, in 1905. Possible pseudonym alert.

Some dude in Hollywood named Todd Shemarya is getting sued by his ex-assistant, who claims that he sexually harassed her and was a big racist and walked around naked at work and several other unsavory things. The original story noted that Shemarya's firm " bills itself as the "number one" talent agency in the world" that claims to represent a slew of A-List stars like Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio. Naturally this snowballed, and yesterday Page Six called Shemarya "A TOP Hollywood talent agent - whose roster includes Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Aniston and Matthew McConaughey." But one brave writer at Variety had the balls to point out: Todd Shemarya is nobody: