Drop your razors, fashionable young men: the New York Times reports that mustaches are back—in style! Somehow this story sounds vaguely... familiar:

Celebrity news hasn't been popping lately. It's vulgar—but more importantly, it's gotten repetitive. The new pastime is mocking the rich. But now, the journalists feel more sympathy with the fallen rich than ever before.

• Paramount chief Brad Grey has renewed his contract for 5 more years. [NYT]
• Meredith Corp. is shutting down Country Home magazine. [MW]
• The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet is ending this summer. [NYT]
• Barnes & Noble reports sales dropped off in 2008, not surprisingly. [WSJ]
• CBS slashed its Tel Aviv bureau just before war erupted in Gaza. [NYO]
• Oprah's weight-gain confessional scored big ratings for Monday's show. [NYP]

Is it smart for Israel to blow the hell out of Palestinian civilians past all boundaries of good sense? No. But has Israel timed this war brilliantly, from a PR perspective? No doubt.

For years, the likes of Hannah Montana and the Jonas Bros. have ruled the kiddie icon market. No more. Soon, heterosexual boys will have their own channel full of crappy Disney tween characters from hell.

Sad struggling businessmen can no longer afford to spend thousands on strippers at Scores. Instead, they're spending hundreds to have an ex-stripper from Scores hypnotize them. For business success! Really now:

We're starting a new, daily media column for all the media news items we can't get to individually. It may also feature pithy remarks and totally exclusive scoops. Read it today, and forevermore:

"Joe the Plumber" is going to war! Some website is paying him to go to Israel and talk about things he knows nothing about, specifically everything. We were so close to being rid of him!

Everyone wants a sugar daddy to save them. Wall Street has found one in Washington. But the newspaper industry has been batting its eyes in the direction of Mountain View, Calif., home of Google. Ha!

Fox & Friends anchor Brian Kilmeade says a man stuck on a ski lift with his ass hanging out should "get a Vaseline sponsorship," so he can "slide two fingers in." Plus: "Stimulus."

• Not surprisingly, nearly every major network is planning "longer and more exhaustive" coverage of the inauguration compared to years past. [NYT]
• Ugly day at Time Warner: The company is reporting its annual first loss in six years and is writing down $25 billion in the fourth quarter. [BN]
• Is Dick Parsons in line to become Commerce Secretary? [B&C]
• Forbes laid off 19 people yesterday. [ATD]
• People's Jess Cagle is taking over as managing editor of EW. [NYP]
• Michael Hirschorn thinks it's possible the New York Times will go bust in the next year; the Observer says Times boss Arthur Sulzberger Jr. is the "media mensch of the year." Go figure! [Atlantic, NYO]
• Lloyd Grove's 4,100-word article on Sumner Redstone is online. [Portfolio]
• If a cable news doctor can be Surgeon General, we probably shouldn't be surprised to see that Joe the Plumber is now a war correspondent. [NYP]

Fox News' Greta Van Susteren is Sarah Palin's close friend and kitchen buddy, and she's not about to stand back and let CNN slanderously accuse Palin of "falling from grace" last year. Huh.

Michael Hirschorn writes the single most insightful and plausible essay yet on the probable coming decline, fall, and (perhaps) rebirth of the New York Times. You reading, Pinch? [The Atlantic]

Kanye West is planning a puppet show, but he's been beaten to the punch—drowsy, dancing teenage rapper Soulja Boy has just launched an online cartoon show starring Alfonso Riberio. Hip hop is magic:

Are a you laid off media person? Have you joined The American Society of Shitcanned Media Elites (ASSME)? You should, because they're a seriously legitimate organization now. They have T-shirts and everything!

• Laura Bush either received $1.5 million for her memoir or $3.5-5 million, depending on who you believe. Either way, it's a lot less than Hillary Clinton's $8 million advance for Living History. [NYP, WSJ]
• Chris Matthews is not running for Senate, according to his brother. [P'ticker]
• A new buyer has emerged for TV Guide. The movie studio Lionsgate is picking up the cable network and website for $255 million. [AP]
• Senior Village Voice staffers are taking 10-15 percent pay cuts. [DW]
• Another reason kids can't find Iraq on a map: Foreign-related news coverage by the three major networks fell to a record low during 2008. [IPS]
• Those ads on the front-page of the Times run $75K on weekdays. [NYP]
• Ogilvy & Mather is cutting 10 percent of its staff today. [AdAge]
• CBS's Lara Logan gave birth to a son. [FBDC]

Skeletal oddity Ann Coulter was "BANNED BY NBC," but now she's making the rounds of the fair networks to bleat about her own victimhood:

Ann Coulter has a new book out called GLORBAHLF: LIBERAL TERROR DEATH and she was going to go sell this book on Today but then NBC woke up and remembered that its not 2002.

Nobody watches Fox Business Network, but that doesn't stop them from landing the best business journalists in the game. Like Liz Claman, who split from CNBC because they used too many fancy "business" words: