• A new poll finds that one-third of Americans under 40 think The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are replacing "traditional" news outlets. [HP]
• Nickelodeon is asking kids to unplug their TVs and gadgets for a minute on Earth Day to signal "a commitment to helping the environment." Just a minute, though! Then they can go back to filling their heads with mindless junk. [AP]
• CNBC's Larry Kudlow will not be running for the Senate. Crushing! [NYT]
• Ratings for President Obama's telecast last night "showed some audience slippage compared with his two most recent live events." [THR]
• The Chicago Tribune and LA Times are combining their foreign reporters into one unit. Meanwhile, the AJC is cutting 30% of its staff. [E&P, AP]
• How is Twitter going to make money? Good question! [WSJ]
• William Morris is likely to seal a deal with Endeavor this week. [TDB]
• Verizon says it plans to launch its own local TV channel in NYC this summer. It will be just like NY1, minus the incomparable Pat Kiernan, of course. [WSJ]

CrooksandLiars founder John Amato posted a "blog" on what to do when Fox News' Bill O'Reilly's stalker/producer ambushes you. It's pretty useful, if you are a filthy slut feminazi blogger! But it could be simplified.

Remember the iconic New York Magazine sign on Madison and 49th? Now it's a Burberry sign. Metaphor contest! We say "The triumph of the fetish over the fetishist." Sad for history. [Racked; Click to enlarge.]

An "emotionally disturbed" 16 year-old has confessed to killing ABC radio newsman George Weber in his Brooklyn apartment last Friday, in what appears to be rough sex gone very wrong.

Last week we asked you, the media freelancers, to tell us how long you're waiting to get paid. Scads responded! Deadbeat villains, prepare to be outed.

UH OH: Complex magazine put Kim Kardashian on its cover this month, but it forgot to Photoshop one of its images of her (left) until Bucky Turco caught it. Huzzah for real womanhood! [Animal NY]

In your "not really spring" Tuesday column: Obama to meet "bloggers"(??), journalists die while nobody notices, newspapers scrounge for ideas, and Eliot Spitzer's a media darling!:

Last Saturday, the NYT ran a breezy op-ed by Daphne Merkin, blaming widespread willful delusion for the Bernie Madoff debacle. No wonder. Her brother is the scam's biggest sucker.

• Hachette is looking to sell a big bunch of magazines, including Road & Track, Car & Driver, American Photo, Boating, Cycle World, Sound & Vision, and Flying. Package deals available; financing not so much. [AdAge, MW]
• Dick Parsons will step down from the Time Warner board in May. [Crains]
• Time Warner is buying a stake in Ron Lauder's European TV company. [PC]
• Discovery chief David Zaslav is "cable's fastest rising star," according to Forbes. Also: You're welcome to call him "Zazz" if you'd like. [Forbes]
• More on the media tour that Eliot Spitzer has been on recently. [NYO]
• It seems the Obama administration is looking at ways to avoid the "filter of the mainstream media." That sounds familiar, doesn't it? [Politico]
• Further proof that CNBC sucks, assuming you need some. [MediaMatters]
• Barry Meyer and Alan Horn will spend two more years at Warner Bros. [THR]
• George Lopez has a new talk show on TBS. Contain your excitement. [NYT]

More details have emerged in the murder of ABC radio newsman George Weber, who was stabbed to death in his Brooklyn apartment on Friday. It looks like a "sex slay," unfortunately.

The New Yorker is not going biweekly. "Report it out, or shut the fuck up."

In your customary Monday media column: Another paper goes online-only, new magazines magically appear, a plagiarism scandal rocks Ocala, and a nice happy WSJ memo:

• You can rest easier now: Now that he's no longer planning to run for Senate, Chris Matthews has signed a new four-year contract with MSNBC. [NYT]
• Howard Dean has signed on to be a CNBC contributor. [HP]
• Major media companies are now looking for a bailout. From Google. [AdAge]
• Jay Leno's chat with Obama was his fourth most-watched show ever. [LAT]
• Some perks may be curtailed at Condé Nast. Like the one that allowed Portfolio editor Joanne Lipman to fly to Davos first-class, possibly. [NYP]
• Advance Publications is instituting mandatory 10-day furloughs and a pension freeze at nearly all of its daily papers, says Steve Newhouse. [E&P]
• Time publisher Don Fries is headed out the door. [NYP]
• NBC is very good at spinning the Times, in case you haven't noticed. [CJR]
• Knowing starring Nic Cage was No. 1 at the box office this weekend. [NYDN]

Bill O'Reilly's standard method of public discourse is to have people ambushed by cameramen and producers vetted for their shouting ability. Try to find one single difference between O'Reilly's guys and a psychopathic stalker:

Brash young New York Times metroblogger and heir to the empire AG Sulzberger is already being allowed to summarize the Sunday news shows. The future of journalism, in more ways than one! [NYT; Pic via]

How in the world can you make an online news site full of foreign coverage profitable these days? With gimmicks! How would you like to speak to a real live reporter, on the telephone?

Not only are there no real entry-level media jobs; even internship opportunities have come to this: "Do you watch The City, read Gawker and know the names of people like Julia Allison and Kristian Laliberté?"

Barack Obama won the presidency by refusing to play into the tit-for-tat frenzy of the campaign news cycle. Now he should really show he's a grownup and axe the daily White House press briefing.

America faces many problems today, but none is as pressing as the epidemic of our children smokin' Smarties. Yes, the media are scaremongering. But are they scaremongering enough?

In your finally Friday media column: a paltry offer for the Seattle P-I, Jake Tapper's a twit, arm fetish redux, Baba Wawa looks towards the end, and newspapers....you know: