• Brittany Murphy's funeral has been scheduled for tomorrow, Christmas Eve. In other Brittany news, her super-sketchy husband Simon Monjack, who indicated initially that he didn't want an autopsy to be performed on Murphy, now says he wants to know exactly what caused her death, although he also says he's sure it didn't have anything to do with her having a drug problem or eating disorder of any kind; the coroner in LA is completely baffled how information about Murphy's giant cache of prescription drugs made its way to TMZ and says he's planning a full investigation; and in what may be the most twisted development of the day, it seems Murphy's LA home has already been added to a "Haunted Hollywood" tour.
• Poor Mischa Barton. She showed up at the Whole Foods in Soho with her Shih-Pom, Ziggy, and was then informed that the store doesn't permit dogs inside, even those that happen to belong to semi-famous people. [NYDN]
• Steven Tyler of Aerosmith says he's been addicted to painkillers for years and is now heading to rehab. [People]

We get some decent Stalker Sightings on the weekends, even with our spies hard at work brunching and shopping and, really, probably reporting these drunk. Yet some are especially concise, astute, catty, or somehow otherwise spectacular. Like this one.

• There's both good and bad news for Mischa Barton. The bad: She's reportedly drinking again and was seen "knocking back shots and drinking margaritas" earlier this week. (As you may remember, that sort of behavior led Mischa to spend some time in the hospital this past summer.) The good news: She supposedly looked "healthy" and "in control" while doing it, so it should be a few months before she hits bottom again and is forced to make a return trip. [P6]
• Think a good thought for Madonna. Louis Vuitton has decided to drop Madge as the face of the brand and replace her with 25-year-old supermodel Lara Stone. [Sun]
• The last 24 hours of Tiger: Holly Sampson, the porn star who had been suspected of having a tryst with Tiger, confirmed the rumor yesterday; meanwhile, Hollywood madam Michelle Braun says Woods spent $60,000 on hookers between 2006 and 2007, was into the "college cutie, girls-next-door look," and was a fan of three-ways, too. Luckily for Tiger, the reports about his dozen or so mistresses (and all the kinky specifics) may not spell disaster for his marriage to Elin Nordegren. Several tabloids report that Woods has come clean to Elin about "all" of his misbehavior in recent days and she's planning to stay with him.

• Tiger Woods' mistress tally is quickly approaching the double digits. Jamie Jungers, a Las Vegas model, says she had a two-year affair with Woods; then there's Cori Rist, an aspiring model, who says she started seeing Woods after meeting him at Butter. To top it all off, porn star Holly Sampson has also been mentioned as a woman Woods was involved with, although she's yet to confirm or deny the report. Meanwhile, Queen Oprah thoughtfully reached out to Tiger over the weekend and offered him the opportunity to tell his side of the story, and that may be his best chance yet of somehow saving his rep at this point. [NYDN, E! NYDN]
• Alexa Joel, the daughter of Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley, is recovering at home after what seems to have been a suicide attempt on Saturday. Joel took a bunch of homeopathic sleeping pills—possibly because she was upset over a break-up—and then called 911 herself. [NYP, NYDN, NYP]

• The feud between Al Roker and America's most despicable couple continues. After the Today show canceled an interview with Spencer and Heidi Pratt, Spencer took to Twitter to air his rage: "I thought you were out of town getting your stomache [sic] staped [sic] again... Do you always look like your [sic] about to die?" One thing that's clear here: Spencer should have paid more attention in English class. [Us]
• Brat Packer Anthony Michael Hall—who is about to kick off a guest stint on NBC's Community—has been ordered to stay away from his ex, Diana Falzone, a "relationship expert" who writes for the Huffington Post and hosts a show on Sirius. Falzone was granted a restraining order after Hall allegedly broke down her door last week and "bashed her head against a wall." [P6]
• Nicole Richie and Joel Madden secured a restraining order against two paparazzi who Richie says have been harassing her. Is it just us, or are restraining orders becoming all the rage? [TMZ]
• MTV has premiered Beyoncé's new video for "Video Phone" featuring a special guest appearance by Lady Gaga. In a surprising twist, it's Lady Gaga who looks fairly normal and Beyoncé who looks a little freaky. [MTV, NYP]

Looks like has-bian Lindsay Lohan has made the switch again—this time for a famous man. Also are Jude and Sienna back together? Is Mischa back on the sauce? Is Piven growing man boobs? Questions answered in Tuesday's gossip.

