Intrepid New York Times Russia correspondent (and former Marine!) CJ Chivers was snatched by the KGB this morning! Or was he? Read on for the details of this most insignificant international incident:

Russia! says that the Russian press reported that Chivers was "detained" by the KGB when he tried to enter into the disputed territory of Ossetia, and subsequently sent packin' back to Moscow. Crushing press freedom! International disputes! Editors called from New York, alarmed! Actually, Chivers told them, he and his fixer were just forced to sit around at the border because the border guards' supervisor was "in the shower":

In your rubble-strewn Friday media column: rumors of carnage at Budget Travel, threats at a medical journal, advertising havoc at ESPN mag, and editors destroy everything:

• NBC is chopping 6 shows, including, yes, the Chopping Block. [THR]
• It's rumored Budget Travel has, yes, cut its budget. [Gawker]
• Another stain on Jim Cramer, not that he needs it: In '07, he called Andrew Cuomo a "communist" for proposing mortgage industry regulation. [NYT]
• The Times's Bill Keller sheds some light on yesterday's cuts and layoffs. [E&P]
• Condé Nast's Chuck Townsend sheds light on his staff changes. [AdAge]
• Lionsgate slashed 8 percent of its staff today. [THR]
• Newspaper ad revenue dropped 17.7% in 2008. [E&P]
• Americans spend 8.5 hours a day consuming video content. [NYT]
• Facebook needs a (generous) friend: It's trying to raise $100 million. [PC]
• Cable company Charter Communications is officially bankrupt. [NYT]

Do-gooder earth magazine Plenty had a nasty reputation for not paying its writers. The magazine folded in January, but its website was bought by a semi-celebrity. The writers still want their money, okay?

A fascinating new study of American media consumption provides many insights, but they can all be summed up as: 20-somethings are sexting, 30-somethings are nerds, 40-somethings are online wingnuts, and we're all fucking zombies.

Yesterday the New York Times cut all of its non-union salaries by 5%—but it had to meet with the union to ask its members to go along as well. They better!

Everyone's been dying to know what goes inside the elite, secretive JournoList, a listserv for smug lefty pundits. Now we know: The same pointless flame wars you'd find on the filthy Main Street/Wasilla internets.

Oppressed media freelancers: we stand in solidarity with you. Please continue to send us info on how long publications are taking to pay you. We're also looking for payment success stories! Round two, coming soon.

In your bitter Thursday media column: Barack Obama to speak Spanish on the teevee, assorted sickening reminiscences and developments from the dying newspaper industry, and Perez Hilton is the future:

For your perusal. The salary cut memo:

• It's been a dark day at the New York Times: Arthur Sulzberger Jr. and Janet Robinson announced a five percent salary reduction for all editors and said 100 employees on the business side would be laid off. [Gawker, NYO, NYT]
• Blender has been shuttered; April will be the mag's last issue. [AdAge]
• The Washington Post is offering buyouts again. And if enough people don't take 'em, the paper says a round of layoffs will follow. [Politico]
• Richard Beckman is out as Condé Nast's marketing chief; he'll be heading up the company's Fairchild Fashion Group instead. [WSJ, Crains]
• It's getting a little stormy over at the Weather Channel! [NYP]
• Rod Blagojevich may have some sort of reality show in the works. [CST]
• ABC News has settled a lawsuit filed against Diane Sawyer. [NYP]
• Barry Diller is the proud new owner of SportsPickle.com. [PaidContent]
• The most newspaper-friendly city in America? Rochester! [E&P]

The New York Times has completed the first step: admitting it has a problem. The internal memo is out, confirming today's rumored pay cuts (and layoffs). This is big news.

Blender, the music magazine, is dead. Its owners folded it this morning, eliminating about 30 jobs in the process.

Quality mockery of Jeff Jarvis, et al. Always worthwhile.

Updated: We've heard solid rumors that editors and managers at the New York Times are being told they will be taking a 5% pay cut and the paper is asking for similar cuts from newsroom employees.

Former MSNBC host Dan Abrams, not content with running his shady new conflict-of-interest-laden PR firm for working journalists, now wants to start up his very own "'Drudge meets The Huffington Post' site." Oh good.

Celebubutt Kim Kardashian's Photoshopped picture from Complex magazine is the grownup(?) version of Highlights for Kids: How many differences can you spot?

The Satanic Myspace page of 16-year-old John Katehis, who confessed to murdering newsman George Weber, has already been deleted. We've salvaged quite a few of his photos. Here, the complete, creepy collection:

In your sun-dappled Wednesday media column: Newspapers crumble like so many sandcastles at high tide, Rupert Murdoch's still rich, Choire has a contest, and J-school is changing. Not enough:

Richard Beckman—formerly head of the Conde Nast Media Group, which handles the company's biggest and most exclusive advertisers—is now the President and C.E.O. of Conde's Fairchild Fashion Group. That's a demotion. Backstory: