It was only a matter of time before New York's resident axe-lady Vanessa Grigoriadis (who, we might add, did not ghostwrite Nicole Richie's book) got on the Peter Braunstein bus — and when she did, by God, she took the wheel and drove that bus straight to Cape fucking Fear. The cover story reveals the disturbing extent to which the alleged fireman/molester and former Women's Wear Daily writer harbored his obsessions but, ultimately, doesn't tell us anything we didn't already know. Dude's a sick puppy — here's a gazillion words on the matter.

Friday:
• The Museum of the Moving Image screens Bertolucci's The Conformist tonight through Sunday. If facism and twisted sex aren't quite your style, Rent and the Ice Harvest are also playing this holiday weekend. [flavorpill & TONY]
• Beyond the Mirror marks the first American-Afghani theater collaboration in history, incorporating first-hand accounts, film, dance, and music into a reflection on turmoil and hope in Afghanistan. They had to come all the way here just to dance — very Footloose. [Upcoming]
Saturday:
• "Paper Engineer" Robert Sabuda demonstrates his celebrated pop-up books this afternoon. We aren't familiar with pop-ups beyond the adult genre, but apparently Mr. Sabuda does wonderful work with winter images and dinosaurs. Channel your inner geek at Books of Wonder from 12 to 2. [Upcoming]
• Flavorpill classifies tonight's Kevin Blechdom and Planningtorock w/ My Robot Friend concert under the genre of "Freakshow," and quite frankly, we can't top that. [flavorpill]
Sunday:
• Finally returned from the wilds of middle America and desperate to get your hipster on? DJ Olive's "forward-thinking exploration of turntablism called 'vinyl scores,'" should do the trick. Rediscover culture with two sets tonight at The Stone. [flavorpill]

We haven't watched the Thanksgiving Day parade on television for probably a solid two decades, but when we glanced at this morning's papers we began to regret avoiding the broadcast this year. There was, it seems, a "Holi-Daze" "Lights Out" at the parade yesterday, a "narrowly avoided" disaster that was caused when a giant (and, apparently, angry) M&M careened into a lamppost in Times Square and sent a 30-pound lighting fixture falling onto two sisters watching the parade below.

On Monday, we pointed out a Craigslist post detailing — at insane lengths — the author's thoughts on the possible location of sexual assault suspect Peter Braunstein. Shortly after we published and linked to the original post, it was removed.

• Mulitplex 2, opening today at the new Smack Mellon space in DUMBO, is "an intellectually rigorous investigation of video art and the complex dynamics behind the consumption of popular media such as television, cinema, and radio." Someone actually attempting to validate the amount of time we spend cracking Lindsay Lohan jokes? Sign us up. [flavorpill]
• Nothing says Thanksgiving like a schizo staging a bank robbery with a cracked-out puppet. Agree? Check out A Most Particularly Peculiar Bank Heist tonight at the Pioneer Theatre. [MsDivine]
• Famous-by-engagement DJ AM performs tonight at Avalon. Yeah, Nicole Richie might be there, but we're really hoping for a ghostwriter spotting. We assume he/she will be the one alone in the corner slogging back vodka and lamenting the fact that knowing every word in the dictionary still doesn't make you socially apt. Not that we can relate or anything. [Paper]

Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

Oh, good. It just doesn't feel like New York these days unless there's a political fight going on about a stadium. The Post reports today:

Taken late last night at Astor Place.
Our old friend, the subway sign prankster, is back with his morning rush-hour attempts at bringing you cheer — because it's fucking Draconian that any of us are working today.

• NY Press hosts a launch for the new website MyOpenBar.com with — you guessed it — an open bar. Hit up the Delancey for free booze from 9-11 and 2-3. [MyOpenBar]
• Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie fame takes time out of his busy O.C.-approved schedule to appear with Styrofoam and members of American Analog set tonight at the Knitting Factory. [flavorpill]
• Because torturing unassuming straight men wasn't enough, Queer Eye's Carson Kressley has written a book for children. Hear him read from You're Different and That's Super tonight at Borders at Columbus Circle. [Paper]

Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

• Britney Spears and Kevin Federline come to New York, where they take in a show, binge drink, and enjoy the city's world-renowned acrylic nail applications. [Page Six]
• At the rehearsal dinner for his wedding to Christina Aguilera, Jordan Bratman thanked his parents for his "good looks and large [cock]," as well as for raising him to be a total retard. [R&M]
• When she's not bouncing around, baring her mosquito bites, Kate Moss hits Barcelona and St. Barths. Yeah, that whole cocaine thing really destroyed her life. [Page Six]
• When asked whether she thought Nicole Richie had gotten too thin, Joan Rivers responded, "I truly don t watch any of that group of girls. I find that whole group to be such low-rent, it really doesn t interest me at all. What have they done?" [Scoop]
• We know it's a holiday week, and our brains, too, are already on mental vacation — but why is Lowdown writing about Bratz dolls? Did Brangelina buy one or something? Why is this gossip? [Lowdown]

• She won't be on the cover of Time (we think) for another few weeks, but the face of Mother Nature, Bea Arthur herself, does a one-night-only reprisal of her 2002 Broadway show tonight to benefit the Ali Forney Center, which provides housing for LGBT youth. We didn't think Mother Nature cared much for the minorities these days, but then again, gay kids are the reason Golden Girls is still in syndication. [AFC]
• Folk singer Erin McKeown, who takes the stage tonight at Joe's Pub, promises with her latest album that "we will become like birds." Fine, as long as we don't become the ones with that flu. [flavorpill]
• Two designers face-off tonight in the LVHRD Second Annual Master-Disaster Fashion Duel Creative, transforming crap to couture right before your very eyes in an hour's time. Alternatively, you can skip the creative process and hit up the Carolina Herrera sample sale for something you might actually wear. [Paper]

Our attention has been directed to a creepy post made on Craigslist yesterday regarding sexual assault suspect Peter Braunstein. While we normally wouldn't be especially intrigued by a Casual Encounters user's insights on Braunstein, we found the following to be so incredibly detailed, lengthy and thoughtful that, for a moment, we wondered if the author was very, very close to the suspect.

Noticed Friday night on Seventh Avenue South, just north of Bleecker Street.

While NYPD spent the early hours of this morning hunting for Braunstein in Cobble Hill, yesterday's Post revealed that former journalist and suspected fireman/molester Peter Braunstein bought 8.8 pounds of potassium nitrate (or saltpeter) on internet auction site eBay. When combined with various materials, saltpeter can be used to make anything from smoke bombs to pipe bombs — which may have been what Braunstein used to create small fires outside of him victim's apartment, or he could still be holding on to his stash for later use.

He said, she said.

The Daily News reports the sad finding that more and more New Yorker are finding it difficult to afford the food they need. Particularly troubling are these facts:

According to a reader, who we have no reason to believe this other than our longing to believe in something, anything, the happy fellow at right just might be the Fake Jason Lewis. (Refresher: Through a series of text messages, Fake Jason Lewis tricked Lindsay Lohan into thinking he was the actor of the same name, resulting in a week of misguided SMS flirting.)

Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

Friday:
• The Barbie Project, showing tonight and tomorrow at the Ohio Theatre, presents grown-up reflections on the "Barbie experience" through monologue, song, poetry, dance, and audience participation. A Barbie doll is provided; bring your own Dream House and negative body image. [flavorpill]
• Neil Jordan combines the obvious themes of "transgenderism and the IRA" in Breakfast on Pluto, a film chronicling the coming-of-age of an Irish tranny played by Cillian Murprhy. If you prefer bad Southern accents to Irish ones, Joaquin Pheonix and Reese Witherspoon star as prettier versions of Johnny and June Carter Cash in biopic Walk The Line, opening today. [Paper & TONY]
Saturday:
• Chicks on Speed is in fact the band, rather than the audience, expected at the Knitting Factory tonight with Kevin Blechdom. (Though we wouldn't be surprised by a few spectators with the same sobriquet.) [flavorpill]
• Shift of genre: Bravo Silva is throwing a CD release party at the Syrup Room in Williamsburg. The L train is a-runnin', there'll be a few other bands, and there are lots of other nice logistical and entertainment perks, but here's what you really need to know: FREE BEER from 9-10 and 2-3. [Syrup Room]
Sunday:
• American Analog Set finishes its whirlwind Big City tour (they came all the way from Texas, y'all) with a second show at the Mercury Theater tonight. Put on your "Fuck you, we couldn't get tickets to Animal Collective" best and show them what this town is all about. [ML]