• Rihanna has a new album to promote, which explains why she's suddenly breaking her silence about the personal troubles she's faced over the past year. She addresses the Chris Brown incident in an interview in the current issue of Glamour. And she'll discuss it again on Thursday when she sits down to an interview with Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America. [People, Sun, Glamour]
• Related: Rihanna attended Mariah Carey's Halloween party the other night, but the two divas refused to exchange a word. [P6]
• Kate Hudson says she quit drinking to get ready for a film role (and not because she's pregnant). She also says the diamond ring she's been wearing is not because she's engaged to A-Rod. (She says she isn't.) [P6]

Mischa Barton shopping downtown before heading to the gym ... Catherine Zeta-Jones crossing the street on the Upper East Side ... Christina Milian leaving her hotel ... Hugh Jackman walking daughter Ava to school ... Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves arriving at JFK ... Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg hanging out on the set of The Other Guys ... Michelle Williams walking daughter Matilda to school ... the singer Monica sitting in an SUV outside her hotel in Midtown ... Shakira standing in front of the Plaza Hotel ... and Sienna Miller walking her dog downtown.

[Mischa Barton refuses to stare into Donatella Versace's cleavage at the Whitney Museum Gala Studio Party at the museum last night. Image via Getty]

• Lindsay Lohan is having another bad week. At the Whitney Museum of Art Gala last night, the "jelly-legged actress" had to hold on to a fence for "dear life" as she "stumbled out of the glitzy bash." But Mischa Barton was looking surprisingly put together, so that's good news, right? [Daily Mail, Sun]
• It's been a few years since Salman Rushdie and Padma Lakshmi split up, but the author is still obsessed with his ex-wife and talks about her "day and night," says Rushdie's most recent girlfriend, Broadway actress Pia Glenn. She also says Rushdie broke things off with her via email and may have been just using her for sex. [P6]
• Ali Wise, the socialite/ex-Dolce & Gabbana publicist who appeared in court yesterday on charges she hacked into a rival's phone, won't have to mount her defense until January. But there are four women now claiming Wise broke into their voicemail accounts now, not just one. [NYDN]

Drew Barrymore walking in Soho ... Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt arriving at JFK ... Julianne Moore walking with son Caleb in the meatpacking district ... Rachel McAdams pulling a suitcase behind her in Soho ... Daniel Craig leaving his apartment building ... Jon Gosselin grabbing breakfast on the Upper West Side ... Hugh Jackman playing with his kids at a West Village playground ... Star Trek's Chris Pine walking downtown ... Jocelyne Wildenstein with her boyfriend outside Le Cirque ... Mrs. Matt Lauer walking down Madison with one of their sons ... Mischa Barton leaving a party at Gustavino's on East 59th Street ... and Penelope Cruz leaving her hotel in Midtown and heading to dinner.

• Dina Lohan, America's No. 1 mom and the face of a new line of shoes, is defending Lindsay against her dad's accusation that the actress is addicted to drugs and desperately needs an intervention. ("I have no idea what he is talking about," Dina says.) She also stood up for LiLo's fashion design skills, even after her debut as Emanuel Ungaro's "artistic adviser" was savaged by the press earlier this week: "The critics can say whatever they want, but Lindsay is a genius," she said. [P6, NYDN, Radar]
• Mischa Barton reportedly "had a drink in hand all night" on the LES on Wednesday, where she was seen buying shots for Young Veins' frontman Ryan Ross. Where's Michael Lohan when you need him? [NYDN]
• Meanwhile, model Agyness Deyn is reportedly laying off the booze in solidarity with her boyfriend, Albert Hammond Jr., who is in rehab. [P6]

Mischa Barton hailing a cab (or simply stretching her arm?) in the East Village ... Christy Turlington picking up daughter Grace from school ... Famke Janssen riding a bike and walking her dog at the same time ... Kate Gosselin leaving her hotel ... Keri Russell hanging out with her son and husband in Brooklyn ... Matt Damon and Emily Blunt shooting scenes for The Adjustment Bureau ... Kelly Clarkson picking up lunch at a deli downtown ... Sienna Miller walking with a friend in the West Village ... Hugh Jackman playing with his kids outside ... Blake Lively filming scenes for Gossip Girl with Chace Crawford in Central Park ... and Orlando Bloom eating lunch with Miranda Kerr at the Central Park Boathouse.

In somewhat lighter news, let's all can the schadenfreude surrounding the cancellation of Mischa Barton's horrible model soap, The Beautiful Life. But think of all the lost souls cast out into the streets, like actress Sara Paxton.

Kate Winslet walking in the meatpacking district with her son ... Donna Karan eating lunch outside with a friend in SoHo ... Jon Stewart walking with his wife and son in Tribeca ... Mischa Barton running errands with her dog ... Brad Pitt with son Maddox catching a flight at JFK ... Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg shooting scenes for The Other Guys in Chinatown ... Gerard Butler walking downtown ... David Byrne riding his bike near the West Side Highway ... Model Kara Young walking home from the gym in the West Village ... Sarah Jessica Parker leaving the Serge Normant Hair Salon in the meatpacking district, and later arriving at Barbra Streisand's performance at the Village Vanguard ... Clive Owen walking with a friend in SoHo ... and Jay-Z leaving dinner with a bunch of bodyguards.

Model soap The Beautiful Life, which starred Mischa Barton, was canceled because it totally blew.

If you see Mischa Barton on the street this weekend and she looks a little worse for the wear, and you strongly suspect her "toothache" has returned, go easy on her. The job that brought her to NYC last month—the CW show The Beautiful Life—was canceled today after just two episodes, making it the first victim of the fall television season. Like 10 percent of America, she's now unemployed. But she'll get by somehow, we imagine. [LA Times]

• Mischa Barton went to see "Tosca" at the Metropolitan Opera the other night. Naturally, when she showed up and saw a red carpet, she started walking it... until she realized it was for the screening of Michael Moore's new documentary at Alice Tully Hall. It was then that the light bulb went on and she ran across the street. Pull it together, woman! [P6]
• Jessica Simpson can't catch a break. Tony Romo ditched her; her dog got snatched by a coyote; her friends keep dishing to the media; and now her ex, Nick Lachey, appears to be reuniting with his ex, Vanessa Minnillo. Poor Jess. [E!]
• Tyra Banks appeared on Larry King Live last night and talked about how she dealt with packing on some lbs (again), her real hair (again), and how she loves being naked (unless the lighting in the dressing room sucks). [CNN, ET]

Tyra lets it hang out. Paparazzi want to hang Tom and Gisele out for an alleged shooting. And Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr are hanging out with a new baby. Welcome to your Wednesday morning gossip roundup!

• 30 Rock and Mad Men took home Emmys last night for outstanding comedy series and outstanding drama series, respectively. (Surprise, surprise.) Alec Baldwin won for outstanding actor in a comedy series; Breaking Bad's Bryan Cranston won for outstanding actor in a drama series; Glenn Close won for best actress in a drama series for Damages; and The United States of Tara's Toni Collette took home the award for best actress in a comedy series. Other winners included Lost's Michael Emerson, 24's Cherry Jones, Grey Gardens' Jessica Lange, Pushing Daisies' Kristin Chenoweth, and Two and a Half Men's Jon Cryer. The catchphrase of the night was "pulling a Kanye," naturally. [People, Us]
• Mischa Barton just isn't a morning person... or perhaps she's having dental issues again. A source from her CW show, The Beautiful Life, says she's often so out of it in the mornings that she holds up filming, and she'll stare into her coffee for minutes on end, mumbling, "Who will fix my coffee? I need someone to fix my coffee." [P6]
• Courtney Love lost it when a bathroom intruder caught her with her pants down at the T magazine party at the Standard the other night. Love supposedly screamed that the man had attacked her and tried to have him ejected. "I never wanted to see Courtney Love on the toilet," says the unlucky guy. "It wasn't a pretty sight. I just wanted to get out of there." [P6]