Amid all of the horrible destruction and human tragedy in Japan following last week's earthquake and tsunami, finally a bit of good news: A 70-year-old woman was found alive in her home in Iwate prefecture by rescuers after it had been washed away in the tsunami. She is suffering from hypothermia, but remains conscious in a hospital. Hopefully she's able to recover quickly. [AP/MSNBC]

Don't feel guilty about your terrible delivery food habits. When you are old and infirm, they might just save your life! One such person, an old lady pizza enthusiast who has ordered from a Memphis Domino's every day for three years, can fully attest to this fact.

A group of Japanese scientists claim that now that they've figured out how to extract DNA from frozen cells, they can clone a living woolly mammoth in four years. That's faster than we'll see the next Ice Age sequel.

Good news from the Snowpocalypse: A man survived a suicide attempt today when he jumped from the 9th floor of a Midtown Manhattan building and landed on a pile of garbage that was left uncollected after the snowstorm. [NYDN]

A 94-year-old Indian man is claiming that his 52-year-old wife gave birth to their son last month, which would make him the world's oldest father. Sources say the man is already asking his newborn son to keep his music down.

German doctors who gave an HIV-positive patient with leukemia a bone marrow transplant from a donor resistant to HIV infection claim that, four years later, the patient is free of both cancer and HIV. That is some strong marrow!

Three teenagers from the Tokelau islands disappeared on October 5 while rowing in the Pacific. After an extensive search by the New Zealand air force, the boys' families held memorial services. Yesterday, they were found alive by a fishing boat.

A private plane carrying a donated liver crashed and burst into flames today in Britain, injuring the two pilots. Rescue workers arrived on motorcycles, found the liver, and rushed it to the hospital where it was successfully transplanted. Damn. [ABC]

A Parisian baby fell out the window of her parent's apartment, plummeted six floors, bounced off an awning, then landed in the hands of a doctor who happened to be walking by. He checked her out. She is now fine.

A 10-year-old Chinese boy on Monday fell from the window of his family's 20th floor apartment and miraculously survived by crashing through the rear windshield of a car. China's Xinhua News reports a pillow in the backseat cushioned his head.

You know those stories about soldiers who carry bullet-stopping Bibles in their breast pockets? A guy in Harlem got shot today, but the cellphone in his pocket stopped the bullet. Maybe God found out that we call phones "Jesus" now?

To remove a tumor "the size of a calzone," doctors split a woman in half and attached her leg to her spine. They're calling it a "pogo stick" surgery, the first of its kind. The patient is in good spirits.

The Guardian is running a map during Pope Benedict's visit to the UK where people can report seeing the Popemobile, masses, protests and miracles. One user in north London reported seeing a "Cloud that looked like the Pope. I wept."

Some things are small miracles, like a child's smile. And then there are big miracles, like when a stolen fragment of the True Cross is returned by a mysterious transient, who disappears. How in-your-face does Jesus have to be? Jesus.

Are you an aspiring journalist desperately seeking employment to validate your perilous career choice? Good news: Newsday is hiring 34 reporters. Real jobs for real journalists! Working on Long Island is a small price to pay. [Romenesko]

A French tourist slipped off the edge of the Grand Canyon while taking pictures and fell 75 feet. But he survived! Now he has a great story to tell, and "Falling Into the Grand Canyon" has a Yelp review. [AP]

Jerry Douthett wouldn't get his severely infected toe examined. Then one night, after drinking "five or six beers" and "huge margaritas," he passed out and his dog, Kiko, crawled into bed and ate his big toe. It saved Jerry's life.

"A notorious American youth gang... has hit Sydney," writes Australian tabloid The Daily Telegraph. Is it the Bloods? The Crips? The Latin Kings? No, it's the fearsome Midwestern clowns the Juggalos, obsessive fans of face-painted rappers Insane Clown Posse.

Below is a video of just your average Burn 24-7 holy Jesus worship fest in Fort Mill, SC, with kids dancing and singing out their almost unbearable repressed sexual urges. And then, at the end... is that Will Ferrell?

Canadian air force Captain Brian Bews is a lucky man. While training for an air show, he was beginning a maneuver called a High Alpha pass when sparks shot from the engine. He bailed out seconds before the plane exploded.