Citing “American tradition” (which may or may be an oblique reference to money—who’s to say?) the cable channel Reelz announced Thursday that it will broadcast the Miss USA pageant after both NBC and Univision dropped the show in the wake of Donald Trump’s latest idiot statements.

Noted asshole Donald Trump recently made asshole history, giving a goddamn presidential campaign announcement so racist that the network responsible for Outsourced was uncomfortable remaining associated with him.

Donald Trump, to be fair, says a lot of idiot things. And for the most part, people just ignore him until he tires himself out, as you might a child having a tantrum. But it looks like his idiot comments about drug-addicted-rapist Mexicans rightfully offended some people—Univision says they’re not going to air the Miss USA beauty pageant as long as he’s involved.

During last night's Miss USA competition, eventual first runner-up Miss Alabama Mary Margaret McCord was asked to weigh in on the NSA's PRISM scandal that "has been in the news lately."

America is strutting around the universe with a little kick in its step today, as Miss USA was crowned Miss Universe last night for the first time EVER in the last 15 years.

Miss Pennsylvania USA 2012 Sheena Monnin resigned her role in an angry Facebook post that accused the Miss USA pageant officials of fixing the contest and having the finalists all picked out prior to the show's airing.

And now, the final piece of evidence that first Muslim Miss USA* Rima Fakih is as American as the rest of them: Last night, the former Miss Michigan was arrested for driving drunk in Detroit enclave Highland Park. Just a good old-fashioned drunk-driving stripper. [NYDN, image via Getty]

Far-right presidential candidate Rick Perry dined with self-appointed "godfather of politics" Donald Trump last night. What did they do afterwards? Partied with pageant queens, Kardashians, and Kathie Lee Gifford at the Sheri Hill fashion show in the Trump Tower. Update: Page Six reports that Perry "made a beeline backstage" to hang out with the models, including Kathie Lee's daughter Cassidy.

Meet 21-year-old Alyssa Campanella, your new Miss USA: She's beautiful, talented and, best of all, not willfully ignorant of hundreds of years of scientific knowledge. The winner of this year's Miss USA pageant believes in evolution!

The state of Wisconsin was deeply disgraced over the weekend as its foremost representative, Miss Wisconsin USA, admitted to identity theft. Shaletta Porterfield, who worked at a marketing company last summer, told police that she forged the signatures of clients in order to meet her commission goals. She likely won't see any jail time (according to her lawyer, she didn't benefit monetarily from her actions, and stopped working at the firm in August), but she will have live with the knowledge that she brought deep and abiding shame upon the Miss USA pageant. [Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel via NYDN]

Actress, television personality, 2003 Miss USA and all-purpose spotlight-addict Susie Castillo taped a tearful announcement after being "molested," as she puts it, at the Dallas airport security checkpoint.

America's beloved Miss USA, Rima Fakih — the first Muslim to hold that title — will hit the airwaves tonight to give her opinion on Cordoba House: it's too close to Ground Zero! This complicates everything.

She's back, baby, and ready to judge you. Also today: Movie roles in a variety of independent pictures, we find out what happens at the end of Cannes, and the triumphant return of Miss America.

[Miss USA Rima Fakih continues to diversify the world of beauty queens, boldy rejecting the traditional, stiff-wristed parade wave in favor of a casual bend of the fingers, by Rockefeller Plaza. Image via Pacific Coast News.]

On yesterday's Late Show, Rima Fakih (aka Miss USA 2010) visited to chat with David Letterman about cars, Detroit and things like such as before delivering the Top 10 List: "Things I Want To Do As Miss USA." Video inside.

Turns out Rima Fakih wasn't the first Arab-American Miss USA, after all.

Proof that the first Arab-American Miss USA, Rima Fakih, is as American as previous queens: Less than 24 hours after being crowned, her sex scandal emerges. It's a stripper snafu, so it probably won't matter. But look, stripper pictures!

[Miss Michigan Rima Fakih was crowned Miss USA on Sunday night, for doing whatever it is you do to win these things. Fakih, who was born in Lebanon, is the first Arab-American Miss USA. Pic via AP.]

It'll be so real, you'll want to reach out the touch Jesus' stigmata. Posthumous John Hughes movie makes the rounds; Miss America's still homeless but Miss USA's safe; Hurt Locker's banned director gives speech. Your daily update on show business.

[Miss Universe Stefania Fernandez and Miss USA Kristen Dalton look a little out of place on their visit to Beth Israel Medical Center in New York yesterday. Image via Getty]