Yesterday, Debbie Rowe's lawyer demanded that the New York Post retract its claim that she sold her kids to Katherine Jackson for $4 million. Today the Post dug in.

Kim Cattrall breaks up with her man, Will and Jada Smith have lots of sex, Chace Crawford is moving out of Ed Westwick's place to get his own apartment downtown and Megan Fox is shopping for a house.

The New York Post is facing a demand for retraction from Debbie Rowe's attorney over a story in today's paper, and it's choosing an odd way to defend itself: By relying on the reporting of its arch-rival, the Daily News.

Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson, Quentin Tarantino talks retirement, Larry King's wife eyes a Broadway role, Renee Zellweger can't get laid, Megan Fox has to get drunk to watch her movies and Lindsay Lohan's hair is falling out.

In what is possibly the most bizarre coupling since Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley married, Sarah Palin and the Washington Post have come together as one and given birth to a Sarah Palin Washington Post op-ed piece. Yeah.

Eva Longoria is delightfully kinky, Leo DiCaprio is cruising for new tail, Lily Allen proclaims her desire to bone a rocker, Victoria Beckham is taking acting classes, Emma Watson and Robert Pattinson are "just friends," and Demi hits the beach.

• Are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie moving to NYC and into a giant apartment at the Apthorp? That's the rumor! [NYDN]
• The good news/bad news for Madonna: She's getting along much better with her ex, Guy Ritchie, which is a good thing. Unfortunately, the reconciliation isn't making Madonna's boyfriend, Jesus Luz, very happy. [DM]
• After six months in St. Lucia, Amy Winehouse is lonely, homesick, and deeply unpopular with the locals. So now she may return to the U.K. where she's totally adored, naturally, [DE]
• Boys will be boys: Leonardo DiCaprio looked like he was "on the prowl" in NYC last week. And Jeremy Piven looked like he was "ogling" Hayden Panettiere the other night. [P6, P6]

Since Michael Jackson died you've probably lost sleep wondering, "I wonder what he'd have looked if he hadn't f-ed himself all up with plastic surgery?" Well now, thanks to the work of some forensic artists, you can know.

Brad and Angelina want to move to the Upper West Side, I'd prefer they didn't. Shirley Jones wants to get naked; same. Piven's a perv, Shatner's sad, Paul McCartney sucks, Stevie Wonder does blow! Here's your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

• More data about the Biggest Television Event Ever™: Some 31 million people tuned into the Jackson memorial on TV, and video sites report that they delivered more than 10 million live streams on Tuesday. [THR, VB]
• One TV person not pleased with all the Jackson coverage: Conan O'Brien, whose new Tonight Show has seen ratings drop as a result. [NYT]
• News Corp. has paid more than $1.6 million to settle court cases involving reporters in Britain who hacked into public figures' cell phones. [Guardian]
• Is Liberty Media going to bail out Harvey Weinstein? Let's hope so. [NYP]
• None of the major media companies appear keen on buying Twitter. [LAT]
• Comedy Central has ordered up a sitcom starring Napoleon Dynamite's Jon Heder, which will be produced by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay. [B&C]
• The title of Michael Moore's new movie: Capitalism: A Love Story. [NYDN]

Michael Jackson's brain was not with his body in the golden coffin, Justin Timberlake wants to write a book about golf, Jason Bateman talks addiction, Russell Brand breaks his celibacy vow and Jason Lee fights at Max Fish.

• The fashion publicist/socialite who moonlighted as a computer hacker? This is going to make for a fabulous movie. It seems Ali Wise (right), the Dolce & Gabanna public relations director, professional socializer, and ex-girlfriend of hotelier Jason Pomeranc was arrested this week for using her computer to wiretap and eavesdrop on interior designer/social butterfly Nina Freudenberger (left). The worst part? Wise was held overnight in an jail cell and wasn't given any special treatment, poor thing. [NYDN, P6]
• Wise wasn't the only nightlife fixture behind bars this week. Wass Stevens, NYC's most famous club doorman, was arrested for whacking a man with the metal end of a velvet rope outside Noah Tepperberg and Jason Strauss's Avenue the other night. Stevens says the man acted up when he was refused entry, which sounds a pretty likely scenario. [P6]

In your woebegone Wednesday media column: the WSJ takes on the NYT's culture section in a total death match, TV networks not upset they lost $23 in ad money covering MJ, more Hobo New York Times coverage, and newspapers burn.

MSNBC's Contessa Brewer devoted a segment this morning to divining the numerological mystery that was—is?—Michael Jackson. His first and last names each have seven letters, for instance. And behold, people—"seven is, like, the number of G-d."

• How many networks covered the Jackson memorial? Count 'em yourself: ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, HLN, MTV, VH1, VH1 Classic, VH1Soul, BET, E!, TV Guide, TV One, Univision and Telemundo. [AdWeek]
• The WSJ is planning a weekly New York-only arts-and-culture section. [NYO]
• Condé Nast will launch a version of GQ in China in October. At last! [NYT]
• The view from Sun Valley: Barry Diller doesn't think Twitter is ever going to make any money. But Disney chief Bob Iger says we're all going to be paying for online content in the near future. So everyone is in agreement. [WSJ, WSJ]
• OK!'s $500K cover of a dying Michael Jackson wasn't a big hit. [DF]
• The New York Times has pulled down a gallery of photos that had been digitally manipulated, presumably without its knowledge. [E&P]
• Coming in 2010: An entire cable channel devoted to Olympic sports. [THR]
• The adult entertainment industry is phasing out "narrative arcs" and dialogue, and it's supposedly because the Internet has shortened attention spans. [NYT]

With all of this tabloid love for Michael Jackson today, which brave soul shall stand up and proudly fly the "Sicko!" banner of dissent? Hark! Andrea Peyser still exists.

Lilo stole the formula for her spray-tan product and passed on a starring role in The Hangover, Britney Spears visits the Eiffel Tower, Mischa Barton's wisdom teeth are making her bloated and Megan Fox steps out in an Armani dress.

The first Jackson-related book was published last weekend—apparently two Chinese writers "slaved for 48 hours straight," subsisting "on a diet of coffee and cigarettes" to finish it. But a quick look at Publishers Marketplace indicates many more are on the way, including one that will be on sale as early as next week. Let the feeding frenzy begin:

• Sharon Stone is denying reports she was detained by the police after she getting into a fight with a flight attendant on a trip to Salt Lake City. Yes, she says, she did get into an argument, but the cops who met her when her plane landed were just there to protect her from hoardes of "autograph seekers." That makes sense! [Independent]
• Count Alex de Lesseps is throwing cold water on the rumor he's reuniting with his wife, "Real Housewife" LuAnn de Lesseps. [P6]
• Beyoncé comes out on top of Forbes' new list of top-earning celebs under the age of 30. The triple-threat is estimated to have brought home $87 million over the past year. [Mirror]

Ah Bill O'Reilly. God bless him. Tonight he opened his show stating that Michael Jackson's family should be left alone and allowed to grieve. Naturally, he then turned right around and ripped Jackson to shreds for everything imaginable.