• Tonight at the quite arbitrary time of 8:45, "Conversationalist comedian" Andrew Lederer does a fundraising preview of his show "Anthology." Skip your latte and donate a couple dollars to the cause. [MySpace]
• The African All-Star Festival features Konono N 1 for your percussion pleasure. Every Monday needs a little likembe. [flavorpill]
• Enjoy the chance to sit outside for more than 5 seconds without passing out by hitting up a free screening of The Band Wagon. [WUNYC]

If you've seen the sign above, you probably wondered at its provenance and meaning. Blogger The Reeler sorts it all out for you:

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

Friday:
• Os Mutantes, Brazilian 60s pop superstars, play Webster Hall in a reunion tour of sorts. Slap on your Havaianas and join the fun. [flavorpill]
• For those of you who always wondered whether that little flashing red light in the corner was a camera: tonight's sex series at the Anthology Film Archives features "Captured: A Film/Video History of the Lower East Side." [Paper]

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map — which, by the by, is up and running again, so please resume sending your stalking adventures to tips@gawker.com. Really, people, we're emotionally devastated by the lack of sightings in the box today. GO OUTSIDE. FIND THE FAMOUS PEOPLE.

• Movies with a View screens the Hitchcock classic Strangers on a Train. Make sure to bring a subway buddy for the ride home. [flavorpill]
• The Sugarhill Gang performs for free tonight. BYO cutesy grandma. [Upcoming]
• Monsters are Waiting performs tonight at Pianos. Go get your 2003 on. [Paper]

• Boy reporter Gabe Sherman bids farewell to the Observer, leaving Off the Record a little more empty and the comics a little more funny. [NYO]
• Only in the hipper enclaves of Brooklyn can one live in a non-residential building, refuse to pay rent, and not be considered a freeloading squatter. That said, we're still completely jealous. [VV]
• Paris Hilton ignites a low speed car chase, gets off with a warning. [TMZ]
• Project Runway has elevated Parsons' status and made Tim Gunn into some sort of molassess-throated demi-god. [Inside Higher Ed]
• Toby Young will bash Vanity Fair at any chance he gets. Even if it means doing a podcast. [CultureCatch]
• A CVS in Ocean City is almost as frustratingly retarded as any Duane Reade in Manhattan. [Muk Report]
• Bids on a photograph of Kimora Lee Simmons kissing Oscar de la Renta start at $625 — having Anna Wintour in the background jacked up the price. [Animal]
• Just because: Pat O'Brien's girlfriend's blog. If you remember Betsy being "so motherfucking hot," this may have some degree of relevance to you. Or not. [B for Betsy via TWS]
• New York just has, like, this vibe, you know? Like this positivity and DJs and shit. [NME]

It's back! Our Gawker Stalker Map has been resurrected from the dead, revived and refreshed and ready for your obsessive-compulsive enjoyment. Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

• The UCB kids take to the Great Outdoors with a free spazzfest at Central Park Summerstage. Don't knock it 'til you've paid for it. [Upcoming]
• Bravo Silva plays with a band that has a guy from Broken Social Scene. Next week: six degrees of Neutral Milk Hotel. [Paper]
• Strange Powers features art inspired by the eerie, other-worldly side. You know, like your roommate's closet. [flavorpill]

In New York magazine's cover story this week about the lonely and nasty ladies of UrbanBaby.com, Emily Nussbaum writes, "the island seems to be filling up with strollers at precisely the moment when the sidewalks have narrowed." The Observer's Real Estate blog, however, contacted New York City Department of Transportation spokesperson Craig Chin, who said that the sidewalks are set at a minimum of five feet, and they most certainly have not grown narrower. If anything, according to the Department of Urban Planning, the sidewalks have grown wider in more densely populated areas.

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map (when it's actually functioning, that is). This is our occasional, old-school compilation. Send your sightings to tips@gawker.com.

