Remember last week, when Jay McInerney got all huffy in New York magazine about how seriously lame the Upper East Side has gotten lately? (We're talking "seriously lame" among a group of people you probably don't have the social cachet, or the cash, or come to think of it, the desire, to be a part of. But we digress.) Anyway, today Michael Gross—740 Park, etc., etc.—posted a retort to McInerney's blowharding, claiming that he had to flee downtown because it was getting overrun with not our kind of people. A snippet:

Click to enlarge and hate your life.

The NYT's Joyce Wadler, who did the best Hilton sisters interview I've seen yet, ran the first-ever NYT blind item last week. The target? Gossip columnist Michael Gross. ("What local ink-stained columnist had his publicist call around to say copies of his unauthorized biography of a top American fashion designer would be distributed in the street, after the designer's show on Friday?") Doesn't it seem a little too meta when gossip columnists are writing about gossip columnists in their gossip columns? It's like having gossipy gossip growing out of your gossip. Not that we're complaining, necessarily.
Times goes blind [Observer]

LookOnline outs Michael Gross's blind item from yesterday as being Nadine Johnson, fashion flak and wife (or soon-to-be ex) of Page Six columnist Richard Johnson. Writes LookOnline, "Michael Gross stature as a great writer for him to stoop to the level of say hintmag's gossip monger Horacio Silva is very sad." Incidentally, sitting on my desk is an invite to the Project Alabama show on Friday. The return address reads "Nadine Johnson."

Gawker gets the Michael Gross treatment, in a item dubbed Fashion Tweak.

Chic Happenswhere the "weekly" bit of "updated weekly" is some nebulous subjective reality meaning "quarterly" or "annually" or "ohhhh, whenever the fuck we feel like it"reports that Michael Gross's recent interview with the NY Post isn't running. Gross, the author of the NY Daily News' weekly gossip column "The Word," recently authored the not-so-flattering book about Ralph Lauren, Genuine Authentic, which is being published by Harper Collins. Rupert Murdoch owns both the Post and Harper Collins, which means that run-the-interview or don't-run-the-interview, he's shooting himself in the foot. Which is sort of entertaining.
Short attention span [Chic Happens]

Michael Gross speculates that Roman Polanksi's lawsuit against Vanity Fair may be a hot press item because other stakeholders are pushing itpeople who have an interest in making sure The Pianist doesn't get an Oscar. In other news, Gross reports that realtor Deborah Grubman has jumped to Corcoran; flak Bobby Zarem is still working; and a new book about independent NY producer Sam Spiegel reveals the darker side of Spiegel's successes.
The Word [NY Daily News]

The NYT's Cathy Horyn reviews two recently released books about Ralph LaurenGenuine Authentic (HarperCollins), by Michael Gross, and Ralph Lauren: The Man, the Vision, the Style (Rizzoli), by Colin McDowell. McDowell's book, a not-so-sophisticated exercise in literary brownnosing, portrays Lauren as a Bronx-born Horatio Algier who "mesmerizes the American public." (I don't recall ever being mesmerized by a Polo shirt, but I'm not saying it can't happen.) Gross's book is much less flattering. The Ralph Lauren portrayed in Genuine Authentic is a cranky narcissist followed by hordes of "Poloroids" who exacerbate his moodiness by failing to sufficiently praise him. Both books evoke an image of Lauren as Jay Gatsby. For McDowell, it's the glamorous, charming, and charismatic Gatsby. For Gross, it's the delusional, asocial, and reckless Gatsby.
Chasing the threads in the life of Ralph Lauren [NYT]

The NY Daily News reports that Magnum Sports & Entertainment's $22 million acquisition of Ford Models never happenedand probably won't. Michael Gross writes that "Magnum failed to come up with the cash." Ford, in its heyday, was home to supermodels Rachel Hunter, Christie Brinkley, and Stephanie Seymour. The deal included more than 80% of the Ford family's equity, which was perhaps indicative of the company's struggle in recent years to attract new talent. The potential acquirer was in much worse shape and Katie Ford is probably thanking her lucky superstars that the transaction never happened. The $22 million was mostly equity, and Magnum's stock is currently trading at $0.002 a share.

Michael Gross's new book, Genuine Authentic: The Real Life of Ralph Lauren, reveals that Lauren had a long-running affair with model Kim Nye, even going to so far as to put her up in an apartment around the corner from his own. The book details the relationship and its repercussions as well as Lauren's personal history. Gross also explores Lauren's controversial decision to change his surname from Lifshitz (proving thereby that in America, even Jewish immigrants can grow up to be Connecticut WASPs.)
Ralph's odorous secret [NY Daily News]