Coffee science! Radiation danger! Sunscreen cancer! Nasty Kit Kats! Lap band death! And Gwyneth Paltrow's Paltry Workout for Palsy Patients! It's your health-filled Health Watch, where we watch your health—as Milo of Croton watched his!

A new study claims Viagra, and other erectile dysfunction drugs, may cause hearing loss by sending blood rushing to the... ears. Men over 40 who take the drugs are twice as likely to report a loss of hearing. [USA Today]

A shooting victim in Spain received the face and the underlying muscles of a donor "including cheekbones, nose, lips and teeth." The operation took 30 Spanish doctors 22 hours to perform. [BBC]

Barcelona doctors have performed the world's first full face transplant on a man injured in a shooting accident. There had been partial face transplants before, but this was the whole thing. Like a pancake on a bowling ball. [Telegraph]

The whole hallucinogens-as-medicine thing is back! Scientist are conducting very strict scientific tests on psychedelic drugs as a treatment for depression. Allow us to save the doctors some trouble. We present our own research findings on this important topic below.

An American military doctor recently removed 2.5-inch, unexploded round of 14.5mm ammunition was lodged into the brain of an Afghan National Army soldier in an operating room secured by a bomb squad. These are the pictures. Click to enlarge.

Drugs that kill! Hospitals that kill! Pregnancies that kill! These and other things that kill, in today's Health Watch—where we keep an eye on health (yours)!

Today, Dr. Oz delved into the world of misdiagnosed symptoms. Throughout the show, he used terrifying language and even more terrifying visual aids to illustrate how severe his guest's conditions were. Hypochondriacs: you've been warned.

I believe this is a 1929 ad for ExtenZe. [Copyranter. Click to enlarge.]

Campus shrinks say a record number of college students are seeking treatment for mental health issues and that their problems are more severe than ever. Are the kids alright?

Nice work, Joel Stein. You really threw the missus under the bus this time, as you explain the trend of new-age-y anti-vaccination parents hitting home.

In your unforgettable Friday media column: Creativity magazine folds, a high school paper bravely outs its school's Jesus-tainted food supply, medical journals are full of ghostwriters, and the WaPo's most infamous marketer resigns.

The good news: one shot of tasty swine flu vaccine is all it will take to save you from the dreaded pig virus this year! The bad news: All the medicine is going to special interests.

While America's medical debates rage on, many of its significant members, of all colors and sizes, limply, quietly weep to themselves: penises. But! This is one health care package making serious progress: flaccid penises demand innovation, as the Times discovered.

One more argument for healthcare reform: Astronauts—actual NASA astronauts who fly to space on multibillion-dollar rockets and stuff—are scared that they can't get coverage. Or so says NASA's "chief bioethicist" in an interview with the New York Times.

Doug Hampton, the husband of John Ensign's mistress, says Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.) urged Ensign to pay Hampton off to the tune of $1.2 million to make the whole mess go away. Now Coburn won't talk, claiming doctor-patient privilege.

Bankruptcy documents of Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson's personal physician who attempted to revive Jackson at the scene of his death, have emerged. The picture painted: Murray was a financially strained doctor who had liens on child support, among other things.

Doctors are lazy and greedy and do not care about you. But Americans do not know this! Because of the TV, they think doctors would come up with a good national health care plan. They would not.

She is very powerful, and so she will probably destroy Newsweek for reporting this, but: Oprah's popular show, when it is not about giving you free things, is about promoting stupid and often dangerous quackery and pseudoscience.

Oh, good, Arianna Huffington is using her "Huffingtontowne Evening Post-Gazette" to promote the idiotic vaccine conspiracy nonsense of Earth Girls Are Easy star Jim Carrey.