Is it Bendering time yet? Hell yeah it is! A five-hour Futurama marathon just started on Comedy Central—and everyone should watch. Unless your computer and your TV are in different rooms, in which case you should keep reading Gawker. It culminates tonight at 8:00 with a brand new feature-length, er... feature, The Beast With a Billion Backs. Brand new unless you bought the DVD. Anyway, I'm psyched—I haven't bought a DVD in like two years. Trailer after the jump.

Here is Barack Obama and a few of his friends getting together under the Gateway Arch in St. Louis yesterday. "All I can say is wow," said Obama as he took the stage. Meanwhile, let's take a gander at what was going on with the 400 to 500 people who showed up to watch Sarah Palin boost for Senator Norm Coleman in Duluth, MN, the other day.

It's always fun to get slammed by a disaster and then to look back and discover that some people had been warning you about it forever. Well, The Economist has been publishing scary covers warning of DOOM for years, and they are compiled in a nifty slide show here. We've put together a tasty little sampler after the jump.

General Colin Powell was a swell guy when he was commanding the first war in Iraq. And he was just super when, as Secretary of State for George W. Bush, he sold the second war in Iraq to the United Nations. But now that he's endorsed Barack Obama for President, Powell totally cannot be trusted—and he's black! So says crybaby bastard Rush Limbaugh, anyway. Limbaugh wrote in an email (Did they take away his radio show yet?), "Secretary Powell says his endorsement is not about race. OK, fine. I am now researching his past endorsements to see if I can find all the inexperienced, very liberal, white candidates he has endorsed. I'll let you know what I come up with." As for Powell's concern that a McCain presidency would result in two more conservative appointments to the Supreme Court, Limbaugh wrote: "I was also unaware of his dislike for John Roberts, Clarence Thomas, Samuel Alito, Anthony Kennedy and Antonin Scalia. I guess he also regrets Reagan and Bush making him a four-star [general] and secretary of state and appointing his son to head the FCC. Yes, let's hear it for transformational figures." [Politico]

The highlight of Sarah Palin's career? It's not her guest spot on SNL, or her scary stump speeches in front of screaming crazy racists. It's this cover for the upcoming Tales From the Crypt comic. Sporting a hockey stick—and heaving breasts reminiscent of the comic's golden days—she asks the fleeing ghouls, "Didn't we get rid of you guts in the 50's?" It's a reference to Palin's book-banning ways, as well as to the wave of censorship that forced Crypt's original publisher to shut it down in 1955.

Cole Puffinburger, the six-year-old who was abducted from his house on Wednesday by drug dealers who had been ripped-off by his grandfather, was found wandering the streets a few miles from his Las Vegas home last night. Police say he's in "extremely good condition." Cole was taken Wednesday when three men claiming to be cops showed up at his mother's house and demanded cash from his mother and her fiance. When they said they didn't have any, the men ransacked the place and made off with the boy. An Amber Alert was issued—the first in Nevada history—but it was called off yesterday even though Cole was still missing. Police said the alert had run its course. Meanwhile, Federal Marshalls arrested Cole's grandfather, Clemens Tinnemeyer, 51, in California early Saturday, hoping he would lead them to the child's kidnappers—Mexican drug dealers from whom he'd stolen money.

Former Secretary of State under George W. Bush, Colin Powell, endorsed Barack Obama for President on Meet the Press this morning. Powell, a Republican and longtime friend of John McCain, said, "I think he is a transformational figure, he is a new generation coming onto the world stage, onto the American stage, and for that reason I'll be voting for Sen. Barack Obama... He's thinking that all villages have values, all towns have values, not just small towns have values." As for McCain and his supporters' straw-grasping, "terrorist" and "Muslim" talk, "I have been disappointed frankly in some of the approaches Senator McCain has taken recently... The party has moved even further to the right and Governor Palin has indicated a further rightward shift. I would have difficulty with two more conservative appointments to the Supreme Court, but that's what we'd be looking at in a McCain administration." Click through to watch the full endorsement. Click to view

Yeah, so, this happened. The real Sarah Palin and Mark Wahlberg opened last night's Saturday Night Live, with help from Lorne Michaels and Alec Baldwin. Stiff discomfort reigned. But at least Tina Fey was still her usual hysterical self, and was only exposed to the actual Palin in passing. That, plus Palin on Weekend Update, after the jump. Click to view

This is certainly a scary time in America, what with the racist McCain/Palin fans and a liberal response that is still cringing and frightened to offend no matter what crazy shit the Wingers spew. But America has had scary times before—times when racists and rednecks and bullies and other pieces of shit went all out to stop the spread of progress and new ideas and common decency. And we have always stuck it to the man, at least in movies and TV. My opener after the jump.

