When you go crawling back to the ex you moulded in the shape of another ex who wouldn't take you back, it's time for readjusting, not a wedding. Sharon Stone joins Law & Order: SVU, A-Rod hooks up. Gossip!

• Kate Hudson was supposedly holding out hope that she and Alex Rodriguez would reunite one day soon. But it looks like it may be time for Kate to let the dream die. A-Rod's new flame is a "gorgeous blonde" who he met at a gym in Miami. [P6]
• In happier celebrity couple news—and after months of schmoopy public displays of affection—Katy Perry and Russell Brand are now engaged. Brand reportedly proposed while in vacation in India, a trip they decided to take after Perry expressed her love for "Indian culture while they were eating curry." [Us]
• An autopsy has been performed on Casey Johnson, the socialite and pharma heiress who was discovered dead on Monday. There weren't any signs of trauma, but more should be revealed when toxicology tests are completed. In the meantime, friends of Johnson report she went into a diabetic coma on several occasions over the past year, "spent the last months of her life in a suicidal drug haze," and had been living in squalor up until her death, since her family had cut her off. Speaking of the Johnson clan, they're planning to have a private funeral for Casey later this week. [TMZ, NYP, NYDN, People]
• In other Johnson news, she was dealing with a long list of legal problems when she died, including a lawsuit by Porsche (for failing to keep up with her car payments), and another suit by a nanny service (which claimed it was owed money). As for fame addict Tila Tequila, her alleged fiancée, she's been busy posting to Twitter, recounting the "haunting visions" she's been having of Johnson and how they "made such a lovely couple." [TMZ, NYP, Us]

Vanity Fair's new Tiger Woods cover story doesn't have a Tiger interview, and its Tiger beefcake photos are all of pre-scandal vintage. It just makes us consider the tantalizing magazine story possibilities that are still waiting to be written.

A 72-year-old man decries his last chance to be baller. An update on Paris Hilton's sex life involves swine. Another posthumous Jacko release, and it's terrible. Tiger gives Elin $300M, and she laughs in his face. Monday gossip cometh.

Charlie Sheen's kids: staying with their mom. Michael Jackson's estate: being collected on by people worse than Joe Jackson. Alicia Keys and Arianna Huffington want places in the city. Kristen Bell gets a BAAAAW. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

It may seem a couple months late, but Spike Lee really takes "remembrance montages" to a whole new level in this music video. Despite the Michael Jackson media overload, this is a really beautiful tribute to the King of Pop.

If Access Hollywood's Monday broadcast was a Tragedy in Four Acts, tonight's show was the requisite epilogue. In dealing with the death of Brittany Murphy, Access not only upped its speculation about the cause, but also involved America. Yikes.

Writes the tipster who spotted the typo currently on NYPost.com: "If only 'Michael Jackson' were easy to spell, like 'Tiger Woods.'" Which is funny, except practically no one is working in media today, including here — expect light posting.

• Brittany Murphy's funeral has been scheduled for tomorrow, Christmas Eve. In other Brittany news, her super-sketchy husband Simon Monjack, who indicated initially that he didn't want an autopsy to be performed on Murphy, now says he wants to know exactly what caused her death, although he also says he's sure it didn't have anything to do with her having a drug problem or eating disorder of any kind; the coroner in LA is completely baffled how information about Murphy's giant cache of prescription drugs made its way to TMZ and says he's planning a full investigation; and in what may be the most twisted development of the day, it seems Murphy's LA home has already been added to a "Haunted Hollywood" tour.
• Poor Mischa Barton. She showed up at the Whole Foods in Soho with her Shih-Pom, Ziggy, and was then informed that the store doesn't permit dogs inside, even those that happen to belong to semi-famous people. [NYDN]
• Steven Tyler of Aerosmith says he's been addicted to painkillers for years and is now heading to rehab. [People]

The files released by the FBI today relating to Michael Jackson don't appear to contain too much new information, but they do reveal the extent to which the feds helped Santa Barbara prosecutors go after him for child molestation.

The FBI has released 333 pages of files on Michael Jackson. We're reading them now and will do a post later this afternoon. But if you want to take a look as well, please let us know what you find.

