A new study by love scientists says that married couples that do more housework together have more sex. But! Not so fast, horny chore boy.

Just trying to be a normal xenophobic American man these days means constantly fighting back against The System (ladies, etc.) telling us to buy fancy shampoo and fancy underwear, so, hey fellas, do not buy more fancy crap by choice.

Caster Semenya is the most important athlete of our generation! The world at large is quite literally in an uproar over the allegations that champion runner lady Caster is "intersex," with testes and no ovaries. Will South Africa go crazy?

Whoa, hey, back up, what? We thought it was super crazy that South African sprinter Caster Semenya had to go through complicated tests to prove she's actually a woman, just because she....whoa, she's not actually a woman!

It was all a trick, by marketing people, to get you to buy body wash! The NYT digs deep into the dirty scam—it turns out that instead of being an honest appraisal of body wash's ability to engorge the loins of females, all those sexxxy Axe ads may have been tainted by hyperbole. Furthermore, girls were using body wash before boys, and now boys are using it which makes them totally gay, differently-designed packaging be damned! Like Big Tobacco, Big Body Wash gets you while you're young:

South African lady sprinter Caster Semenya kicked ass as usual at the world championships and her countrymen are saying: 'Stop asking if she is really a girl, Europeans! We don't give you gender tests just because you're pussies.' [AP]

A sports story that could be of interest to even the non-athletically inclined: Is this superstar lady runner really a fella? And why does a "gender test" take "several weeks" to complete? What are they looking for down there??

Hot-tempered, wild-eyed, self-pimp Vincent Gallo will have you know that he does not do cocaine.

Leading men are dead. Who are the symbols of movie male virility in 2009? Gentle, sensitive, geeky male outsiders with a love of Lou Reed and snug hoodies! It's time to sack up and throw away the sweater vest.

Josh Lucas—romcom star, nightlife regular, Matthew McConaughey admirer—seems like a nice guy, right? Well. As long as he's doing his yoga. When Josh Lucas stops doing his yoga...well, you wouldn't like Josh Lucas then.

Hipster farmers are pussies. Yuppie foodies are embarrassing half-men. But butchers—so fucking hot, OMG. All the blood. All the meat. All the editing in the world can't conceal NYT reporter Kim Severson's butcher lust:

We've always suspected that F-list Philly fameball Arthur Kade was laying on the Zoolander-ness a little thick, for effect. We so wanted him to be real that we've tried to ignore it. But this week, he's just become unbelievable:

Love flourishes, with the help of the internet! Are you an intensely sexual, spiritual, non-Scientologist goddess, searching for a meditative high school physics teacher for true love? Hare Krishna prostitutes a plus! The most romantic website ever is here:

Maxim recently folded its UK print version, and it's facing the horrific specter of a world with no cigarette ads. Times are tough. So they're coming out with yet another brand spinoff! It's a full-blown trend now:

Today, the final installment of Spencer Morgan's long-running series of profiles of the abrasive men of New York City. Spencer Morgan was laid off in the latest wave of Observer cutbacks. His subject today, a superstar dry cleaner: still rich.

Spike TV, as you men know, is the cable network of choice for testicle-bearers. From MANswers to The Ultimate Fighter to Deadliest Warrior, only Spike TV caters directly to testosterone-based idiot viewers. But dude—a chick's picking their shows?!?

China is like some crazy backwards Opposite Wonderland! There are so many more men looking to get married than there are eligible women that overenthusiastic dudes are constantly getting scammed out of their "bride prices." Nevada has a solution!

Men: poor dumb fat drunk losers. It's a microtrend!

The more we get the feeling that Arthur Kade, Philly's Zoolanderesque parody of himself, is actually a performance artist exploring the nature of assholery, the more we want to believe that he is real. As real as the "When Harry Met Sally" dialogue he practiced for "an astounding 12 hours."

Horndog scientists are studying sexual sex fantasies of men and women and they've come to some startling conclusions: We all want to be dominated like dirty animals. But only if you want us for our sexiness!