If you haven't heard by now, the NY Times' Judith Miller is going to jail, while Time's Matthew Cooper has decided to testify about his confidential source rather than join Miller in the slammer. Whenever big news like this breaks, we always like to do our part by helping CBS cast its inevitable, fast-tracked television movie. We think Jason Alexander will make a fine Cooper, while Tomlin will bring an offbeat sensibility to Miller. Please remember that we're dealing with TV casting budgets—there's no way that Les Moonves is going to meet Paul Giamatti's quote for a MOW.

In the poll our slutty sister Wonkette is running on whether Matt Cooper and Judy Miller should just give up and reveal their source, the enough-with-the-First-Amendment camp is kicking some ass.

We don't know about you, but, unable to get our regular Wednesday dose of Observer, we've had the shakes bad. And you can imagine how intolerable the paper's late lunching becomes when you're in the middle of a major jones.

We want to be dismissive of The New York Sun. We really do. We disagree with its politics, something about Seth Lipsky frankly scares us a little, and, while we know plenty of folks who write for it, we don't know anyone who actually reads it. But then the paper goes and runs a piece like it did today — and exegesis on the history of perhaps our favorite food, the ice-cream sandwich, complete with recommendations for good gourmet sandwiches in the city and a recipe to make one at home — and we kind of fall a little bit in love with those kooky right-wingers.

We knew working conditions at The New York Observer are less than ideal, but now we're getting worried. Guys, you do get a lunch break at some point, right? Because it's 1:50 now, and we're still looking at this:

• Two weeks are left till Maureen Dowd returns from book leave. We're pretty agnostic on that, but we're psyched to see that her final pinch-pontificator is Sarah Vowell. [FishbowlNY]
• Why so many magazine deals? Because rich people are buying them. Or something like that. [NY Sun]
• There are two new AMEs at the Times — which isn't the most riveting news in the world, especially because their duties don't seem to be changing — but it doesn't happen every day and it gets their names on the masthead, which is cool. [NYT]
• Allen & Co.'s Sun Valley media cofab is set to start, despite some mogul's jets landing late after being delayed by the prime minister of Turkey's plane. Fucking Turks. [NYP]

It's nice to see that even in these trying times, old newspaper hands are able to keep intact their characteristic self-importance, victimhood, and total lack of proportion. On Romenesko's letters page today:

Smell that? It's the scent of various bodily fluids, and it's emanating from the Us Weekly offices. Apparently, the entire staff has wet themselves over their latest issue, in which they report that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have adopted an orphaned Ethiopian girl. We're more excited about their clever headline manipulation: Apparently Pitt was merely present while Angelina adopted the baby. Semantic nuances, schmuances — as far as Us is concerned, they adopted that kid together, will raise her together, and together will give her a little baby mohawk.

This afternoon is the big, climactic showdown in the Matt Cooper and Judy Miller anonymous-source saga. (Unless it isn't: There could always be another postponment or something.)

Because a retard convention is hardly blissful without a sack lunch.

Sometimes, our mothers see our nasty apartments and beat us with copies of Martha Stewart Living. And sometimes, we read those copies and find fascinating articles on entertaining. In particular, we're enamored by a recent spread called "Dessert and a Movie: Cinema and treats under the stars are a sweet tradition at this New York farm."

CNN/Money has a nice little rewrite of a nice little Times story on Steve Jobs making a condolence call to the father of the Brooklyn boy killed for his iPod over the weekend. It sounds like Jobs made a nice call, and the father was nicely appreciative. But really the nicest part, we think, is the final graf.

At least Tierney's finally found his niche.

Think that The New York Times is the best paper newspaper in the world? Think again. A Swiss consultancy asked 1,000 respondents in 50 countries what newspaper they thought was the world's best, and the Times ranked a dismal sixth — down from first place just two years ago. The Financial Times came in first this year, and the Journal was number two.

Kevin Roderick of L.A. Observed, apparently suffering massive geographic disorientation, today passes on a memo from The New York Times Co. mandating that its employees learn to be more ethical. (Also required: Closing all barn doors at least two years after the horse is gone.)

• Hey, Tom Brokaw's got a secret: Bob Woodward had this secret source he used to meet in a parking garage. [E&P]
• Just when you thought there was no way the Bush administration could be worse for the press — controlled information, Armstrong Williams, the new public-broadcasting ombudsmen — it turns out the leaker Matt and Judy could go to jail for protecting might well be Karl Rove. Boy genius, indeed. [Newsweek]
• The rule of law always trumps a reporter's promise of confidentiality, says a fair and balanced report in Time magazine. [Time]
• From Napster to TiVo, the important thing is the technology, not the gimmicky name. And even gimmicks — like, say, giving away some regifted swag — have limited utility if they're unveiled while everyone's busy watching Fireworks. [AdAge]
• Is NBC maneuvering to replace Katie Couric with Alexis Glick? Um, probably not. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

Of course she's a freelance editor. Because we've never known one actually on staff to fight even for getting us the paycheck we were promised, let alone for getting some stranger out of jail.

Maybe open containers are verboten by the MTA — and maybe they have been for decades — but apparently eating on the train is entirely legal. But just becaue something's legal doesn't mean it's a good idea in all cases, as we learned the hard way long ago. Looking out for its straphanging subscribers, the News does some hard-hitting consumer reporting today, trying to determine the ideal subway snack. Offerings from Burger King, Wendy's, McDonald's, and Taco Bell were all considered, and nothing got great marks. But one thing was clear: Despite its eponymity, Subway on the subway just doesn't work. Something about the tomatoes.

Photo caption from the New York Sun homepage this morning:

As if things aren't already bad enough for Peter Jennings — and they really are; even we don't make jokes about a man with aggressive lung cancer — today's Los Angeles Times brings more bad news: His show, World News Tonight, is doing just fine without him. Indeed, not only have ratings remained constant relative to the competition, but ABC is even picking up in one key area: