Sex, dating, clothes, relationships, politics, sex, women—men have opinions about all of these things. And yet, there’s nowhere on the internet where you can go to read them. That changes today. Welcome to The Cuck, a pop-up, bespoke men’s site, for men.
Are you sitting down? You should sit down. There is some earth-shattering commentary about current events you must read from Jeffrey Wells, a film critic.
Pictured: A group of reporters gathered outside Indiana governor Mike Pence’s house. Some of them look very comfortable!
“Men,” the less popular version of women, have shorter life spans, more violent tendencies, and less academic success. Are acronyms the solution to our national masculinity crisis?
Robert Bentley, the most powerful breast man in Alabama, once had a state law enforcement helicopter deliver his wallet to him at his beach house after he accidentally left it at home, about 250 miles away. And why was the governor leaving the house in such a hurry in the first place? His wife, whom he was probably cheating on, was mad at him. The old ball and chain, am I right boys!!
Public Service Announcement: millions of men who have spent time in locker rooms wish to make it clear that the following is not an accurate account of male “locker-room talk.”
Here is Chris Christie, speaking today about debating Hillary Clinton, which, it should be noted, will never happen:
Unfortunately for Léa Seydoux, the French actress who’s starring in the upcoming Bond movie Spectre, Vogue UK hired restaurant critic Giles Coren to interview her for the magazine’s November cover story. The piece itself is as yet unreleased, but Coren gave the world a behind-the-scenes look at his writing process in a tweet this morning:
Hey big boy. Nice watch. It’s very hot. Is it yours? That’s nice. It’s real, right? Rolex? Wow. That is really nice. I bet there are some big strong arms attached to those big strong wrists of yours. Really nice girth. Really, really nice. Anyway—wanna get out of here? Someplace we can be alone?
Fraternities in America have spent 2015 more or less acting as if the rules of law and decency do not apply to them. Of course, this is not without reason: for much of the last 200 or so years, our fraternities have been granted a unique pass that has treated their singular incubation of poisonous masculinity as a net positive for society.
Davis and I met at a book party. I was bored, aimlessly drinking. I came with an editor in the hopes of meeting other well-connected, writerly people. As I approached the cocktail table our eyes met on something vast and turbulent between us. I knew then, as if the future folded out in panels before my eyes, that this was illicit. Perhaps it was the smirk fixed to his ageless face or the puzzling sensation that we shared a secret. Before I knew it, we were shoulder to shoulder and he deftly extinguished all conversation until we stood alone in a ringing hiss of voices.
Last night was the Super Bowl, I guess. I heard something about a shark and stopped asking questions. But then today I was reading some celebrity gossip blogs and one of my favorite bloggers noted that Ben Affleck and Matt Damon spent the Super Bowl together... at Jimmy Kimmel's house? With... Grantland editor Bill Simmons?!? And the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, one of whom tweeted the below picture, which is what I imagine the scene at the gates of Hell to look like?
Here is a video of a man challenging a Disney character actor to a push-up contest and losing. Lesson: do not challenge a man whose job it is to portray the strongest man in town to a push-up contest.
