You knew that Lindsay Lohan would drop DJ Samantha Ronson and her fedora for a man as sooner or later. You also knew that man-shark hybrid and 14-time Olympic gold medal-er Michael Phelps would dump America for one or many Hollywood starlets as soon as he got the hell out of China. But no one ever thought he'd run out on us for Lindsay freaking Lohan! But he will! She has magical powers!

Blake Lively signing autographs outside the David Letterman show ... Michelle Williams and daughter Matilda holding hands ... Katy Perry, the Pussycat Dolls, and Jesse McCartney performing in Rockefeller Center ... Kevin Jonas shopping with a bodyguard on Fifth Avenue ... Michael Phelps giving swimming lessons at an event at a YMCA ... Alec Baldwin shooting scenes for 30 Rock ... actress Kristen Johnston walking her dog through SoHo ... Jessica Szohr grabbing a bite to eat on the set of Gossip Girl ... and Katie Holmes saying goodbye to John Lithgow after the two had dinner downtown.

Prospects for ghost writers have suddenly improved as publishers scramble to sign up Olympic champions to write books about, presumably, focusing on your dreams and never giving up, no matter what. Michael Phelps' eight gold medals were topped off by a $1.6 million deal from Simon & Schuster for Built to Succeed, in which he'll "reveal the secrets of his success." Let's hope he can write as fast as he swims: according to the Post, the book is due on shelves in December. Meanwhile 18-year-old Russian gymnastics champion Anastasia "Nastia" Liukin (left) is in talks to write two books including, natch, an "inspirational memoir," for which she can draw on the journals she's sensibly been keeping in preparation for this very day.

• The war between News Corp. and NBC rages on. Today Page Six reports that Keith Olbermann is so concerned about being "assassinated," he's refusing to cover the Republican National Convention unless MSNBC springs for a more secure location. They also claim none of Luke Russert's new colleagues at NBC News like him, especially since he got to ride around the convention in golf carts while they had to walk. [P6, P6]

Fleeting fame continues! Michael Phelps, the richly be-medaled Olympian and Ariel the mermaid's half brother, will be making a cameo on HBO's Entourage this season. He could teach Vincent Chase a few things about pulling chicks, I'm sure. You know, when in the confines of a little village in a foreign country.

Samantha and Mark Ronson (left) headed to lunch at Bar Pitti ... Michael Phelps turning up for an appearance on CBS' The Early Show ... Kim Kardashian getting out of an SUV near Times Square ... Lindsay Lohan shooting scenes on the set of Ugly Betty ... Kate Hudson and son Ryder going for a walk through the Village ... Gerard Butler leaving a lunch in SoHo ... Katie Holmes leaving rehearsals ... Nina Garcia promoting her new book at an event at Saks ... and Adrian Grenier walking through Midtown.

[Moderately successful Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps on CBS' The Early Show this morning; image via WENN] SidAndFinancy's new line beats the original, "Medically Speaking, I Shouldn't Use My Crotch For Six Weeks. That's What the Olympic Village Doctor Told Me On My Last Day There."

• George Clooney's ex-girlfriend Sarah Larson may have cheated on the actor when she had a "weekend fling" with a "media mogul," although it appears she's paying for her crime since her new boyfriend is a lowly nightlife promoter named Joey Vanas. [P6]

"Phelps will host the sketch comedy series when it premieres Sept. 13, along with musical guest Lil Wayne." A trainwreck worth watching! [Live Feed]

Live From Beijing: Two weeks ago, when soliciting your help in casting Olympian Michael Phelps (thereby sparing him a terrible Hollywood future), we predicted of the athlete, "There's bound to be an awkward SNL-hosting stint yet to come." Today, TV Guide announced, "The Summer Olympics' outstandingly golden boy, swimmer Michael Phelps, will dive into not-ready-for-primetime television as the guest host of Saturday Night Live's 33rd season premiere." Were we simply prescient, or is Lorne Michaels now culling ideas from the digital pages of Defamer? If Phelps appears in a Saved By The Bell skit, perhaps we'll have our answer. [TV Guide]

"At least a half-dozen major publishers took a look before Dominick Anfuso, editorial director of Free Press, landed the deal... The narrative thread is expected to be the eight final swims of the 2008 games." You think? [Post]

• Michael Lohan is is convinced his daughter is drinking again, and that Lindsay's relationship with Samantha Ronson is to blame. In other Lohan family news, Samantha may be writing a book about her relationship with Lindsay—whose 48-year-old father recently popped the question to his 24-year-old girlfriend, Erin Muller. [MSNBC, E!, OK]

Catcher in the Rye: Why is every teenager still reading it? So asks an English teacher in Good Magazine who claims its only merits are that it is short, full of cuss words and wholly lacking in references to other books high schoolers have not read. Well, yeah!. Plus there are other literary works that have more cuss words and "social currency" than Catcher in the Rye. Like the Gossip Girl books and Lindsay Lohan's MySpace blog! So why won't it go away?My initial reaction to this would be that we read Catcher In The Rye because everyone on some level at some point loves Catcher In The Rye and we are fast running out of things we can say that about.* I am not quite sure why, I thought to myself upon scanning this essay. But high school will always need Salinger. Maybe because he actually himself had an eating disorder? I wasn't quite sure. And then I read this!

• Alessandra Ambrosio just gave birth, but she isn't wasting any time. She's reportedly already looking to sell pictures of her newborn daughter Anja to the tabloids. [P6]

• A visiting Kim Kardashian was rushed to New York-Presbyterian late last night after she cut her foot on a glass coffee table at her hotel. [TMZ]

"To the rest of the world, he's Michael Phelps, the American swimmer who snagged eight gold medals. But for most Chinese here, he's Maikeer Feierpusi." [WSJ]

Having taken our stern but loving admonitions against grabbing the first Hollywood opportunity that comes slithering his way, gilled Olympian phenom Michael Phelps appears to be enjoying the scenic route out of Beijing and into the bachelor lifestyle to which his 14 total gold medals entitle him. His ladyfriend roundelay reportedly peaked earlier this week with 20-year-old Australian swimmer and make-out enthusiast Stephanie Rice — herself one of her country's most celebrated young athletes and naughty Facebook page proprietors:

In the flurry of post-Olympic endorsement deals, swimmer Michael Phelps will write a book about his life leading up to his historic eight-gold win. It'll be published by Simon & Schuster imprint Free Press. Michael: please include some sex bits please. Maybe about all the sex everyone had in the Olympic Village. Thanks! [Yahoo]

• Two waitresses at 1Oak say they were fired from Scott Sartiano's club so that they could be replaced with white girls. Now they have a lawsuit in the works. [P6]

What does it take to sate Michael Phelps? The Olympic swimmer has 14 gold medals, world records, tens of millions of dollars in likely endorsement contracts and global adoration. Does he really have to make Australian swimmer Eamon Sullivan's life a living hell? Sullivan is already having a royally shitty week: He blew his shot at two gold medals for which he was widely favored, finishing one race in sixth place. Now he's known as the "deposed sprint king." And his ex-girlfriend, who JUST split with him like two weeks ago, was snogging with Phelps — more of a distance man, if you catch my drift — at the big Olympic swimmer party the other night. Everyone's totally talking about it, which does not make Sullivan feel warm and fuzzy, reports the Post: