This memo went out this morning to employees of what was formerly called Incisive Media, and what will be now called (once again) ALM.

The New York Post's plan to resurrect the Eliot Spitzer hooker scandal story is turning out fabulously. Day one was the "Spitzer comeback?" rumor. Day two was the Shocked Response. Now, day three: Ashley Dupre makes her return. Musically, too!

Ted Kennedy writes about his "terrible decisions" after the Chappaquiddick accident in his posthumous memoir.

On MSNBC today, Mediaite's Glynnis MacNicol and Contessa Brewer speculated that none other than this humble site is responsible for the State Department's investigation into contractor misbehavior in Kabul, Afghanistan. Oh, you crazy kids.

Millionairess Mediabistro founder Laurel Touby and her husband, Businessweek media columnist Jon Fine, are taking months-long sabbaticals to "do some ambitious traveling." We'd do the exact same thing if we had that money. Jerks. [The Wrap. Pic: MB]

Back in April we floated some rumors that NYC's youngest media mogul Jared Kushner was anxious to extricate himself from owning the New York Observer. Now, we hear, Kushner's still searching for ways out.

Remember the hidden sex scene in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas? It was a terrible, amoral departure from the game's official content of endless murder rampages. And it's going to cost publisher Take-Two Interactive an astonishing $20 million.

• Charlie Gibson is retiring as anchor of ABC's World News Tonight at the end of the year; he'll be replaced by Diane Sawyer, who is stepping down as anchor of Good Morning America to take the job. And now Brian Williams will soon be the only man anchoring a nightly network newscast. [NYP]
• The 66th installment of the Venice Film Festival kicked off today. [THR]
• Thanks to the success of Royal Pains and Burn Notice, USA has scored the highest summer ratings in the history of cable television. [B&C]
• Current TV's Laura Ling and Euna Lee have broken their silence and are now describing some of what happened when they were captured in North Korea. Not all it, though. You'll have to buy their book to read the rest. [LAT]
• Is Jared Kushner looking to unload the Observer? That's the rumor. [Gawker]

In your buttermilk-battered Wednesday media column: the NYT cafeteria gets a sterling review, Jack Shafer is a night-wandering insomniac, Graydon Carter blackballs restaurateurs, and citizen journalism pays off (for somebody), and Hearst rents a fresh bachelor pad.

The Eliot Spitzer hooker scandal was—without a doubt—the biggest New York tabloid story of the year last year. Slow news this summer? The New York Post will just bring the Spitzer story back! Based on...what?

Harvard Medical School tried to tell its own students they couldn't speak to the (scary) media without the school's official permission. Shut up, college—literally! Haha. No we did not go to Harvard, why? Luckily!

The news media pretends it holds moral authority in a world gone mad. But that's just until they find a story so seductive that they can't help but discard said authority, as seen in the storm surrounding psycho Phillip Garrido.

These news anchors just love to laugh and chuckle and mock Rod Blagojevich's new book where he compares himself to Jesus. Guess who was also mocked, by primitive Roman "news anchors"? Jesus the first. And history repeats.

• NBC plans to deliver its programming to gas stations. So if you don't tune into Jay Leno voluntarily, you may be forced to do so while you pump gas. [MC]
• Mad Men has been renewed for a fourth season, not surprisingly. [NYT]
• Freedom Communications, the company that publishes the Orange County Register, among other newspapers, has filed for bankruptcy protection [E&P]
• Magazines are having trouble selling copies on newsstands, so now they're going to focus on getting you to sign up for subscriptions. [NYT]
• Don't be surprised when you see Tony Bourdain whip out his Chase Visa card to pay for meals on his Travel Channel show. It's now part of his job. [AdAge]
• The show goes on for Plum TV, the "resort and luxury lifestyle TV network." The company just raised another $5 million from investors. [PC]
• Rachel Maddow says she had swine flu! But she went to the doctor, got "the special swine flu drugs," and is all better now, thankfully. [HP]

In your cooling Tuesday media column: Politico gets the hot scoop on human being David Frum, a public broadcasting station regrets its spending habits, sex and violence soldier on, and a media man passes on.

Vanity Fair's annual "New Establishment" list is out—the highly subjective guide to the 100 most important people in Graydon Carter's world. We bring you the highlights, below.

ESPN's Erin Andrews is on the road to recovery after being taped in the nude by a sicko perv, and then victimized again by the faux-outraged tabloids. But her upcoming return to television proves ESPN is run by sexxx pervs:

Are you a newspaper reporter under the age of 35? No, because if you were, you would be fired immediately.

CBS correspondent Cami McCormick survived and is coming home soon after being bombed in Afghanistan.

In your proper Monday media column: One newspaper attacked by Harry Reid, another newspaper attacked by Blondie, women's magazines that sit at the checkout line unread, and a reporter hurt in Afghanistan.