Opus, Berkeley Breathed's troubled, herring-loving penguin, has managed to eek out an existence since he first hit the strip "Bloom County" in 1980. But now he's gonna die, because Breathed is gonna kill him, and it's all your fault, snarky snarking internet users! Asked why Breathed is ending Opus's self-named strip next week after a five year run, Breathed tells Salon, "We're not a movie. In most aspects, there's no arc to the human story. Only a line heading upward. For nearly everything. In this case, the coarsening of the National Discourse. We aren't returning someday to any sort of golden era of political civility. The line heads heavenward and has been since the Republic started. And with the intersection of two rather dramatic dynamics — the cable and Web technology allowing All Snark All the Time ... and the political realities of No More Free Lunch in America, it will spike in the coming years like Don Draper's sex life, and I hereby pledge that that's the last pop reference I use." But isn't it during dark times that we most need funny satire? Screw you, noob!

Attention friends of Madonna and Guy Ritchie: You are no longer friends with Guy Ritchie. Madge is mustering her forces for what is hopefully going to be an epically nasty divorce. First strategy, gather the troops and hunker down. So the icon is reportedly telling her friends, hangers-on, sycophants, and other assorted slaves to stay the hell away from her soon-be-ex husband. You know, she doesn't want to be discussing how her lawyers may totally savage Ritchie's character in advance of a possible custody battle over their son Rocco just to have it get back to the director and his friends.

Terry Tate, the linebacker-turned-office manager who starred in one of the greatest Superbowl commercials of all time, has returned. In the first installment of his triumphant move from advertising to politics, Tate appears at Palin's infamous interview with Katie Couric to express his mild displeasure with the Alaskan ice queen's infuriating double-talk.

Former Soul Train host Don Cornelius was arrested for domestic violence at his Los Angeles home last night. Cops responding to a radio call for domestic abuse showed up at Cornelius's place on Mulholland Drive and arrested the 72-year-old at the scene. He was taken to an LAPD jail in Van Nuys, booked on felony domestic violence charges, and released on $50,000 bail. The police still aren't saying who he allegedly abused, or how, but he lives with his wife. [NYDN]

Season two of everyone's favorite misogyny-fest, Mad Men, ends next week. But good news! AMC just ordered a third. In the meantime, you can't have a TV drama about a bunch of women-hating he-men without women for them to hate. And what are those women like? Video intern Marian Lorraine has compiled the ladies at their super retro bitchiest. Click through for awesomeness!

Too few sci-fi nerds are doing their duty and watching Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Its ratings have stunk this season and if they don't get better it could be canceled. Fortunately, according to this guy, it's still very popular with advertisers, so Fox has just ordered another season. And everyone better start watching it or poor Summer Glau will be out of a job again, just like when the bastards canceled Firefly. As a reminder of how important it is that Glau remain on television, here are a bunch of pics of her being hot.

Joerg Haider, the Austrian extreme rightist who died in a car crash while going twice the speed limit last week, spent the last moments of his life partying at gay hot spot Stadtkraeme, according to the German newspaper Bild. Maybe European Neo-Nazis just like to dance?

Despite their obvious evil, the monkeys have a shadow army, a veritable fifth column of monkey apologist humans secretly working to secure their overthrow of mankind. Some of them even live with the hairy hellions! When the law caught up with California human David Grigorian—who was sharing his Van Nuys home with a marmoset known only as Cheeta—he was ordered to hand the monkey over to Game and Wildlife officials, since he didn't have a permit for the animal. Instead, the monkey sympathizer showed up in court this week with a photo of Cheeta posing with a Mexian newspaper to convince a judge that the vine-climbing menace had fled south of the border. Eventually, Grigorian admitted he and Cheeta were still living in sin and turned in his partner. But it's all too easy to blame the human when a simian gets into mischief. After all, the guy was probably just a patsy.

There's nothing like a truly excellent goodbye letter. One case in point is a rambling missive to the world from former hedge fund manager Andrew Lahde, who closed shop last month after deciding that it was just too risky to keep doing business with banks. Specifically, he calls out the, "low hanging fruit, i.e. idiots whose parents paid for prep school, Yale, and then the Harvard MBA, was there for the taking. These people who were (often) truly not worthy of the education they received (or supposedly received) rose to the top of companies such as AIG, Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers and all levels of our government. All of this behavior supporting the Aristocracy, only ended up making it easier for me to find people stupid enough to take the other side of my trades. God bless America."

Want to get knocked up by a blond Frankenstein who thinks everything in life is attributable to genetics? All you have to do is pay off his college debt! This Craigslist user will provide you with his "A+" manseed if you relieve him of his responsibility to pay for the education he's received. Just what is "A+" sperm? It's "Irish/Danish. 6', blond, light green eyes, great complexion, great teeth (never needed braces), very well endowed, can eat anything—and not gain weight, natural abdominal six pack." How like a god! Also? Genetics makes this specimen, "Very much into athletics, music, the arts, business..." Plus: "I believe I have great taste." Click through for a bigger pic. By the way, maybe delete the part about being Irish? The bottle is the curse of you people. [Craigslist]

So, how have our friends at the GOP been behaving themselves this week? Oh, it's not good. First, they tricked Democrats in California into becoming Republicans by telling them they were signing petitions for stiffer punishments for child molesters. Then, in DC, Boston, Seattle, and elsewhere, they sent racially charged death threats to ACORN staffers and vandalized their offices. And how were things in Ohio? Watch the most racist Sarah Palin rally so far caught on tape after the jump.