• "China's most progressive multimedia artists" try to make that title more than just a relative term with S[CR]EE[N]ING CHINA. [flavorpill]
• Nothing says 30th Birthday Party like a roller disco. P.S.1 kicks off a year of rocking birthday parties tonight at the Roxy. [Paper]
• Talib Kweli makes the line at the Apple Store that much longer. [WUNYC]

• For once, watching cartoons is not limited to stoners. BAM hosts a festival of animation from around the world, starting tonight. [flavorpill]
• "Scribblers on the Roof" features Jewish writers hanging out on the top floor of a synagogue. Is that cool enough for you, Salon? [Paper]
• You could see a free outdoor movie and die, or you could spend 11 bucks for some much-needed AC. We recommend the latter. [TONY]

Is there anything more compellingly awkward than a press event based on a magazine cover stunt from last decade? Not if the above video is any indication. In order to announce the American incarnation of the Virgin Festival, the first 50 people who showed at the Union Square Virgin Megastore wearing nothing but a tube sock (in honor of the Red Hot Chili Peppers appearance on the two-day lineup) received free tickets to the festival. Nothing eases the pain of a biblically nasty Monday than watching people with nothing better to do at 11 AM than flaunt the illusion of their manhood as lengthened by a white cotton sock. NSFW if your office has a problem with anyone but Anthony Kiedis pulling this crap.

Dr. Nicholas Bartha, the Upper East Side doctor who blew up his E. 62nd Street townhouse as a part of his complicated divorce strategy/suicide attempt, died late last night at New York Presbyterian hospital, where he'd been in a medically induced coma since the explosion last Tuesday. Bartha had been ordered by the court to sell his house in order to pay the $4 million judgment awarded his ex-wife Cordula, but in an incoherent suicide email sent shortly before the building collapsed, he wrote, "I will only leave the house if I am dead." No comment from the ex, but she's probably on the phone with a realtor, cancelling the paperwork on some new bachelorette pad she'd had her eye on.

On Friday afternoon, a white substance was found in the 8th floor mailroom in the New York Times building, causing the evacuation of that floor, where the Styles and Travel sections are located. Hazmat was on the scene but by the end of the evening, the following update went out:

Friday:
• Worlds collide at the Central Park Summerstage, where Stephen Petronio's Company dances to Rufus Wainwright in Imitation of Christ costumes. Seriously. [flavorpill]
• Celebrate Bastile Day with excess amounts of food and wine, just like the Frogs do. [WUNYC]

Because Fridays are for mindless inanity, meet the Midget Michael Jackson, who moonwalks into the hearts of all 42nd Street commuters. Shut-ins that we are, we've no idea what sort of subterranean urchins are lurking below nowadays, but this little fella seems particularly special. He's so adorable, so perfect — if his face looked just slightly younger, he'd have Jesus Juice forced down his tender throat in no time.

• If you enjoy Moby, marine resources, and/or gift bags, buy a ticket for tonight's waterfront benefit honoring the "Stewards of the Estuary." Did we mention the gift bags? [CMRC]
• Yo La Tengo drums up an indie soundtrack for the "eight magical short films by surrealist aquanaut Jean Painleve." There's a metaphor in there somewhere about fishbowls and free concerts in Prospect Park. [flavorpill]
• Free with an anti-establishment twist: Easy Rider, featuring Dennis Hopper before he really lost his shit, screens courtesy of Movie With a View. [WUNYC]

Stephen Sakai, the former bouncer accused of enforcing a gunfire-based door policy at currently for-sale Opus 22 in Chelsea, may have a slight history of accelerating others' mortality. The New York Times reports forthcoming indictments against Sakai for three previous murders in Brooklyn, revolving around Sakai's bouncing at Opus 22 and Sweet Cherry, a waterfront strip dive in Sunset Park. The now-closed Sweet Cherry is described as "a dark place that maddened neighbors, prosecutors and city officials for years." Of the three Brooklyn victims, one was a bouncer-runner at Sweet Cherry, another a customer of the same club, and the third was another bouncer at Opus 22. Various bizarre statements from Sakai about the Brooklyn deaths (now disavowed) include his admitting to shooting the bouncer-runner "in the cheek or the leg or maybe someplace else." For more spacey criminal confusion, see Sakai's account after the jump of what happened at Opus 22, when he allegedly opened fire into a crowd outside the club, killing one and wounding three.