Who hasn't slept with Tiger Woods? An actress who debuted in The Wonder Years, then went on to OMG Stop Tickling Me joins Tiger's stable; Lohan looks surprisingly hot in a faux-threesome; reality stars eat rats. Monday gossip ahoy!

Art Basel Miami kicked off today and everyone who's anyone in the art world—from dealers to collectors to professional party-hoppers—has now headed south and Miami is now even more awash with air kisses and insincere compliments. (If you're in town and looking to crash a good party, head over to the event that Peter Brant, Aby Rosen and Alberto Mugrabi are hosting this evening; it's expected to be one of the fair's highlights.)

So this Italian-American advocacy group, right? It says to MTV: "Hey, I think your show 'Jersey Shore' is racist against Italians." And MTV says, "Oh yeah? Why don't you come over and talk to one of our stars about this?"

• The deal between Comcast and GE to hand over control of NBC Universal to the cable giant is done; an announcement may come Thursday. [CNBC]
• Job cuts hit Gannett today; USA Today is reducing its staff by 5 percent. [AP]
• So much for Lou Dobbs moving over to CNBC. The cable network now says it has no plans to hire the ex-CNN anchor/possible political candidate. [NYT]
• Will Bravo get into trouble if it goes ahead and casts White House state dinner crashers Tareq and Michaele Salahi on The Real Housewives of DC? Did the Today land an interview with the couple because of their pending deal with sister network Bravo? So many questions, so few answers. [NYDN, Gawker]

What could possibly be a more fitting tribute to the King Of Pop than an 8-bit music video version of '80s hit "Thriller?" Nothing.

The King of Pop, in his infinite grace and wisdom, has returned to the mortal realm by making his face appear in an ultrasound of fetus inside a British lady's uterus.

• The feud between Al Roker and America's most despicable couple continues. After the Today show canceled an interview with Spencer and Heidi Pratt, Spencer took to Twitter to air his rage: "I thought you were out of town getting your stomache [sic] staped [sic] again... Do you always look like your [sic] about to die?" One thing that's clear here: Spencer should have paid more attention in English class. [Us]
• Brat Packer Anthony Michael Hall—who is about to kick off a guest stint on NBC's Community—has been ordered to stay away from his ex, Diana Falzone, a "relationship expert" who writes for the Huffington Post and hosts a show on Sirius. Falzone was granted a restraining order after Hall allegedly broke down her door last week and "bashed her head against a wall." [P6]
• Nicole Richie and Joel Madden secured a restraining order against two paparazzi who Richie says have been harassing her. Is it just us, or are restraining orders becoming all the rage? [TMZ]
• MTV has premiered Beyoncé's new video for "Video Phone" featuring a special guest appearance by Lady Gaga. In a surprising twist, it's Lady Gaga who looks fairly normal and Beyoncé who looks a little freaky. [MTV, NYP]

• Was Lindsay Lohan dating Heath Ledger at the time of his death? That was what came out yesterday when the latest clip from Michael Lohan's vast archive of recorded phone conversations was posted online. (Dina Lohan can be heard expressing concern that Lindsay was headed down the same path.) On tap for today? A call between Dina and Michael in which she tells her ex-husband that Lindsay has been cutting herself. [NYDN, NYP, Radar]
• Alleged David Letterman extortionist Robert "Joe" Halderman appeared in court yesterday where his lawyer asked a judge to drop all the charges against the former news producer. The reason? Halderman's $2 million demand wasn't blackmail, silly. It was a legitimate business proposal in which Letterman could have first dibs on his screenplay, naturally. [NYP, NYDN, TMZ]
• Rihanna says she put on the tightest dress she could find to pick up Glamour's Woman of the Year award on Monday night at Carnegie Hall. She also spent $50,000 flying in her mom, aunts and brothers from Barbados to join her at the event. One person who was missing from the festivities: Her dad, who RiRi recently said abused her mom while growing up. [P6, NYDN]

Michael Jackson's death continues to form effortless metaphors for his life. At his private family funeral the remaining Jacksons were charged $35,000 for 'burial garments', $21,455 for food and $3682 for a framed picture, among other ludicrous inflations.