• Remember when Bethenny Frankel announced a few weeks ago that she was engaged to "a real estate bigwig" named Jason Hoppy? According to one "insider," the engagement may be a big publicity stunt, and Hoppy may be a "medical sales rep/personal trainer," not some property-owning master of the universe. [Fox News]
• A treasure trove of Madonna memorabilia, collected by one of her long lost ex-boyfriends, is going up for auction. Yes, 17 minutes of "erotic phone messages" could soon be yours. [P6, NYDN]
• Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush have broken up. Tragic! [People]
• It looks like Dr. Conrad Murray gave Michael Jackson a dose of the powerful anesthetic propofol right before his death and that was what killed him. And it looks like Murray could face manslaughter charges because of it. [TMZ, NYDN]
• Mischa Baron says she's feeling better and is ready to go back to work. [Us]

Hey remember that entertainer person who died a few weeks ago? What was his name again—oh yeah, Michael Jackson! Well it looks like forensic investigators looking into his death are finally putting together the pieces of the puzzle.

Your creepy Michael Jackson shrine is missing something, isn't it? You have that glove he threw "to you" at that concert 20 years ago. You have that lock of greasy hair. So what is it? We know! An "authorized" lithograph!

Orlando Bloom passes on playing Will Turner to be with his girlfriend, Megan Fox thinks zombies are sexy, Tara Reid is quite skinny, Paris Hilton claims to have inspired Michael Jackson and Amy Winehouse almost dies after a binge.

• Poor J. Lo. She threw a big 40th birthday party for herself over the weekend and some guests actually had the nerve to show up late! [NYDN]
• It's been a rough ride for Kate Major, the former Star reporter who said she was Jon Gosselin were in love. On Saturday, Gosselin said he was single; on Sunday, the tabloids suggested Major was a former escort. So now she's supposedly planning to get revenge by writing a tell-all. [People, NYDN, NYDN]
• In other Gosselin news, he was seen buying himself $950 wingtips over the weekend, or "two pairs of shoes for each of his kids." [P6]
• Although they've been dating for months now (and haven't exactly been doing a very good job of keeping their relationship a secret), Kate Hudson and A-Rod went public with their romance on Saturday. [NYDN]

The intellectualization of Michael Jackson as icon starts in earnest today with The New Yorker theater critic Hilton Als' queer theory read on his career in The New York Review of Books. The only problem is, Jackson wasn't gay.

Jon Gosselin's pissed Kate Major's lying about them being together. Another parent peddles her kids for money when really, she should be a Spider Man villain. Lindsay Lohan gives me Gwyneth's GOOPy runs. Happy Saturday Morning, here we go:

• This may look like a still from a new Angelina Jolie movie. But it's not. It's the real Angelina Jolie, who made her third trip to Iraq this week and also stopped off in Jordan. What's she doing? She's saving the world, don't you know that? [NYDN]
• Kate Major, the ex-Star reporter who's been seen in the company of Jon Gosselin, might be out to be famous. Unbelievable! [NYDN]
• The Jackson family is out of money. That sure was quick, huh? [NYDN]

Diddy or Sean Combs or whatever was one of Letterman's guests last night and he shared an interesting story about a time when Michael Jackson showed up unannounced at one of his famed White Parties.

• How does he find the time? It looks like Jon Gosselin has dumped his girlfriend from five minutes ago and is now focusing his attention on Star reporter Kate Major. (For this week, at least.) In what sounds like the most nausea-inducing meal ever, Gosselin and Major had dinner in the Hamptons last night with Michael Lohan and Jill and Bobby Zarin. [People, Star, Us]
• Rumor has it Gossip Girl's Jessica Szohr and Ed Westwick have split up. [P6]
• Jude Law got into a scuffle with a paparazzo last night. [Sun]
• Mischa Barton's publicist has been busy trying to land the troubled actress the cover of a weekly tabloid. Sadly, there have been no takers so far. [P6]

Michael Jackson may have a secret child, Billy Joel gets a rebound girl, Ruth Madoff travels in ripped jeans and a baseball cap, Britney Spears' father pronounces his daughter completely sane and Sienna Miller goes off on an interviewer.

• Is Andre Balazs the latest man to fall victim to Kelly Bensimon's feminine charms? Life & Style reports the hotelier and the "housewife" were seen getting cozy in Miami recently. [L&S]
• Kiefer Sutherland is in the clear. Prosecutors have dropped charges against him in connection with his assault on Jack McCollough back in May, since the designer has proved to be an "uncooperative witness." [NYDN]
• Mischa Barton is still in the hospital and may lose the role on the TV show that she was supposed to start filming this week. So what made her snap? In addition to all the drug stuff, she may be suffering from body image issues, too. [Sun, People]
• Ruth Madoff was supposedly spotted at LaGuardia en route to visit her husband in jail. And she was supposedly wearing ripped jeans, too. [P6]

Cameron Diaz is a playa, Jessica Simpson drowns her dumping sorrows with friends, Lilo and Sam Ronson engage in an epic fight over Drea De Matteo, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy are engaged and Jeffrey Donovan get a DUI.

• News of Walter Cronkite's death on Friday evening didn't generate a Michael Jackson-like reaction, but the hour-long CBS News special honoring him on Sunday proved a ratings winner. In related news, the network will continue airing Cronkite's voice-over introducing the CBS Evening News. [NYT, NYT]
• Is Janice Min leaving Us Weekly? That's the rumor, at least. [P6]
• Fashion magazines are looking a little thin this fall, not surprisingly. [MW]
• Padma Lakshmi is in talks with NBC to star in a sitcom. [Variety]
• More changes are afoot at Interview: Evan Schindler is the troubled mag's new president. And Stephen Mooallem has been named editor-in-chief. [NYT]
• As expected, the new Harry Potter movie mopped up at the box office this weekend with $79.5 million in ticket sales. The big loser? Brüno, which fell to fourth place as sales plummeted 73 percent. [EW, Variety]

Jon Gosselin just can't get enough ass, the Bush daughters were unholy terrors for the Secret Service, some Russian guy is sending death threats to Britney Spears, Michael Jackson's doctor is in hiding and Cameron Diaz parties with Jude Law.

Jon, Kate, and the Cabal of 8 hit the streets of New York and their crew's already beefing with people. Also, Robert Pattinson's a shitty tipper, 50 Cent's a shitty real estate buyer, Mischa Barton's sad and crazy. Happy Sunday!

If they only had a heart. Upon seeing this week's spine-tingling video of Michael Jackson's '84 Pepsi ad accident, Pepsi and vid director Bob Giraldi don't give a shit. The international moment of dead pop star respect is officially finito.

Britney Spears spent two days in Atlanta with some mystery dude, Michael Jackson's doctor is being investigated for murder, Brad Pitt puts Ashton Kutcher in his place, Renee Zellweger prepares to get fat again, and Madonna's tour suffers a tragedy.

Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are probably boning, Mischa Barton has a serious "medical issue," Jon Gosselin's new lady is a walking white-trash stereotype, The Hoff parties with Lady Gaga, Madonna has "bingo wings" and Robert Redford gets married.

Oh, holy god. Remember when Michael Jackson's hair caught on fire while filming a Pepsi commercial in 1984? Well Us Weekly got the harrowing footage and claims the injury spurred his terrible painkiller addiction. His head just... catches on fire.