Carrie Prejean and her breasts are headed to court. The ex-beauty queen turned anti-gay activist is being sued by the organizers of the Miss California USA pageant who say they paid for her boob job.

The attorney for Carrie Prejean, disgraced pageant broad and the most wind-maligned human in world history, is claiming that she's the victim of an evil plot by dastardly pageant officials who want to destroy her, and is threatening a lawsuit.

Donald Trump, who owns the Miss USA operation, wouldn't take away Carrie Prejean's Miss California crown after she bashed gay marriage or when she posed nekkid. So what's a fireable offense? Apparently, thou shalt not be more famous than him.

So Carrie California has been saved. Carrie Prejean, Miss California USA, was granted a pardon by the benevolent Donald Trump, even though she has tits and hates homosexuals and stood to lose her precious crown.

In the third scandal to rock the Miss USA pageant — the cherished American institution that no one had heard of until a few weeks ago — Miss New Jersey Ashley Harder announced yesterday that she will resign her title because she is great with child. Pageant owner Donald Trump's response was a "terse" "I wish her well," delivered via a spokeswoman, according to the Daily News. 20 year old Harder, who is a host on a Philadelphia TV station, plans to marry her 28 year old live-in boyfriend "at some point." And also according to the Daily News,

· A tip to those easily freaked out by the way 24 dramatizes the methods that terrorists can use to wipe you out: You might want to skip tonight's episode.
· Britney Spears dropped $40k to stay at the two-story Hugh Hefner Sky Villa at the Palms over the weekend, which includes a fee for the concierge to keep the kids busy at the slot machines while mommy and her new friend test out the Jacuzzi.
· Compared to the bi-curious pain that Miss Nevada USA put Donald Trump through, you'd think he'd be pretty excited that Miss New Jersey USA merely was impregnated by her live-in boyfriend. And the Miss USA folks really move fast, as the runner-up who assumed the NJ tiara due to her predecessor's inability to uphold the pageant's anti-knocking-up bylaws already has her headshot in the place of honor on MissNewJerseyUSA.com.
· Stars Killed By Gunfire: Perhaps the most morbid local TV station website slideshow we've ever seen. A real achievement!
· Cocktail conversation topics to avoid with director Taylor Hackford: "'Ask him what he's done since 'Ray' - that's guaranteed to get you punched out,' one pal of the couple helpfully advised."

· While idling in your car for what seemed like days in a futile attempt to escape from The Grove's parking structure, you've often suspected you were actually trapped in a multi-tiered, Alighierian Inferno. Losanjealous offers photographic proof of your fear.
· "Dick in a Box": the t-shirt is now available on the internets. A quibble: Where's the bow and gift wrapping? It almost looks like you're being directed to put your junk in that birdhouse.
You know who really hates Frosty the Fucking Snowman? This guy.
Cityrag directs you to the 50 Greatest Cartoons of All Time.
· The Miss Nevada USA pics, uncensored—except for the Splash News watermark all over them. [Very NSFW]
· The ThighMaster presents The Girls Of The Wonder Years.

Alas, what we feared was all but inevitable has come to pass: the Miss Universe Organization has decided to strip Miss Nevada USA of her title following the sudden appearance of some racy™ photos, rather than take the unexpected opportunity the free-spirited, bi-curious pageanteer provided them to re-brand their buttoned-down contest as something on the cutting edge of youth culture. TMZ.com got its hands on the full set of pictures that cost our poor tiara-clad martyr her sash, should you wish to more fully inform your opinion about how badly pageant justice was miscarried today.

Trump this, Rosie that. We needed a calm, reasonable, mature perspective on the whole Miss USA kerfluffle, so we turned to our favorite gravitas-dispenser, A.C. We weren't disappointed.

The barrage of recent Miss USA-related scandals has made the stories completely blur together for us, making it nearly impossible to distinguish which tiaratard is off to Trump-ordered rehab, was dumped by MADD, or—and we may be misremembering this one—once sold herself into the harem of a blonde-hoarding sultan, a clear violation of pageant by-laws. In any case, the senseless media persecution of these young women for doing what comes naturally to a pageant winner set loose in the city (namely, binge-drinking themselves to temporary blindness, then publicly indulging in some light bisexuality) continues with the release of some racy™ photos of Miss Nevada USA partaking in the kind of harmless merriment that typically earns a vivacious gal a coveted cover slot on a Girls Gone Wild DVD. We hesitate to even offer a link to the allegedly controversial images, as we'd never want to be a party to anything that would have a chilling effect on future pageanteers flashing their goodies and making out with each other, but we feel it's important that each reader make up his or her mind about whether such innocent activities compromise a beauty contest title-holder's ability to wear a sash bearing her state's name while cutting a ribbon at a local car dealership.

Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) has cut ties with Miss Teen USA Katie Blair for her reported underage carousing with Miss Temporarily Disgraced USA Tara Conner, but it's expected that she will quickly rebound to sign on as a spokesperson for Mothers Totally In Favor Of Hot And Horny Pageant Chicks Getting Coked Up And Making Out (MTIFOHAHPCGCUAMO).
Evangeline Lilly's Hawaiian house burnt down, but as Michelle Rodriguez has been off the show for a while, fire inspectors have already ruled out the possibility that conflagration was caused by a flaming mai-tai drinking contest gone horrible awry.
Christians prepare to protest the pregnant, virgin Komodo dragon expected to give birth around Christmas, claiming the reptile is making a mockery of the sacred holiday.
· Over at HuffPo, Studio 60's Steven Weber does his best impression of 30 Rock's Alec Baldwin.

· We tried and we tried (we swear!), but in the end, we just couldn't make ourselves give a shit about the Miss USA situation. Even a little. We will, however, run this large picture of the semidisgraced Tara Conner getting theatrically weepy at press conference announcing The Donald has temporarily exiled her to rehab until she learns to party in a manner more becoming a Trump-owned pageant winner.
TMZ EXCLUSIVE 'AMERICAN IDOL' SHOCKER! Prospective Contestants To Be Brought To Hollywood, Made To Sing Songs By Established Musical Acts!
15 grams of coke? Tawny Kitaen really didn't fuck around with her drug abuse.
Year-End ListMania! 10 TV Shows That Failed! 10 Celebrity Videos That Went Viral!
x17 Online has some striking before and after pics of Paris Hilton running the alcohol/chemical-abuse gauntlet at Teddy's. Couldn't she pull herself together a little bit for the cabbie?

• Aleksey Vayner now inspiring the youth of our country. [IvyGate]