♦ John McCain's appearance on Saturday Night Live didn't generate Sarah Palin-like ratings, but it was still an impressive showing nonetheless. [THR]
♦ No word yet on who will take over NBC's Meet the Press. Chuck Todd, David Gregory, Gwen Ifill, and even Katie Couric all remain possibilities. [NYT]
♦ CBS is on a primetime ratings roll, although Sumner Redstone is still screwed, apparently. [NYT, NYT]
♦ Another profile of Rachel Maddow, just in case the 237 other pieces on MSNBC's rising star in recent weeks have yet to whet your appetite. [NYM]
♦ In case you missed it, the clip of Sarah Palin getting punked by a couple of Montreal radio personalities, who explain how they managed to get through to her. [ABC]

When times are tough, Americans don't want television that makes you "think." They want television that's predictable, television that reruns the same god damn stories week after week with absolutely no sense of drama or uncertainty. Because who wants more uncertainty, in these uncertain days? This is why CBS—old, stuffy, worthless CBS—is now the best-rated television network of the fall season, may god have mercy on our souls. Too bad Sumner Redstone can't make any money off it, though! CBS hasn't done this well any time since 1987, before reality TV was invented.

New York magazine expanded on the legend of MSNBC hotshot Rachel Maddow, revealing her further as a sharp scholar ("I still send students to [her] thesis as a model," says a Stanford professor), unabashed bleeding heart (spending nights "worrying about nuclear proliferation and the Fourth Amendment ") and refreshingly down-to-earth television personality ("There is nothing funnier than a fart"). It also broke the news that the Rachel Maddow Show host now, at long last, owns a television! But then the profile reminded us Maddow got her slot at the expense of a guy in a long-running feud with her advocate Keith Olbermann:

The troubled New York Times Company is running out of options. It owes more than $1 billion, close to half of it coming due in the next two years. But it just ruled out layoffs for the foreseeable future and will probably try to avoid cutting the $132 million annual dividend, since doing so could spark a boardroom revolt by high-living Sulzberger family members. So it would make sense if the company has been trying to sell About.com, as Jason Calacanis, CEO of search engine company Mahalo, said on the This Week In Tech podcast last week. (Audio of his remarks lies after the jump.)

As we heard earlier this week, Wenner Media announced editorial layoffs today. No names have been released, but we hear the cuts were spread across Us, Rolling Stone, and Men's Journal. And All Things D has a list of the layoffs at Portfolio today, which include senior editor Ken Wells—even though "Portfolio hosted a book party for him just this week":

Important item: Has billionaire Lazard chairman Bruce Wasserstein, the owner of New York magazine, had some plastic surgery? Cityfile thinks so, after examining a current photo vs. one from two years ago. Then again, two years ago Wasserstein was rumored to be seriously ill. So maybe he just got over that? And is it really worth spending all that money to get plastic surgery when you're already 60 and married and not prowling the clubs for hot young things? I guess if you're a billionaire, you can do what you like, thank you. Click to enlarge the pic. [via Cityfile]

Vanity Fair has a new excerpt from professional media beef-starter Michael Wolff's upcoming biography of News Corp. chief Rupert Murdoch. Murdoch already said publicly that the book is flawed, but his problems with it seemed to center on how some of his business relationships are portrayed. The excerpt today, disappointingly, focuses on Murdoch's family life, and some of it is predictable. Friction between the new wife and the old wife and the kids from the old wife! Drama about succession! The only real interesting parts come when Wolff starts riffing on Murdoch's greedy ambitious kids and their Oedipal tendencies: Prue, Murdoch's eldest daughter, is a weirdo, says Wolff. But at least she didn't want to marry her mom, yuck!:

How's that going? They're grooming the Trump daughter to marry boy-mensch and 27-year-old New York Observer owner Jared Kushner. But first they've got to beat the Gentile out of her! Of course the YNet's Jewish World has something to say about it, declaring Kushner the "perfect match" and informing us that " following her husband-to-be's request, Ivanka has begun the conversion process at the Kehilath Jeshurun Synagogue in Manhattan's Upper East Side." Has she been turned away by a rabbi three times, as is the custom? Update: But Kushner & Trump are not engaged as this article suggests, says Robert Sommer, Observer Media Group President. Apparently, they're just really seriously going steady.[YNet]

Lydia's Halloween costume is what's killing print. The publishing heiress and model referenced her recent little scandal of quitting her "column" in Page Six magazine by dressing up as the tabloid for a party last night. Cute, Lydia—but Britney Spears wore this exact same costume years and years ago:Update: "I am Lydia's PR. don't you get it? She is being Britany !!!! that was her costume? can't you tell that they are wearing the same outfit? Duh Gawker!!!!" (When we finally get the juice to hire a PRgay, we're gonna go with one who uses periods and questions marks properly?)

The salacious title of the Weinstein Co.'s new Kevin Smith flick Zack and Miri Make a Porno is proving to be a bad decision. It's already screwed up the movie's marketing efforts. Must it lead to stilted reviews as well? "And so it will hardly be shocking that 'Zack and Miri Make a Porno' is about two people, named Zack (Seth Rogen) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks), who make what my copy editors would prefer that I call a pornographic movie," writes A.O. Scott in the Times today. To be fair, the Times is full of pussy-ass hoes.

♦ What does Bravo have in the works to replace Project Runway if it moves to Lifetime? There's a Runway ripoff called The Fashion Show. There's also Celebrity Sew-Off, in which "celebrities" will compete in a competition for their own clothing label, which should be totally awesome because we've always wanted to buy jeans designed by Jill Zarin. [THR]
♦ The sponsors for Bravo's fifth season of Top Chef? Campbell's Soup, Diet Dr. Pepper, and Quaker. [AdAge]
♦ Because you haven't heard enough about Bravo today, the NYT magazine profile of Bravo boss Lauren Zalaznick (left) is now online. [NYT]
♦ More details on the cuts and layoffs at Condé Nast. [NYP]
♦ Condé Nast's glitzy Fashion Rocks show is no more. [AdAge]

CNN just loves to hep it up on election and convention nights by "hosting" bloggers, corralling them into a blogger pen where they can feel like they might actually be part of the MSM, if only for a night. November 4th will be no different—New York dating columnist Julia Allison has already Twittered that she'll be there, unwittingly proving once again how ridiculous (and ridiculously all-inclusive) this little gathering is. After the jump, see the invite to "select bloggers" promising "wireless Internet access and small TVs... And of course, there’s complimentary food and open bar throughout the evening."

Remember when people aspired to be magazine editors? So archaic. Editing a magazine has become pedestrian. Now one must be a magabrand curator, lording over an entire stable of loosely related titles that make up your own media mini-empire. Why should Anna Wintour settle for editing Vogue when she could become the "editorial director" of a whole slew of Vogue spinoffs? That was good aspirational thinking. Until yesterday. Yesterday, Men's Vogue folded. That was a major embarrassment for Anna Wintour. She was a force in the women's fashion world, but she thought she was destined to build her own fashion magazine empire in her own little corner of Conde Nast. MV was supposed to be a big part of that. Now it's dead, along with Fashion Rocks, the huge advertorial project that Conde Nast put on each fall. Teen Vogue is rumored to be shaky as well! That means fashion advertising is weak overall, and Anna's dream is deferred. If not dead. You know who this should be of concern to? Dave "Abs" Zinczenko! And every other aspiring magabrand mogul. Dave Z made his name editing Men's Health, but now he oversees a bunch of "Health" titles, writes ridiculous "Health" books, and goes on the Today show as an expert all the time. He's not an editor, he's a brand name. Until the advertising collapses! Then he's back to being just another dude checking copy and approving pages and hopefully getting out of the office in time to go to the gym, not so he can look good on TV, but just so he can feel good for himself. Don't worry. Pretty soon you'll be thankful just to have those editing jobs. [Pic via Reuters]

Condé Nast announced yesterday it planned to scale back publication of Men's Vogue to two times a year. But not before Condé took one last opportunity to rope in Men's Vogue readers to renew their subscriptions! A reader was kind enough to send in this renewal offer he received last week, which offered two years ("20 issues!") for the price of one. But as he pointed out, when a Vogue title stamps "Free Gift Enclosed!" on the envelope and the gift turns out to be a flimsy bookmark, that's a pretty good sign the end is near.

A few years ago, Vanity Fair columnist and author Michael Wolff announced that he would never dine at the media hotspot Michael's ever again. Did he suffer a horrible case of food poisoning? Get attacked by an elderly socialite with her Hermès handbag? Actually, his outrage stemmed from the fact that he'd been denied his customary table at the restaurant. Now we get to hear the other side of the story: Steve Millington, the general manager of the restaurant, describes the Wolff brouhaha on the Fortune website. And it turns out that quite a few Michael's regulars were pretty psyched to hear they'd no longer have to see him during their lunch hours:

As we noted Thursday morning, the Washington Post this week prominentaly mentioned that the wife of Democratic politician John Edwards, Elizabeth, was missing her wedding band when she recently stepped back into public view. Perhaps, we thought, this was a sign the marriage was over. But as commenter La Cieca first noticed, Edwards also went ringless in 2007; we dug through photo archives and found she's been slipping her ring on and off for years now, seemingly without regard for the ups and downs of her marriages. The band would appear meaningless as to the state of her marriage. And yet:

Amid Rachel Maddow's decisive ratings success, the most credible knock against the Keith Olbermann protege is that her guests tend to reinforce her own viewpoint rather than act, more provocatively, as foils. This made the MSNBC host's interview with Barack Obama tonight particularly tricky. If Maddow was too deferential, she'd be knocked as predictably in the tank; too hard and she'd alienate her lefty viewers. Her solution was clever: Needle the Democratic presidential nominee on his left flank with questions about why he doesn't slam the Republican Party more and whether Afghanistan might turn into an Iraq-style quagmire.

The LA Times has a videotape of Obama at a luncheon with known Arab Rashid Khalidi. They say they won't release it because they promised their source they wouldn't. We said that somebody there should release it just so they can claim the $150,000 bounty offered for it and buy essential office supplies, such as toilet paper. Times are tough. But National Review's mongering blog The Corner has figured out that this conspiracy is way bigger than $150,000; $14.685 billion bigger! Break it down, crazy man: See, they figure it like this: LAT is owned by Tribune, which is $14.7 billion in debt, and the incoming Obama administration is gonna have $500 billion of government bailout funds to dole out, and $14.7 billion is "a very small proportion" of $500 billion (this is actually included in the reasoning) and if you keep Hussein Obama happy now then, hey, who's to say he won't give Tribune Co. $14.7 billion when he gets on the inside? Read the signs, people, they're all around you. The Corner also points out:

What do average Americans count on for comic relief in these troubled times? Salvia clips on YouTube and G-spot enlargement injections, right? No, those are elitist coastal pastimes. Readers of Denver's Rocky Mountain News have a keener funny bone: "More than 2,000 readers wrote, e-mailed and called our comics hot line after the strip was dropped. Many Garfield fans told us that in these troubled times, they counted on the comic relief of their longtime favorite strip." Huh. And just the other day someone was saying that there were smart people in Denver. [RMN via Westword]

The Supreme Court hearing on "fuck" and "shit" on TV is getting to the good part: the part where all the lawyers will have to use said swears over and over in the august chambers to make their points. It's going to sound like a bunch of goddamned longshoremen or hard-boiled crime reporters up in there—only uttered by white-shoe barristers whose education costs are triple your net worth. "If [Chief Justice] Roberts allows it, such a display of blue language will be heard on TV and radio—in the middle part of the day—across America, and may be read the next morning in many newspapers," says the SCOTUS lawblog. WTF?Justice Roberts is undecided on whether or not he should even allow the lawyers to use the words—and if so, whether to allow the argument's audio to be played on C-SPAN. For hilarity's sake, we think he should. Then there's the issue of how the print media will handle it—would a "family paper" like the New York Times, for example, use the word "shit" to accurately quote the proceedings? (According to past practice, they would not.) [SCOTUSblog]