Over in England, the shady tabloid phone-hacking scandal that has been going on for literally years is all anyone is talking about! Whereas here in America, we didn't even pay attention to Abu Ghraib for a whole week.

Pouty fathead Donald Trump is a tailor-made character for the New York Observer, which purports to monitor Manhattan's smug oligarchy with a gimlet-eyed detachment. And his semi-coherent presidential grumblings, which count as news just about everywhere else, make ideal grist for the Observer's mill. Too bad he's the owner's father-in-law.

In your wet Wednesday media column: Newsweek's suddenly cloudy future, CNN would like some black viewers, Univision eyes cable news, the AP's union negotiations drag on, and a sad NPR Twitter addict.

The New York Times pressed Wikileaks to publish classified Pentagon documents to avoid charges of conspiring to commit espionage, Wikileaks founder Julian Assange claimed. The Times was too scared to scoop, in other words.

This is an important question we are asking ourselves today: can Gwyneth Paltrow be stopped? The human-shaped collection of sunlight and feathers has already conquered the acting world, has become the nation's preeminent country-western-singer, and is now poised to take over the food industry. Her new cookbook, My Father's Daughter, is selling like gluten-free hotcakes and now the New York Post wonders if she could become the next Martha Stewart.

NPR—and the entire public broadcasting apparatus in general—has had a bad year. The botched Juan Williams firing, followed by the botched fallout from the Juan Williams firing, followed by the dumb James O'Keefe prank pseudocontroversy, followed by the resignation of NPR's CEO, mixed with constant calls from Republicans to defund NPR, which even convinced some pinko liberals that NPR should just get off the government payroll once and for all.

Earlier this year, we heard rumors of a revolt brewing among dissatisfied employees at AMI, publisher of Star and The National Enquirer. This prompted every last AMI editor and executive to email us, insisting in the most strenuous terms that AMI is just fine! For example, Star editor Candace Trunzo (pictured, at left) wrote, "What revolt? This is a crock! Your source clearly has an axe to grind. At Star, we are committed to the magazine, AMI and most especially David. He is a superb leader!"

Sidney Harman, the wealthy stereo mogul who last year, at the age of 92, bought the ailing Newsweek, has died at the age of "almost 93." The Daily Beast—which merged with Newsweek after Harman's purchase—posted an announcement of his death just minutes ago. Harman is survived by his wife, Rep. Jane Harman.

Newsweek, the only newsweekly to lose advertising during the first quarter of 2011, continues to dwindle almost to the point of irrelevance.

Of all terrible naked pregnant poses, man hand bra is my least favorite. The problem is that, when a man puts his hands on his wife's tits, he automatically makes a grabbing motion. See how Nick's fingers are tensed, his thumbs outstretched and gripping? That is the source of the awkwardness. This is not an elegant nude. This is a virile man getting to second base with a lady he recently knocked up.

In your cooling Tuesday media column: Nancy Grace gets sued, traffic stats for the post-paywall NYTimes.com, Hearst meets Mark Burnett, trade magazines roll up and die, and more Nocturnalist for all.

Ever since The Huffington Post sold itself off to AOL for an enormous pile of treasure, the legions of people who've been happily blogging for HuffPo for free for all these years have been asking themselves: Hey, shouldn't we get a piece of that pie? Now, they are demanding it.

In lieu of drafting a letter to the editor or posting a comment, Donald Trump has responded to a Vanity Fair blog post by printing it out, writing insults on it, and mailing it to editor Graydon Carter with an embossed calling card. He's the closest thing America has to royalty.

Vogue covered the Middle East crisis with a puff piece on the "glamorous" wife of a brutal dictator. Now it's sister publication Condé Nast Traveler's turn: the magazine just published a guide to luxury travel in Libya.

Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren is married to a guy who just happens to be good friends with Sarah Palin. Now she's complaining on her blog that people are inviting her to stuff just to hang out with her famous friend.

Rupert Murdoch's News International, which operates the News of the World and his other British papers, is admitting that its reporters illegally accessed the voicemails of at least 24 celebrities and will settle a raft of lawsuits over the hacks.

In your serene Wednesday media column: Jay Severin gets canned, a blogger sues over working conditions, Pinch defends his paywall, Hearst is full of catty status-seekers, and Rachel Maddow will make you a martyr.

The day after CBS News' Washington Bureau chief was revealed as an FBI informant, the Smoking Gun has published another account of a TV news personality snitching for the FBI. This time, it was a local Fox television anchor.

Shelley Ross is a former executive producer at Good Morning America and the CBS Early Show. She's most famous for being disliked by her employees, and then having said employees snitch to the media about how much they hated her.

According to TV Guide, Today co-host Meredith Vieira will leave the show when her contract expires later this year. She's apparently "weary of the demanding early morning hours," which we assume is code for "sick of Matt Lauer." [TV Guide]