The commercial real estate market is tanking. Jared Kushner, the owner of the New York Observer, is invested up to his neck in that market. Is it time to start jumping to conclusions?

Former Gawker hottie Benoit Denizet-Lewis is still riding the addiction train to literary success! The America Anonymous author and unveiler of Down Low culture is writing about his sex addiction, luckily for pervs like you:

Just months after making Matt Lauer cry inside about his divorce, Meredith Vieira proclaims a tourist couple's 30-year marriage over on the Today show. Click to watch the mean lady who causes all divorce.

To head off child-stalking paparazzi, the Obamas released three photos of their All-American kids getting ready for school today! They need a better photographer—but they still won't stop the PAPS. Click to go "AW."

This is currently the lead post on the official Fox News Twitter page. Hackers are cool again.

RadarOnline.com was bought by National Enquirer publisher AMI in October, and Enquirer editor David Perel was put in charge of it. And thanks to Jett Travolta's death, the site is now a great gossip reputation-launderer.

• Scribner won the non-race to publish Laura Bush's memoir. [AP]
• The Times is now selling ads on the front page of the paper. [NYT]
• Movie ticket sales totaled $9.6 bil. in 2008, down 1 percent from '07. [NYT]
• Is HuffPo worth $200 million? Not so much, says Simon Dumenco. [AdAge]
• Publishing companies are cutting perks, in case you haven't heard. [NYT]
• Howard Kurtz profiles Liz Claman, who left CNBC for Fox. [WaPo]
• Michael Phelps will now be pitching Mazdas in China. [Bloomberg]
• Marley & Me was No. 1 at the box office for a second week. [THR]

With the book publishing industry cutting back, it's good to know that they can still step up and produce a quality American Gladiator tell-all memoir about man boobs and severe steroid-induced ball shrinkage:

This is why access is overrated. CNBC believed Apple's official pronouncements on the health of Steve Jobs, the computer company's CEO. Gizmodo relied on gossiping insiders. Who do you reckon was right?

Idiot manchild Jay Mariotti, who quit a highly paid job as a Chicago Sun-Times sports columnist in order to find work at one of these "web sites" he's heard so much about, has a job!

Good morning sunshine! It's January, which means the horrible media advertising apocalypse has now begun. But not to worry, media lovers; it's only affecting every famous book, magazine, and newspaper publisher:

"Let's hope the Magic Negro does a good job," is the New Year's wish of "Jen and John C," courtesy of the Fox News crawler. Hey, thanks for that. Click through for the clip:

After being pwned by Politico, the Washington Post is launching a secret new political website in two weeks, and has hired TPM's Greg Sargent as blogger-in-chief. Politics and blogs, together? It just might work. [TPM]

Which New Year's Eve TV experience was more painful: Kathy Griffin screaming about knocking "dicks outta your mouth" on CNN, or Dick Clark's stroke-ravaged Frankenstein muttering on ABC? Click to watch and choose.

Yesterday America fell to its knees, wailing, because Time Warner threatened to pull several networks off the air because of a spat with Viacom. Well it's all over now so return to the couch, sheep.

American queen Sarah Palin spent her New Year's Eve in the traditional Wasilla way: placing angry phone calls to media outlets insisting her teen (mom) daughter and her man aren't high school dropouts.

You heard it here last: Nick Denton's slimmed-down fiscal plans for 2009 include two fewer blogs: Consumerist is now Consumer Reports's younger, hipper sidekick, while Defamer is seeking a new home.

• Despite the change in moderators, NBC's Meet the Press continues to dominate the Sunday morning competition. [THR]
• MTV has canceled 50 Cent's reality show. [NYP]
• The New York Times Co. is busy trying to raise capital, but the company may have to take more radical action to turn the ship around. [Reuters]
• Magazine editors on how to find happiness in 10 minutes or less. [WWD]
• It's been a lousy year for most media moguls, but Liberty Media's John Malone appears to have had the least miserable one. [NYT]

The New York Times and the Wall Street Journal are locked in an obsessive death match. Only one newspaper can survive! But until one slays the other, they're mimicking each other's every move.

Have you ever imagined what it'd be like if a New Yorker staffer tried to talk dirty with you? Their online editors feel your pain.