At Amazon, Jeff Bezos has no unionized employees. At the Washington Post, he has 1,200.

Here is an exhaustive rundown of the shitshow that is the Philadelphia newspaper business. (Including a Jann Wenner-esque owner putting his 20-something child in charge of an entire online operation!)

Here is what just happened this afternoon, with no warning: Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, whose net worth is estimated to be more than $25 billion, just purchased the Washington Post. By himself. What?

The dessicated, online-only husk of what was once a big magazine called Newsweek has finally been sold off (despite our explicit instructions not to buy it). For editor Tina Brown, it marks the end of a humiliating career defeat. Newsweek's downfall exposed all of Tina Brown's weaknesses, and won't hurt her a bit.

The Boston Globe's new business editor, Mark Pothier, once played keyboards for industrial savants Ministry. "Then, I had to 'Work for Love,'" notes Pothier. "Now I just work."

The Nation publishes a call for racial and economic diversity in journalism; The Nation's interns respond with a letter to the editor asking for better pay. Zing. Well done, interns. (Step three is going to work for a company that makes more money than The Nation.)

America is changing. People these days no longer fly Old Glory, eat apple pie, or take their date a-courtin' before copulation. Instead of mom marrying dad, people are marrying gays, or horses. And our national love affair with TV is being replace by blippity-bloopity-interdigital thingamajiggery.

Sad news, chuckleheads: Perma-enraged seething cauldron of bigotry and ill-concealed sexual tension Andrea Peyser, the tabloid columnist who has been a longtime "Gawker favorite" in the same sense that Slobodan Milosevic was a "favorite" of the International Criminal Tribunal, is taking a leave of absence from the New York Post.

We'll give you one guess who's on the new Vanity Fair cover. ONE GUESS. [Ghost Monthly.]

BuzzFeed writer Erik Malinowski claims that last week's New York Times Magazine story about misinformation online, in which Malinowski is referenced as someone who spread false rumors after the Boston Marathon bombing, contains some errors of its own.

Irena Briganti is the Fox News PR attack dog described as "The Most Vindictive Flack in the Media World," by us. Despite her high profile job and use of the media to smear reporters, Briganti herself takes great pains to keep all information about her out of the public realm. In the spirit of public interest, we present the fourth known photograph of Irena Briganti.

We're hearing that The Fix, the "addiction and recovery" site founded by former Radar-er Maer Roshan (who later departed), may be close to folding due to unspecified financial issues. If you know more, email me.

Paul Browne, the NYPD's longtime spokesman, is retiring. It is a well-established and irrefutable fact that Paul Browne is a liar. The New York Times knows this. They'll even write about it. They just can't come right out and say it.

Nate Silver, the statistics whiz whose political projections kept millions of Democrats from completely losing their shit during the 2012 election cycle, is leaving the New York Times for ESPN.

A federal appeals court has ruled that New York Times reporter James Risen must testify in the case of Jeffrey Sterling, a former CIA officer currently on trial for allegedly leaking classified information. Risen has vowed to go to jail, if necessary, to protect his sources.

On Tuesday's MSNBC morning kaffeeklatsch, Morning Joe, the shameless and corrupt commentator Mike Barnicle said the following during a group discussion about the Trayvon Martin killing:

The American Journalism Review is killing its print edition. Sounds like some of that "symbolism" we heard about.

No matter how great the backlash, the venerable Washington Post is determined to publish explanations from white columnists of why Trayvon Martin's death was actually very understandable. Today: Kathleen Parker says that racial profiling is "common sense." Oh yes.

In its most recent Sunday Styles section, the New York Times published a 4,800-word story headlined, "Sex on Campus: She Can Play That Game, Too." One reporter spent a full five months working exclusively on this patronizing abomination.

Journalism schools are, in general, overpriced elitist anachronisms with no compelling reason to exist in their current form. So it makes sense that they're both shrinking and changing. The only thing staying the same: desperate justifications of their own existence.